Highercall

NerfThis

For alcoholics, total abstinence is far easier than trying to moderate.

Of course, this is completely dependent on whether one really wants to be sober more than one wants to drink.

lessgravity

Not sure if you are being serious with a 10+ drink night as being one of moderation. Either way, you are coming up on year having posted this:

This time I want recovery

I have struggled with alcoholism my whole adult life. I have been vomiting nearly everyday making bad decisions and sufferring severe anxiety the morning after the night before. It's always been a vicious circle of getting drunk bad hangover sober for a day or two and then back to drinking. I am desperate to overcome this.


--> There's a better life for you. But you need to accept that you can never drink again. Until you do, your life with be a constant swing between pain, suffering, the poison and regret. I know only because was the same for me.

MLD51

Are you saying that you tried to moderate and failed? Because 10 drinks is not moderating.

Sounds to me like you have decided to quit? I'm not really sure from your post.

In any case - moderating rarely (if ever) works for alcoholics. It's actually easier to quit. You will need a plan - and to stick to it. If you really have decided to stop, create a plan for how to do that, and follow it.

ReadyAtLast

Hi everyday this week you've posted about wanting to quit and everyone day you binge. How do you know if abstinence is not for you if you never give it a chance?

yes it's difficult uncomfortable painful and awful but it can be done. Just have to do anything to do it.

firstly don't buy any alcohol. Stay home with no booze. Do anything but drink.

Doris47

This post makes me really anxious 😱.
Please give yourself a chance man......
Just don't pick up that drink, man you know exactly where it's gonna lead .....
🙏💖

least

I hope you'll give sobriety a chance before something really awful happens to you as a result of your drinking.

Kdon853

Evoo

For me, "moderation" was a goal for nearly a decade. Here's the problem I've had to come to terms with, slowly and painfully:

One or two drinks doesn't relax me like it might a "normal" drinker. It actually produces anxiety and cravings. It produces a very temporary high at great cost. I don't want to moderate, if alcohol passes my lips -- I want to get drunk. If I get drunk, I experience withdrawal symptoms no matter how long it's been since my last drink.

But I also can appreciate how much more "difficult" sobriety would've been in my youth. Every social encounter revolved around drinking, as did my network of friends and acquaintances, family connections -- really everything.

I had to rebuild from scratch. But it's worth it -- my health, my well-being, my family, my longevity -- all worth it.

And honestly I feel better now than I ever did on any drunken binge.

Keep posting, keep questioning, and don't let the voice in your head that wants to drink dictate your actions.

Good luck .

AnvilheadII

try this for moderation - one drink every one hundred years. otherwise it's going to need to be NONE. that is the only way to break the cycle, to break the grip alcohol has on you.

and it's really not that bad....the sober life. it's not like all the sober people here are lying. not drinking ever takes all the mental anguish out of the equation. all the lies. secrecy. hangovers. think of this - no more putting your face in the same place your butt just sat! that's quite the bonus.

MantaLady

You are making bad decisions.

Followed by more bad decisions.

Make better decisions HC.

You have had enough advice from enough people to know what you need to do. I absolutely understand how hard it is to get through the first few weeks not drinking, but at the same time I can't enable you by pandering to these type of posts anymore HC. If you are not willing to do the hard yards to get the benefits that sobriety brings then how do you expect anything to change?

I would say from your history here you need to look into going to rehab. I hope that you see the light. xx

ljc267

You sound like I used to think. I remember thinking ok I'm going to moderately drink from now on, and at the time, that meant drinking no more then 12 beers during the week and 14 on the weekends. I'm serious. How skewed is that thinking. To me 12 beers was moderate drinking.

That didn't work. Then I said ok I'll only drink 6 and 8 on weekends. It was torture. It was like taking 1/2 an aspirin for a migraine.

If you are an alcoholic moderation will never ever work. I tried for a decade and I am an extremely disciplined person and it didn't work.

It's hard to quit, believe me I know, but you can do it and you will be far better off because of it.

Paperbag

Well congratulations on attempting the impossible. You know as well as everyone else on here that there is more chance of finding twin unicorns than moderating successfully.

MantaLady

Also HC you need to start being honest with yourself. You have proved to yourself on numerous occasions that you cannot moderate. You've made statements in the past that you know you cannot moderate.

You didn't decide to moderate. You decided to drink as you normally do. This "moderation" excuse has more holes in it than a hookers fishnet tights and you know it.

I say all the above with kindness and brutal honesty HC, you are a bright and intelligent chap and whilst you might be happy to lie to yourself I am not going to blow smoke up your a$$ and lie to you, you deserve better than that.

I know you believe that rehab is for those that are 24/7 drinkers that need a medical detox but that is another excuse and the addiction talking. It works wonders for those that can get a few days under their belt but no more, when the urge hits they cannot stop themselves. When you are in a rehab, after 3 days of being sober and the urge hits...well you can't just act on impulse and get alcohol. You have to go through the uncomfortable feelings to come out the other side and realise you can make it through and it won't kill you.

Make better choices, do something different and remember that everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear xx

Canuck76

I never even tried to moderate. I drank to get drunk. In fact, if I knew I could only have 2 or 3 drinks maximum, I wouldn't even bother. I never drank on planes because I knew my consumption would be scrutinized. Can't really expect to be able to drink 12 beers in a few hours and not raise eyebrows so I would rather not drink at all

WhoDeyPI

Ya'll, I don't think he was saying that he considers 10+ drinks "moderation". I think he was saying his INTENT was to only have a few...but as expected it turned into sliding down the slope. For me, drinking in moderation would never work. I'm a "drink to be drunk" drinker. I love hitting the "tipsy zone", but then once I hit it, it's never enough until I'm passed out.

NerfThis

That was the impression I got too.

I must mention HC that I wasn't going to post in any more of your threads after you took offense to my comments in a previous thread, but I will say this. For Sober Recovery Forum to be EFFECTIVE, you must do MORE than create threads each week that you immediately abandon. I very rarely see you respond to advice given by others. There is a pattern of creating a binge thread where multiple people post extremely valuable advice, but you simply don't respond. You then create a new thread asking for help and a plan (help and plan suggestions which have already been given in your previous abandoned threads) or a new thread appears telling us about a new terrible binge.

People here have been trying to help you for a long time. They are taking time out of their days to try and help you beat this, so equal time has to be given by yourself to absorb the advice given and actively apply it to gain sobriety (should sobriety be what you're aiming for). Sobriety isn't easy, but if you do the work it is a much better life than being a slave to alcohol.

Evoo

Yes, this! This is the thing I’ve finally realized, too. Moderation, for an alcoholic, is a miserable, tortuous affair. It’s no different than a person with bulimia nervosa deciding they will “only binge and purge a little on weekends.” It’s never OK.

entropy1964

Hey HC

Hope you are starting to feel better.

Read all your past threads HC. Read around here. You know moderation doesn't work.

Acceptance that alcohol will never be in my life is key. That there is no time no situation where it will 'work'. Ever. It starts there.

And if I do drink, I try to be really honest with me. I didn't get triggered. I didn't slip. I chose to drink...because I'm an alcoholic. Period.

Read about acceptance. Write about acceptance...what it means to you? What is it? What is keeping you from it? And so on.

JamesSquire

If I remember correctly a can of Stella is 500mL (1.9 std drinks), so you had more than 16 std drinks.

No wonder you're feeling crook.

Hope you're feeling better.

I tried moderation, worked some days, mostly didn't.

Hope you can see it's not working and maybe you need to rethink this through.
Not easy to give it up but listen to the people who have here, it's a life changing experience for the better. I hope I can be in that utopia one day.