Robbie64

A quick question to SR posters who have a long period of sobriety under the belts. How do you deal with boredom? I have a list of things I need to do but I'm at that two week stage where I've been off drinking longh enough that I now feel healthy, at least physically, but I just have no get up and go about me and can't be bothered to do anything.

I've got no intention of drinking so that part isn't an issue but I just keep thinking that all my drinking friends are going to be in the local pub while I'm stuck at home with no motivation to do anything and the day just seems to be dragging by. It's only 3.15pm here in the UK and I've only been up for 6 and a half hours but the day has just dragged. It doesn't help that my knee is swollen after I twisted it the other day (unbelievably, while out on a walk which was supposedly meant to make me feel healthier!) so I can't go for a walk today as it is too sore.

I can't watch movies (I've never been a movies fan, I lose interest after about half an hour), I'm stuck on my own (I'm single) and unfortunately all my friends are heavy drinkers so sitting with them in a pub drinking orange or coke isn't something that I'd do by choice. After an hour I just want to get back home as the conversation is largely just drunken talk. And my biggest problem when I've given up drinking in the past is getting through a Saturday afternoon and evening. Since I could legally drink at 18, back in the early 80s, Saturday more than any other day / night has been a day when I would drink so it's the one night (along with a Friday to a certain extent) that I associate with going out and drinking.

How do other SR posters deal with boredom? It's surely one of the main enemies of sobriety. I mean I know that being bored affects everyone, sober or not, but in the early days of sobriety it's definitely not a welcome thing.

tekink

I play video games more when I'm bored but that's not for everyone. Do you have any hobbies/activities at all that you enjoy doing that you can sink time into?

Doris47

100% get where your coming from, I'm 18days in an the boredom is a killer man 🙏💖

Purplrks3647

Lol about losing interest trying to watch movies....I'm the same way!

I've been following Annie Grace's "The Alcohol Experiment" which is a 30 day alcohol free challenge done online....boredom is one of the topics and there's an Albert Einstein quote "Boredom leads to creativity" ~ so I try to remember that.

Hope your knee feels better soon...exercise does help whether we like it or not

Ghostlight1

I get bored quite a bit. But I'd much rather be bored than drunk.
I watch the news. There's always something on tv.
I love listening to music and can for hours.
I clean the place.
There's lots to do, or don't do anything and be glad you have the free, sober, time to just enjoy yourself not hungover or drinking.
There's always something to do, you just have to find it.

Robbie64

I love sport (both playing and watching) but can't seem to concentrate enough to watch anything and am getting no enjoyment out of what I've been watching today. I love walking but at the moment that's a no-no.

I love listening to music and being on my computer so have been doing both a lot today but I'm starting to get a bit bored with those as well!

Unfortunately I have a low boredom threshold and have always had issues with concentrating on doing anything for any length of time. In the past drinking used to fill the gaps but I know it's not the answer. I just need to find something that interests me enough to help fill in the time - I always have an urge to have to be actively doing something which makes it hard to unwind and to relax.

HeadEast

I'm at 22 days and suffering the same thing!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a hard time getting through a movie.

ReadyAtLast

I'm on day 27 and feel similar. It does get better though. Things really do improve. I am reading lots of books and staying on SR

doggonecarl

Recognize it for what it is.

Boredom is sitting in the department of motor vehicles for 6 hrs with nothing to do but wait. I think what a newly sober person feels on a day they normally drink is discontent. Your addiction is discontent with sobriety, and your mind applies the label of 'boredom' to it.

Find something to do. It doesn't matter that you aren't motivated. Do something, anything, and you will likely get caught up in it. If you dwell on being bored, you are going to think about drinking and feeling left out and you don't want to go there.

CRRHCC

Boredom is common. When I feel bored, I feel helpless, trapped, powerless and lacking control. That is when I use to want a quick fix or mood changer of substances to regain control of my feelings and remove the boredom. I have learned that the trick is to replace my boredom (helplessness) with high value behaviors such as exercise, music, prayer, reading, writing, etc. If you can accomplish this, you have escaped the trap of boredom, you have regained control by empowering yourself, regained control, with purpose you value. All, easier said than done but it starts by writing down what you really value in life. Try this exercise: Write down what you would want said at your own eulogy. What you would hope others would say at your eulogy that describes you?
This exercise might help you find what you really value in life and you may even find you are closer than you think to being the valuable person that you are!

Delilah1

I have three kids, so they definitely keep me busy.

I have found going for walks every day outdoors is a good way to clear my head and put myself in a good mindset.

You could look into a community college class, or possibly joining a walking group, bowling team, adventure group. Do you go to the gym? Is there something you've always wanted to learn? Think about being a tourist in your own city, foto parks, museums, historical places.

Two weeks is still very early in sobriety, so give yourself some time. You're very smart to avoid pubs.

What are your plans for today?

johnnyt53

Forcing myself to do something challenging for hard helps me. I have heard that Einstein quote also but it went something like "Boredom is the springboard to creativity." I have a guitar that I noodle around with and find that it is a creative process also. Learning a musical instrument may be an idea or acquiring a new skill at something.

Canuck76

I certainly relate. Boredom is a huge trigger for me. All my serious attempts at sobriety the past decade were probably ruined by sheer boredom. I suffer from ADHD so I am constantly seeking some sort of stimulating activity. Because I get bored so easily, hobbies and activities go by the wayside quickly once the novelty wears off. Same thing happens with jobs and relationships. There is one thing that I never get bored with: drinking. Despite all the problems alcohol has caused, nothing is more enjoyable than drinking. I don't even need company. I enjoy drinking alone just as much.

Evoo

When I was drinking every day and then quit — I experienced much of what you are now.

I realize now that it wasn’t “boredom,” necessary. It was a mixture of FOMO and withdrawal. I wanted to drink.

But even when I finally didn’t I slowly started filling the time with fitness, reading/study, cooking, photography, museums/traveling — an entire range of things I had never considered doing before (or would’ve only done properly pre-gamed).

Or — you could just allow yourself to be bored for awhile. It’s actually a good thing, and something that I think we as a culture need to let our kids feel, too:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/02/o...ren-bored.html

Right now I have a newborn so I don’t have the luxury of boredom . Good luck — let us know what you decide to do!

August252015

Good question....and my first observation is that a number of y'all have posted you are under 30 days sober.

At first, I did not know what to do with myself - and that takes more than a minute to fade, change, adapt etc.

Doing things I "didn't like" to take up time simply had to happen. Whatever distracts you for 2 min or 2 hours or all day is enough if it keeps you sober - plenty of accomplishment for one day!

I made short to do lists - as in, eat twice, walk the dog, do laundry. It was weird to accept but that had to be "enough" in my very early days.

I did some coloring books, I watched Netflix etc, I napped (a lot!), I read memoirs and recovery books and online articles (GOOD ONES) bc my attention span was short like you all describe.

This stuff gets better than it feels at first, which can be intense. I also had to get past that discomfort in my own skin feeling. Now, at almost 3 yrs, I identify that stuff as "restlessness" in the AA sense - my program - and handle it better.

The only solution is to stay sober, keep going and do your best to remember that no matter how much time crawls, it will keep going. Promise that!

D122y

Robb,

I work out when I have time and am not too tired.

The energy from not drinking changed my world.

I am starting to see good muscle shapes and feel foundation strength li,e when I was in my early twenties.

In time my boredom has turned into serenity. It took over a year to start to see longish times in this state.

I get loads of endorphins, natural good addictive opiates, from working out.

I got these from day 1 working out. It took me pushing myself to uncomfortable levels during the work out.

Thanks.

NAP

Some ideas:

- There's lots of courses online that are very good, even online universities.
- How about a local meetup group?
- have you ever wanted to play an instrument?
- Are there local classes you can take that get you out of your house once a week?
- There's lots of podcasts out there that are super interesting, including sobriety ones.
- Clean out your closets
- Scan/digitize old photos
- Clean your house while listening to an inspiring podcast
- Make your own music with garage player?
- Start online selling & look into making a passive income?
- If you're in AA maybe start your own group at your house so you can make an evening out of it?
- Write/blog/online forums?
- volunteer somewhere...

NAP

Also try radio.garden online, it is very cool if you wanna kill an hour or so!

Robbie64

Thanks for all the advice. Some good ideas to take on board. Bizarrely my boredom started to lift once it got dark and I closed the curtains. I think it's because it's been such a nice spring-like day and I've been stuck inside the house. Now it's night time I've relaxed up and time feels like it's passing much quicker because I'm not clock watching!

PurpleKnight

It's only been 2 weeks . . . I wasn't jumping out of bed and seizing the day after only a few weeks, I hadn't the energy, I hadn't the motivation, and I just wanted to crawl into bed or play online puzzles, after I returned from work completely drained.

That get up and go will come but it's still early . . . the body is still adjusting physically, mentally and emotionally . . . it will come, but it's going to take time.

Hang in there!!