Doris47

On the rollercoaster again today, I'm very much up and down. Today has been a really tough day already 😫.
The pull is really strong today....
Saw a couple of old drinking buddies outside the pub, (whilst I was walking home from work), having a cigarette. I stopped to talk, with them trying to persuade me to come an have a pint.........God I wanted to, but I didn't 😫.
It's left me feeling, angry, bitter, and pretty p****d off really. Is it always going to feel like this? The feeling of missing out, (I already know the answer to this) but it's the here and now feelings that I'm struggling with.
Just wanted to off load and share
🙏💖

MLD51

It doesn't last. I was pretty angry at the beginning, too. It was a feeling I didn't quite understand then. I should have been happy, but I found myself pretty resentful that I had to deal with a disease I didn't ask for. I was afraid I'd miss out. I saw people enjoying, or pretending to enjoy, their alcohol and I wished I could and I was mad that I wasn't a normal drinker. But that feeling did go away - I'm grateful now. I would not be the person I have grown to be if I hadn't been forced to quit drinking and work on myself and figure out who I really am. You'll be fine, Doris, if you stick to it.

Doris47

Thank you so much, I fully intend to keep going, but like you say I feel resentful, I know if I had 1 pint I would of been heading for a full on relapse,that wouldn't of stopped today . It's just so damn hard sometimes. Other times I feel like I'm smashing it.
🙏💖

thomas11

Someone on this site once told me to stop viewing sobriety as punishment. The real punishment is drinking. It helped me. Maybe it can help you.

MLD51

Yeah, it's hard at the beginning, for sure. But now I almost never feel like I'm missing out. I can put it in perspective pretty easily. All I'm missing out on is the maybe half hour of feeling relaxed and carefree that a glass of wine or two would bring. I know it would quickly become 3-4-5 glasses of wine, and the anxiety, shame, and depression would set in. No thanks.

WhoDeyPI

Stay strong, Dori.

Doris47

Whilst I know that's 100% true, I can't help those feelings sometimes, an to get it out helps 😃. I know if I have a drink, it's only going to go one way😫
I'm choosing not to drink. I also have full faith in the people that take time to answer, knowing they have experienced the same feelings.
🙏💖

lessgravity

You didn't drink, that's all that matters. It gets easier and gets so much better. Refusing in that situation gave you some sober muscles, strength gained, the poison averted. Nice job.

Doris47

That's a really good way of looking at things "gaining strength and sober muscles" I need to take the positive from this. 🙌🙌.
Again being able to pour it all out helps, thank you 🙏💖

Fearlessat50

Congrats for getting through that, Doris. Isn’t it helpful to come here too? I promise it does get better and easier and you will get stronger! Every time a person gives in, they reinforce the cycle of drinking. But every time they don’t give in even when they want to, they reinforce their sobriety. It is like a sober muscle for sure. Just like exercise.

Snowydelrico

Well done for not drinking.
You will look back and think bloody hell I was in deep.
Glad I don’t have to do that anymore.

Get through these feelings and learn to deal with them.
What ever it takes Doris, what ever it takes.
You owe it to yourself. You know you do.
Chin up soldier, you done good.

Doris47

Cheers snowy 😃, just one of those little moments, I'm learning everyday. One step at a time.
I didn't drink.........
I don't want to drink.......
I will not drink .........
That's all I have to do today 💖🙏

Helianthus

It's definitely hard in the beginning which is why it's so important to have a plan for times like these. Well done on resisting

Snowydelrico

Resentment. That old chestnut.
The AV’s trump card.
If you can learn to spot the early signs like things not meeting your expectations you strengthen your foundations.
Resentment is the no.1 offender in my eyes.

Doris47

I'm beginning to understand this, and I think that's the brilliance of this site, to gather all the information from all of you lot. It's priceless snowy
💖🙏

Evoo

Yeah, I've felt that anger before.

When I decided NOT to attend a Saint Patrick's day pub crawl I had done literally every year prior. I was furious -- furious with myself, with alcohol, with everything. I felt like I had ruined my life (for not being able to get wasted, image that). I called myself horrible names, weak-willed, etc...

But I knew I had no business at a ******* pub crawl. But FOMO and AV were pretty damn loud about it. In fact, looking back I am proud of myself for not going.

I spent that entire Saint Paddy's at the gym.

Snowydelrico

Ur welcome,
Experience, can’t put a price on it no.
Take the info, apply it, become experienced.

People learn degrees.
Why not learn sobriety.
Takes about as long and worth a lot more.

You could create a journal and put it towards being a councillor for addiction.

So many things come from sobriety

Sorry for whittling on

Doris47

You whittle away mate, like ive said this is priceless to me, to understand, recognize and put into practice all your knowledge.
I'm on it snowy 🙌🙏💖

Doris47

I've come to far now, to throw it all away and go back, I'm not going back, I don't belong there anymore.
I have to dig deep on days like this. Tomorrow is a new day, I'm eternally grateful for all of your input, advice, and support . I'm going continue smashing my goals, I'm on my way to a month now.
Let's do this 💪
As always,wishing much love, strength and hope.
🙏💖

least

It gets easier, the longer you stay sober.