What is a random act of kindness and are they important ?
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
So important. I particularly try to call people by their names - like the two ladies who are always at the window where I get my morning lemonade.
Sincere compliments when I see something lovely about another person are something I know can make my day, small little "extra" efforts, all that kind of stuff. It's easy to do once you get started and I think it makes us feel more positive and that good cycle continues.
I also got the idea from a friend to write one handwritten note a month to someone in my life. I did it last year and am doing it again. It's fun for me to sort of pick one of the first people that come to mind bc for some reason they are important or ....
Good thread!
Sincere compliments when I see something lovely about another person are something I know can make my day, small little "extra" efforts, all that kind of stuff. It's easy to do once you get started and I think it makes us feel more positive and that good cycle continues.
I also got the idea from a friend to write one handwritten note a month to someone in my life. I did it last year and am doing it again. It's fun for me to sort of pick one of the first people that come to mind bc for some reason they are important or ....
Good thread!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Sure I'll share on this one even though it feels a bit self serving to mention it. For me random acts of kindness (ROK) do not occur that often, but when they do I feel good about myself. So I guess it's the positive self image reinforcement aspect of the behavior that motivates one to do so. I also think ROKs are most powerful when one doesn't go around telling others that I performed a ROK. So nobody knows about this and I had no plans to mention it to anyone until this thread appeared. There's a bible story on this concept (blowing a horn) as some of you will recall.
The most recent ROK that I recall happened at my home group AA meeting a few weeks ago. There is a guy in the group who served time in prison and is now fighting cancer. Single, lives in subsidized housing. Point is he's pretty poor and his life was full of addiction and crime when he was younger. He does not wear any of these problems on his sleeve but over time I learned of his situation from his shares.
Anyway we are back at the coffee pot before a meeting and I hear him talking to another member about not knowing how he's going to get somewhere else after the meeting because another AA member who was going to give him a ride did not show up and he was broke so bus fare was a problem. So I poked my head into his conversation and asked him how much he needed for bus/subway fare. I think he said something like $3. So I pulled out a $5 and handed it to him. Told him to keep it. He started talking about paying me back and I shut that down pretty quick. Told him I appreciated his situation and it was a gift. I think it was a bit difficult for him. But in the end he was OK with it. Now when I see him at meetings he always stops to say hello. I did not mean to "buy" another friend in my AA group but it is what it is and yes I feel good that I was able to help him out.
Edited to add:
August's post reminded me of something else. (Thanks August). When I shop at Costco there are usually free sample food stations around the store. One day I heard two of the sample employees talking between themselves and they were annoyed at the animalistic rude grabby behavior of some of the customers and the general lack of appreciation for their work providing the samples. One of them said they can sometimes go an entire shift and never hear a single thank you from anyone. Such a simple thought/request. Anyway now I make it a point to thank them when I take my free sample. So simple and no cost to me. They generally really appreciate the words. Humm… so perhaps ROKs are easier than I originally thought above.
The most recent ROK that I recall happened at my home group AA meeting a few weeks ago. There is a guy in the group who served time in prison and is now fighting cancer. Single, lives in subsidized housing. Point is he's pretty poor and his life was full of addiction and crime when he was younger. He does not wear any of these problems on his sleeve but over time I learned of his situation from his shares.
Anyway we are back at the coffee pot before a meeting and I hear him talking to another member about not knowing how he's going to get somewhere else after the meeting because another AA member who was going to give him a ride did not show up and he was broke so bus fare was a problem. So I poked my head into his conversation and asked him how much he needed for bus/subway fare. I think he said something like $3. So I pulled out a $5 and handed it to him. Told him to keep it. He started talking about paying me back and I shut that down pretty quick. Told him I appreciated his situation and it was a gift. I think it was a bit difficult for him. But in the end he was OK with it. Now when I see him at meetings he always stops to say hello. I did not mean to "buy" another friend in my AA group but it is what it is and yes I feel good that I was able to help him out.
Edited to add:
August's post reminded me of something else. (Thanks August). When I shop at Costco there are usually free sample food stations around the store. One day I heard two of the sample employees talking between themselves and they were annoyed at the animalistic rude grabby behavior of some of the customers and the general lack of appreciation for their work providing the samples. One of them said they can sometimes go an entire shift and never hear a single thank you from anyone. Such a simple thought/request. Anyway now I make it a point to thank them when I take my free sample. So simple and no cost to me. They generally really appreciate the words. Humm… so perhaps ROKs are easier than I originally thought above.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I had a random act of kindness done for me almost a year ago. A store employee saw me struggling to carry a large pkg and offered to carry it into the store for me. 
I asked her name and she told me, said she had just transferred there from another store.
I went to the manager and praised her. I also sent an email to corporate HQ and told them of her helpfulness. It really made my day and I wanted to let her supervisors know what a good person she is.
Many years ago I wrote a letter to the author Alex Haley. He wrote back to me! And at the bottom of his stationery were the words: FIND THE GOOD AND PRAISE IT. That's been my motto ever since.
I asked her name and she told me, said she had just transferred there from another store.I went to the manager and praised her. I also sent an email to corporate HQ and told them of her helpfulness. It really made my day and I wanted to let her supervisors know what a good person she is.
Many years ago I wrote a letter to the author Alex Haley. He wrote back to me!
And at the bottom of his stationery were the words: FIND THE GOOD AND PRAISE IT. That's been my motto ever since. Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I sometimes carry a few five dollar bills in my wallet and when I see a homeless person, which is often, I give them five dollars.
The disenfranchised whom no one seems to care about. It must be awful.
Many of them are mentally ill or addicted. What they spend it on is their business. I'd like to think it's food, but who knows?
I feel it just shows them that someone cares about them in this small way.
The disenfranchised whom no one seems to care about. It must be awful.
Many of them are mentally ill or addicted. What they spend it on is their business. I'd like to think it's food, but who knows?
I feel it just shows them that someone cares about them in this small way.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Originally Posted by least 
I had a random act of kindness done for me almost a year ago. A store employee saw me struggling to carry a large pkg and offered to carry it into the store for me. I asked her name and she told me, said she had just transferred there from another store.
I went to the manager and praised her. I also sent an email to corporate HQ and told them of her helpfulness. It really made my day and I wanted to let her supervisors know what a good person she is.
Many years ago I wrote a letter to the author Alex Haley. He wrote back to me! And at the bottom of his stationery were the words: FIND THE GOOD AND PRAISE IT. That's been my motto ever since.
I asked her name and she told me, said she had just transferred there from another store.I went to the manager and praised her. I also sent an email to corporate HQ and told them of her helpfulness. It really made my day and I wanted to let her supervisors know what a good person she is.
Many years ago I wrote a letter to the author Alex Haley. He wrote back to me!
And at the bottom of his stationery were the words: FIND THE GOOD AND PRAISE IT. That's been my motto ever since. Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Random acts of kindness are important because they make other people feel good.
They are important for us to do because it takes the focus out of our own heads and puts it on to spreading kindness for others.
Random acts of kindness have a positive ripple affect. "Be the change you wish to see in the world".
They are important for us to do because it takes the focus out of our own heads and puts it on to spreading kindness for others.
Random acts of kindness have a positive ripple affect. "Be the change you wish to see in the world".
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