Newbie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
Newbie
Hello all
I found this forum from a google search trying to find people like me. I am learning that sobriety talk isn't very interesting to people who are able to drink normally and I would love some sober buddies who understand!
Today I am 7 weeks sober. It is going well and I feel a lot of benefits, but I have a few struggles.
I am finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that I will never be able to drink moderately. For example, I can't imagine going on holiday without drinking or attending a family party or wedding without alcohol. On the other hand, I love the idea of being a healthy person who doesn't drink, who eats healthily, who exercises regularly and who looks after their mental health (I am doing all of these things again since getting sober).
I am also terrified that I will 'accidentally' drink. Realistically, I have no idea how this would happen, but I am worried I will forget somehow and suddenly have drunk a bottle of wine and be back at square one. In the first couple of weeks I had horrible nightmares and though they have stopped, I now dream that I have had a drink because I forgot I wasn't supposed to and feed dreadfully guilty afterwards. When I wake up, it takes me a while to realise that it isn't true, that I am still on track.
I feel better just writing this down. I have been listening to Recovery Happy Hour podcast which I find so helpful and relaxing, but it is nice to actually get some of those feelings out of my system.
Can anyone relate?
I found this forum from a google search trying to find people like me. I am learning that sobriety talk isn't very interesting to people who are able to drink normally and I would love some sober buddies who understand!
Today I am 7 weeks sober. It is going well and I feel a lot of benefits, but I have a few struggles.
I am finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that I will never be able to drink moderately. For example, I can't imagine going on holiday without drinking or attending a family party or wedding without alcohol. On the other hand, I love the idea of being a healthy person who doesn't drink, who eats healthily, who exercises regularly and who looks after their mental health (I am doing all of these things again since getting sober).
I am also terrified that I will 'accidentally' drink. Realistically, I have no idea how this would happen, but I am worried I will forget somehow and suddenly have drunk a bottle of wine and be back at square one. In the first couple of weeks I had horrible nightmares and though they have stopped, I now dream that I have had a drink because I forgot I wasn't supposed to and feed dreadfully guilty afterwards. When I wake up, it takes me a while to realise that it isn't true, that I am still on track.
I feel better just writing this down. I have been listening to Recovery Happy Hour podcast which I find so helpful and relaxing, but it is nice to actually get some of those feelings out of my system.
Can anyone relate?
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Welcome to SR sobersophie! I absolutely relate to similar dreams! In the dream I would realise I was under the influence but wasn’t sure how it happened and I would feel sick to the pit of my stomache, how could I be drunk...I don’t drink! Then wake up with the guilt and shame and total panic till I realise it was a dream. They are horrid but I am at just over 8 months sober now and they don’t happen often.
SR is a great resource, lots of information and support and the community are fantastic.
Lovely to have you join us and keep up the good fight! x
SR is a great resource, lots of information and support and the community are fantastic.
Lovely to have you join us and keep up the good fight! x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 1
I was actually here looking for some information on withdrawing from buprenorphine but after reading a lot of posts I was in a very bad place years ago. Short story is I went from a 10mg 15 - 20 pill a day to oxy 80's putting me and my family into almost financial ruins till one day I detoxed, which I really didn't get considering they transferred me to subs after leaving. Now almost a decade later I must stop the pain completely, which I might add is very hard off subs (I actually took just buprenorphine since the naloxone gave me headaches but I will just use subs as a generic) and I have tried many times before. I have been down to about 1/4 of a 2mg for the last few years now a week in on nothing, just a start but still rough, but this is it for me. I know it can be done as bad as it may be or get but at this point I dont have much of a choice it's this or my livelihood so maybe it's a blessing in disguise? I will leave that one open, but it is possible for anyone who can just be willing to say enough. I wish I could go back to the day I left detox and walked into that doctors office to start a maintenance that would soon run my life, I would change so much! So if the tingling in my hands and feet stop waking me up 2 hours into sleep, literally the worst thing thus far, and not letting me go back to sleep without clonidine assisting me it would be wonderful. But everything else aside I am going to succeed and prevail this monster that runs my everyday life, I am so tired of my normal being anything but. Subs are a good way to help but there needs to be a plan of action, which I really deviated from any plan that I had when I started them years ago. This is my life...
30yrdrunk
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 89
Hi Sophie,
I am almost 7 weeks sober myself. Try reading ‘This Naked Mind’ by Annie Grace. She specifically discusses the inner turmoil felt by someone trying to live a life of sobriety. In a nutshell, your rational brain knows that drinking is harmful to you. You’ve thought it through and understand the consequences of drinking. Your animal brain craves that temporary feeling of euphoria. This part of your brain only craves that sensation and will try and trick/undue what you’ve rationally decided is bad for you.
There is a an entire recovery movement well pre-dating the book called Alcoholic Voice Recognition
Treatment (AVRT) based on this theory. The basic idea is to recognize your alcoholic voice (AV). When you identify your AV it makes it easier to cope with. The urges from your AV can be powerful however only your way rational thinking brain can pick up a drink.
Hope you find this helpful. There are many wonderful folks here on Sober Recovery who can share there experiences and are successfully maintaining sobriety. Welcome.
I am almost 7 weeks sober myself. Try reading ‘This Naked Mind’ by Annie Grace. She specifically discusses the inner turmoil felt by someone trying to live a life of sobriety. In a nutshell, your rational brain knows that drinking is harmful to you. You’ve thought it through and understand the consequences of drinking. Your animal brain craves that temporary feeling of euphoria. This part of your brain only craves that sensation and will try and trick/undue what you’ve rationally decided is bad for you.
There is a an entire recovery movement well pre-dating the book called Alcoholic Voice Recognition
Treatment (AVRT) based on this theory. The basic idea is to recognize your alcoholic voice (AV). When you identify your AV it makes it easier to cope with. The urges from your AV can be powerful however only your way rational thinking brain can pick up a drink.
Hope you find this helpful. There are many wonderful folks here on Sober Recovery who can share there experiences and are successfully maintaining sobriety. Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
When you apply a program of recovery in
your everyday life on a continuous bases
building a strong, solid foundation one step
at a time, then you will achieve like so many
of us have, a healthy, happy, honest way of
life to live upon for many one days sober down
the road.
So many folks before me, pave the road
of recovery for me to follow by simply
sharing their own experiences, strengths
and hopes of what their lives were before,
during and after their addiction.
In listening, learning, absorbing and
applying helpful suggestions, tools
and knowledge of recovery we can
enjoy many amazing gifts offered to
us in life.
your everyday life on a continuous bases
building a strong, solid foundation one step
at a time, then you will achieve like so many
of us have, a healthy, happy, honest way of
life to live upon for many one days sober down
the road.
So many folks before me, pave the road
of recovery for me to follow by simply
sharing their own experiences, strengths
and hopes of what their lives were before,
during and after their addiction.
In listening, learning, absorbing and
applying helpful suggestions, tools
and knowledge of recovery we can
enjoy many amazing gifts offered to
us in life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 83
What a lovely clear and, to me, very relatable post! Welcome.
I have been a visitor here a few times before. I haven't managed a long period of sobriety. My own drinking is in binges. I would normally not drink for 4 or 5 days out of each week anyway and quite often not for 10-14 days. The problem is that , when I do, it might well be moderate. It might well not be. And when it isn't....! Well, it's not good!
I have had a number of periods of 3 or 4 weeks of abstinence in recent years. I always get to thinking that the longer it goes on, the greater my fall will be given that drinking again is inevitable at some point. That for me is the mindset I have to work on. I know I am happier sober and, cognitively, I know that drinking again is not inevitable - but it feels like that. So it doesn't come accidentally for me but rather when the fallout of the last big session has dissipated I am very likely to drink again. So this is where I am doing all of my work. But I am very much a beginner at this so have no wisdom to share!
7 weeks is superb. Keep going!!!!!!!!!!
I have been a visitor here a few times before. I haven't managed a long period of sobriety. My own drinking is in binges. I would normally not drink for 4 or 5 days out of each week anyway and quite often not for 10-14 days. The problem is that , when I do, it might well be moderate. It might well not be. And when it isn't....! Well, it's not good!
I have had a number of periods of 3 or 4 weeks of abstinence in recent years. I always get to thinking that the longer it goes on, the greater my fall will be given that drinking again is inevitable at some point. That for me is the mindset I have to work on. I know I am happier sober and, cognitively, I know that drinking again is not inevitable - but it feels like that. So it doesn't come accidentally for me but rather when the fallout of the last big session has dissipated I am very likely to drink again. So this is where I am doing all of my work. But I am very much a beginner at this so have no wisdom to share!
7 weeks is superb. Keep going!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by 30yrdrunk 
Hi Sophie,
I am almost 7 weeks sober myself. Try reading ‘This Naked Mind’ by Annie Grace. She specifically discusses the inner turmoil felt by someone trying to live a life of sobriety. In a nutshell, your rational brain knows that drinking is harmful to you. You’ve thought it through and understand the consequences of drinking. Your animal brain craves that temporary feeling of euphoria. This part of your brain only craves that sensation and will try and trick/undue what you’ve rationally decided is bad for you.
There is a an entire recovery movement well pre-dating the book called Alcoholic Voice Recognition
Treatment (AVRT) based on this theory. The basic idea is to recognize your alcoholic voice (AV). When you identify your AV it makes it easier to cope with. The urges from your AV can be powerful however only your way rational thinking brain can pick up a drink.
Hope you find this helpful. There are many wonderful folks here on Sober Recovery who can share there experiences and are successfully maintaining sobriety. Welcome.
I am almost 7 weeks sober myself. Try reading ‘This Naked Mind’ by Annie Grace. She specifically discusses the inner turmoil felt by someone trying to live a life of sobriety. In a nutshell, your rational brain knows that drinking is harmful to you. You’ve thought it through and understand the consequences of drinking. Your animal brain craves that temporary feeling of euphoria. This part of your brain only craves that sensation and will try and trick/undue what you’ve rationally decided is bad for you.
There is a an entire recovery movement well pre-dating the book called Alcoholic Voice Recognition
Treatment (AVRT) based on this theory. The basic idea is to recognize your alcoholic voice (AV). When you identify your AV it makes it easier to cope with. The urges from your AV can be powerful however only your way rational thinking brain can pick up a drink.
Hope you find this helpful. There are many wonderful folks here on Sober Recovery who can share there experiences and are successfully maintaining sobriety. Welcome.
Since Dee mentioned AV on another thread when I first started posting again, I can’t tell you how helpful this externalization technique has been for me these first two weeks.
Because my AV (alcohol voice) could almost be a separate living, breathing person constantly whispering in my ear, telling me a drink “will be fine” and that it’ll “make me feel better.” Etc. Etc. Etc.
Great advice, 30yr.
Glad you are here, Sophie.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 310
Thank you all for your supportive words and for the book recommendation! It is lovely to feel that I am not alone.
I have a strong feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can do this. I won't let the voice in my head that puts me down tell me otherwise.
We can do this!
I have a strong feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can do this. I won't let the voice in my head that puts me down tell me otherwise.
We can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,910
Welcome, welcome. And primary thing I would say is that you CAN do it, and if you ever start to feel like you can’t, then most definitely absolutely come here BEFORE taking a drink. These amazing people can help remind you of your own goals and help you stay on track if that is where you want to stay. Ultimately of course no one can do it for you but you but it sure does help to have a chorus of wise souls encouraging you to stay on the path to sobriety and health.
Congrats on 7 weeks!!
Congrats on 7 weeks!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 508
Welcome Sobersophie.
It my 7week today. I have been here more frequent than I ever thought I would be this time around. Whenever I have a craving or might get into a situation which could trigger the Evil AV to convince me to drink, I would be here. I have gotten such a great support from these beautiful friends.
I am part of the January 2019 class. Where we all started our journey to sobriety together. We share our feelings, experiences and encourage each other to stay on the path of sobriety.
It was hard to explain others of what I was going through, but not here. I have learnt about many different triggers which I had overlooked in the past.
Support here is incredible. Won't have been this far without SR.
It my 7week today. I have been here more frequent than I ever thought I would be this time around. Whenever I have a craving or might get into a situation which could trigger the Evil AV to convince me to drink, I would be here. I have gotten such a great support from these beautiful friends.
I am part of the January 2019 class. Where we all started our journey to sobriety together. We share our feelings, experiences and encourage each other to stay on the path of sobriety.
It was hard to explain others of what I was going through, but not here. I have learnt about many different triggers which I had overlooked in the past.
Support here is incredible. Won't have been this far without SR.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Hi Sophie and Welcome,
It's 7 weeks today for me too. 10 weeks is my record over the last couple of years and I intend to make sobriety stick this time round. I'm feeling quite positive in general and starting to think 'what next'. Lots of reading on SR is certainly helping...
Best wishes, Forwards.
It's 7 weeks today for me too. 10 weeks is my record over the last couple of years and I intend to make sobriety stick this time round. I'm feeling quite positive in general and starting to think 'what next'. Lots of reading on SR is certainly helping...
Best wishes, Forwards.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Welcome Sophie ad congrats on your sober time - congrats to you too forwards
I had all those fears too sophie, but becoming part of this community really helped.
I learned that life is still full rich and joyful without alcohol (I think even more so) and I learned I'm in change of what I put in my body.
I've gone from an all day everyday drinker to nearly 12 years sober. Change really is possible
D
I had all those fears too sophie, but becoming part of this community really helped.
I learned that life is still full rich and joyful without alcohol (I think even more so) and I learned I'm in change of what I put in my body.
I've gone from an all day everyday drinker to nearly 12 years sober. Change really is possible
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Hi from me too, SoberSophie. It's wonderful you have 7 wks. sober.
I feel exactly as Dee does. I drank 30 yrs. & was so afraid to let go. What would life be like? How would I ever have fun or relax again? All my fears settled down as I saw how free I felt without it. Sharing our feelings here takes some of the anxiety away. I'm so glad you found us.
I feel exactly as Dee does. I drank 30 yrs. & was so afraid to let go. What would life be like? How would I ever have fun or relax again? All my fears settled down as I saw how free I felt without it. Sharing our feelings here takes some of the anxiety away. I'm so glad you found us.
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