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Health anxiety is putting a damper on my sobriety!!

Old 02-14-2019, 04:15 PM
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Health anxiety is putting a damper on my sobriety!!

Im at 9 months sober and wish I could be happier, but I’m terrified that I have ruined my liver and doomed to die! Never worried about my liver so much while drinking🙄. I was a binge drinker for 14 years, I had period of abstinence for my 2 pregnancies and usually drank on weekends, or maybe twice a week. I would regularly have “sober days” over the years and classified myself as a “heavy party drinker”. The last 1.5 years of my drinking I was binging 3, sometimes 4 days a week😔. And I could drink a couple of bottles of wine. I am mortified with myself and am worried that I was too late at quitting at age 35. I have no desire to drink and know I need a check up once my insurance kicks in, but I’m constantly worried I pushed it too late. I know nobody can give health advice, but maybe some encouraging words? I’m not yellow and don’t have “liver pains” or anything, but I do get concerned because I drank so much. I know my health can only improve, my blood pressure is perfect and I’ve lost 20 pounds since getting sober, but it keeps me up at night worrying about dying and leaving my young boys without their Mother😔. Please, any uplifting words would be welcome right now.
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Old 02-14-2019, 04:27 PM
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Your sobriety is first and foremost the most important health decision you can make, so youre on the right path, both physically and mentally.

While I am not a doctor, I will share with you what my doctor said to me : The human body is a miracle within a miracle, and while we can stress out about a million things that can go wrong, our body was designed to survive very harsh environments, and as a result is incredibly resilient and self healing.

In other words, if you give your body a chance, it will do what is necessary to heal. You're doing that, congrats on 9 months.
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Old 02-14-2019, 04:32 PM
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You would probably know if you had damaged your liver in a permanent way. 9 months sober and no complications so far? I am not a doctor but I would bet that you are perfectly fine.
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Old 02-14-2019, 04:34 PM
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You could see your doctor and have tests run. That might allay your fears. I was afraid I had done permanent damage, but all my tests came back fine.
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Old 02-14-2019, 04:34 PM
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Congrats on 9 months... I was also very heavy drinker daily for years and I know excalty what u are talking about with anxiety. I had Dr tell me years ago need to quit or otherwise would have problems but I kept drinking. Few years later got sober and was anxious but got health fair done at work and it was all ok. Don’t get stressed out and ruin sobriety worrying about things we can’t change, they say our bodies heal themselves after we quit. 😊
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Old 02-14-2019, 04:35 PM
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I feel for you. I didn't care about my health for my whole thirty + years of drinking, and I drank way more than you.
I escaped pretty much unscathed. Liver enzymes were high, that was it.
Although I did go to the emergency room twice because of right flank pain. That's about as serious as it got. Turned to be a little too much for a little too long. No big deal.

Put your mind at rest. If you have harmed yourself by drinking, I think it would show by now.
Remember, I drank much more than you for much longer and am now the epitome of health. Sort of, anyway for things unrelated to drinking.
Best to you. And try not to worry too much!
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Old 02-14-2019, 04:53 PM
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I love you all!!! Really love the support and encouragement from SR!! I would be so lost without this site!! I know I need to see a Doc, but your stories of recovery and healing inspire me and heal my soul every day.
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Old 02-14-2019, 05:31 PM
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I knew a guy that drank a 24 of beer and a 750ml of whiskey every day and even had a bottle under his bed he would take huge gulps of just to get out of bed. He bought so much booze he won a several "best customer" T-shirts from his liquor store. He got sober sometime in his 50's and didn't have liver damage or at least none he ever told me about. Talk to your doctor if you are concerned.
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Old 02-14-2019, 05:34 PM
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That's sweet of you!
Yes, if you're worried, I would see a doc. Just to allay your fears.
I was worried about my health, too. I went to the doctor and was honest. Ran tests and like I said, nothing serious.
I'm glad you're here and I hate to see you so worried.
My thoughts are with you.
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Old 02-15-2019, 03:03 AM
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You are not the first to think "now that I am sober, I am going to die." In all likelihood you are fine. Since there are no symptoms an anything awry, it would be normal just to wait till you can next get a workup. Focus on physically and mentally healthy pursuits and enjoy life.
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Old 02-15-2019, 10:24 AM
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Originally Posted by AmbyMarie View Post
[left]Im at 9 months sober and wish I could be happier, but I’m terrified that I have ruined my liver and doomed to die!
Ah, health anxiety.

I can really sympathize with this. I actually did have liver pains (and back pain) while in the throws of my addiction -- I aggressively avoided seeing a doctor while I was drinking for fear of what they would tell me.

Unfortunately I was also ignoring symptoms of active and undiagnosed Crohn's disease and UC (I chalked up all the symptoms to alcohol abuse) and ended up in the hospital for a week...

Here's what I do know. Health anxiety can be paralyzing and it was the #1 weapon of my AV to get me to "drink off" that anxiety and push it down.

But when you really think about it, that makes no sense . If you see a doctor, tell them you're trying to quit drinking and want to live a sober life -- but would like a workup for peace of mind -- they will help you get on track.

And you'll be able to silence some of that health anxiety. If it continues -- a counselor can help as well.

Totally can relate, though. Glad you posted about it!

Edit: Oh, btw, even with those pains I had a recent workup and ultrasound of my stomach -- my liver and all internal organs were 100 percent normal. Same with blood pressure, nervous system, etc. -- and I'm in Crohns remission. Your body is resilient, but you've got to cut off the poison and take the step of getting well .
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Old 02-15-2019, 10:45 AM
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Blood pressure is a big "tell". If your BP is perfect, your liver is most likely in good shape. Liver damage almost always causes hypertension. My symptoms/signs started with high BP, then I started having liver pain, then I started bloating and shortness of breath almost all the time, then started getting itchy, then I got yellow (pale skin at first, then it tinted yellow, yellow spotting in eyes followed), and then severe ascites in the abdominal region.

All that nonsense was gone by the time I left the hospital. Now I've slimmed down, liver never hurts, I can run miles without being out of breath, skin is natural/healthy/tan, no itching, eyes are clear/white, and BP is 124/78....(it was 190/130) at one point.
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Old 02-15-2019, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted by WhoDeyPI View Post
Blood pressure is a big "tell". If your BP is perfect, your liver is most likely in good shape. Liver damage almost always causes hypertension. My symptoms/signs started with high BP, then I started having liver pain, then I started bloating and shortness of breath almost all the time, then started getting itchy, then I got yellow (pale skin at first, then it tinted yellow, yellow spotting in eyes followed), and then severe ascites in the abdominal region.

All that nonsense was gone by the time I left the hospital. Now I've slimmed down, liver never hurts, I can run miles without being out of breath, skin is natural/healthy/tan, no itching, eyes are clear/white, and BP is 124/78....(it was 190/130) at one point.
I love to hear this!! It really is amazing how everything gets better once the poisoning stops!! Continue on with the healthy lifestyle and never lose hope, things can only go up! I think about you a lot, you inspire me💖
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