19 Days and Slipped...I blame me not being on here this week for support
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,424
Originally Posted by Chaz22 
Yea I know. It's more the lying and trust part. I've learned in 21 days of being on here that most folks to include myself don't really understand alcoholism as a disease.
So you just come across to them especially to your love ones as a liar. That's the hardest part. I merely became complacent in my pro-activeness and with in a split non-premeditated fault slip-up.
It's crazy thru it all you never think about others it affects. In fact you don't even think at all until after drink it. Then in my case I lied about it. Was asked to come clean, did knowing the outcome would be terrible.
Do spouses ever accompany to AA? I just feel like the more we are both educated to more we can opening communicate it. I can be seen as fighting an illness that far harder than thought versus as a person that is perceived as selfish and putting alcohol first above my family.
So you just come across to them especially to your love ones as a liar. That's the hardest part. I merely became complacent in my pro-activeness and with in a split non-premeditated fault slip-up.
It's crazy thru it all you never think about others it affects. In fact you don't even think at all until after drink it. Then in my case I lied about it. Was asked to come clean, did knowing the outcome would be terrible.
Do spouses ever accompany to AA? I just feel like the more we are both educated to more we can opening communicate it. I can be seen as fighting an illness that far harder than thought versus as a person that is perceived as selfish and putting alcohol first above my family.
Your addiction is neither excuse nor reason that changes that truth.
You can do better and I think you can rebuild trust with her if you are first honest with yourself.
Also, the word slip implies an accident.
Going to the bar and ordering then drinking a drink is simply a relapse.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
I'm only on Day 46 but I can share my thoughts on this.
In my own recovery, I am learning to identify triggering situations that made me want to drink in the past. Examples could be coming home from the train station late at night, walking past the pub on the way home from work, having an afternoon off, coming home from swimming, celebrating an achievement etc. etc.
I am learning one by one what these triggers are / were and am planning in advance how to behave differently when they arise.
My guess is that it's not the first time you've been to this movie theatre bar so it maybe an old learned behaviour? Add this to the list of triggers you want to avoid. It's all part of the cycle of change in the early days. If you do slip, improve your plan and try again. Don't beat yourself up about it so much that a lapse becomes a relapse.
In my own recovery, I am learning to identify triggering situations that made me want to drink in the past. Examples could be coming home from the train station late at night, walking past the pub on the way home from work, having an afternoon off, coming home from swimming, celebrating an achievement etc. etc.
I am learning one by one what these triggers are / were and am planning in advance how to behave differently when they arise.
My guess is that it's not the first time you've been to this movie theatre bar so it maybe an old learned behaviour? Add this to the list of triggers you want to avoid. It's all part of the cycle of change in the early days. If you do slip, improve your plan and try again. Don't beat yourself up about it so much that a lapse becomes a relapse.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
If you can't do this on your own, or with SR, then perhaps AA is worth considering.
Your first post was after a relapse...a series of relapses, actually. In that post, as a rationale, you wrote:
Is that still the case. Do you doubt the power of addiction?
Your first post was after a relapse...a series of relapses, actually. In that post, as a rationale, you wrote:
Is that still the case. Do you doubt the power of addiction?
To add my very short $0.02 - you didn't slip. You drank. You chose that. I am not being harsh - I think it is crucial to accept that it is always a decision. Especially when someone keeps "slipping."
I echo the questions above - what are you going to do differently?
We can give you all the suggestions in the world, but it is solely up to you to make a choice to stop and stay stopped.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
There are open AA meetings Alanon also which your wife can go to. In my case there was No Trust in the beginning of my sobriety why would there be. I made so many empty promises they were just words nothing more.
My actions regained the trust in my household, I started to attend AA meetings regularly, started working the program which you will find out about. Made a plan for myself recognizing whether I was head to or away from a drink..
I do not expect praise and accolades from my wife and kids I do get them and they make feel a little uncomfortable guess I have to work on that.
Stop thinking so much you’re an alcoholic that’s why you drink . Stop and stay stopped then you could think all you want.
My actions regained the trust in my household, I started to attend AA meetings regularly, started working the program which you will find out about. Made a plan for myself recognizing whether I was head to or away from a drink..
I do not expect praise and accolades from my wife and kids I do get them and they make feel a little uncomfortable guess I have to work on that.
Stop thinking so much you’re an alcoholic that’s why you drink . Stop and stay stopped then you could think all you want.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
