Help!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: London
Posts: 172
This post really reminds me of the stuff I use to do under the Influence of alcohell, I once shut down my ex fiancés brothers sons christening by attacking there cousin and accusing him of having an affair with my partner and then picking up a chair and throwing it. Not my finest moment and the guilt & Shame as you describe was crippling and sucidal thoughts also taunted me.
Now over 2 years sober not once has anything like that happened since. Stay sober and life will get better.
Good luck.
Now over 2 years sober not once has anything like that happened since. Stay sober and life will get better.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
Thanks for sharing Hercules. Yes, alcohell indeed!!! I can’t tell you how empowering it was to wake up clear headed and with a clear conscience. Was still an almighty challenge not to drink last night and I feel a little lost still but I’d take these feelings over shame, guilt, anxiety etc..anyday. Just need to do the real work now. Thank you for your reply. Much appreciated.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
For me it's best to avoid functions as much as possible in early sobriety. No point putting myself under such pressure. It dies get easier and not drinking become normal but not at one week sober. Be kind to yourself ☺
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
If we started a thread called "Have you ever felt shame and guilt?" we would crash this website with posts.
Here's my unsolicited advise Georgie. At least it's what I try to remember beings I have had my share of shame and guilt too. Try to label what you are feeling differently. You are human. You have feelings. Some of them feel pretty awful and if you are anything like me, I don't particularly want those. Not all that long ago I would just drink to shut them up.
It's human to feel bad when we mess up. We are going to mess up even sober. Unfortunately, when we drink we tend to do things we would never do sober so magnify those awful feelings a 1000%. But I think shame isn't very helpful to anyone. It doesn't help me when I mess up and it certainly doesn't help the people I hurt. The only thing I can do that will help with that is to have remorse. Remorse is a whole different feeling to deal with. Remorse means I know I did something hurtful to someone else and myself and I acknowledge it and I am going to do whatever I can to not do it again and also try to make it right.
I wouldn't worry about making it right this very minute. Your old boss and his wife are probably just p.o.'d but chances are they have moved on. You focus on you right now by doing what you have to do to not drink and work on being that person you know you really are.
I'm going through this right now too. I know it's hard but you are moving in the right direction.
xoxo
Here's my unsolicited advise Georgie. At least it's what I try to remember beings I have had my share of shame and guilt too. Try to label what you are feeling differently. You are human. You have feelings. Some of them feel pretty awful and if you are anything like me, I don't particularly want those. Not all that long ago I would just drink to shut them up.
It's human to feel bad when we mess up. We are going to mess up even sober. Unfortunately, when we drink we tend to do things we would never do sober so magnify those awful feelings a 1000%. But I think shame isn't very helpful to anyone. It doesn't help me when I mess up and it certainly doesn't help the people I hurt. The only thing I can do that will help with that is to have remorse. Remorse is a whole different feeling to deal with. Remorse means I know I did something hurtful to someone else and myself and I acknowledge it and I am going to do whatever I can to not do it again and also try to make it right.
I wouldn't worry about making it right this very minute. Your old boss and his wife are probably just p.o.'d but chances are they have moved on. You focus on you right now by doing what you have to do to not drink and work on being that person you know you really are.
I'm going through this right now too. I know it's hard but you are moving in the right direction.
xoxo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 70
Thank you 360...
I agree, I can’t change what happened and can only focus on never letting anything like that happen again. That means not drinking! I know I would never dream of doing, nor wanting to do anything like this sober.
Thanks for taking the time to respond
xxxx
I agree, I can’t change what happened and can only focus on never letting anything like that happen again. That means not drinking! I know I would never dream of doing, nor wanting to do anything like this sober.
Thanks for taking the time to respond
xxxx
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