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Old 02-13-2019, 06:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
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'But sometimes a more comprehensive failure occurs...


... A collapse of meanings on that scale was described by Austrian playwright and librettist Hugo von Hofmannstal in a 1902 story translated as "The Letter of Lord Chandos". Masquerading as a genuine letter written in 1603 by an English aristocrat, it evokes Hofmannstal's own experiences during a breakdown in which the whole structure of things and people around him fell to bits. Everyday items suddenly look to Chandos like things seen too closely through a magnifying glass, impossible to identify. He hears people gossiping about local characters and friends, but can make no coherent narrative out of what they are saying. Unable to work or look after his estate, Chandos finds himself staring for hours at a moss-covered stone, or a dog lying in the sun, or a harrow left abandoned in a field. The connections have gone. No wonder we call an experience like this a breakdown. It may sound familiar to anyone who has suffered depression, and it can also occur in various neurological disorders. For Heidegger, it would be an extreme case of the collapse of everyday Being-in-the-world, a collapse that makes everything obtrusive, disarticulated, and impossible to negotiate with our usual blithe disregard.'

- Bakewell, S. (2016: 70)

This is where I'm at, basically
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Whole lot of words that say nothing to me besides "man does this guy need to do some work" Navel gaze away, but the better life is in the work.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:18 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I've felt like that too at times Tetrax.

What I see, from this perspective, is my drinking was holding me in that kind of existential malaise or what some might call 'analysis paralysis'.

I learned the experience was not intrinsic to me - but imposed upon me by my choices and specifically my choice to continue to drink.

Getting sober and staying that way got me out.

I temporarily broke my mind, but then I made it better again,

I really believe you can get out too, man

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Old 02-13-2019, 08:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Whole lot of words that say nothing to me besides "man does this guy need to do some work" Navel gaze away, but the better life is in the work.
Thanks for the positivity. I'm glad your program works for you but no need to be condescending to the rest of us (looking also at your posts replying to say, Highercall...)
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Tetrax: I'm sorry that you see your life in the mental disintegration described in the quote. Were you a regular drinker? Does alcohol have something to do with the ontological shattering that you're experiencing?

Anyway, I'm glad that you're posting.
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:46 PM   #6 (permalink)
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use the ignore function guys,
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Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
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Old 02-13-2019, 09:43 PM   #7 (permalink)
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That's an interesting selection, Tetrax, and it brought to my mind various works that I have read by writers that are studied in literature for the suffering that their protagonists face.

I empathize with your feelings, for I have known them, and there is solace and beauty to be found in others that help us to articulate that.

Sometimes all I wanted in such states was for somebody to recognize that I was "out of order" with myself and with the Universe. I didn't want to hear what others would do in my place, only that they should know that I was trying to live as best as I could given my distress. I only found frustration in hearing what somebody told me what I should do or how they pulled out of a bad situation that they felt analogous to their own. It is a very hard place to be, and I acknowledge your pain.

Depression is hard to shake, even with medical intervention and therapy, and there are many here who know what you are going through, and maybe, for a moment, you just needed to feel that and nothing more.

I hope that in some (shorter) period of time that you will feel stronger.
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Old 02-14-2019, 04:41 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Thanks for the positivity. I'm glad your program works for you but no need to be condescending to the rest of us (looking also at your posts replying to say, Highercall...)
I've been here a while, struggled, suffered, drank. Sometimes the most direct words were both the hardest to hear and the most impactful to me. I appoologize if I offended. Sobriety is all I wish for you and everyone else here.
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Old 02-14-2019, 05:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I've been here a while, struggled, suffered, drank. Sometimes the most direct words were both the hardest to hear and the most impactful to me. I appoologize if I offended. Sobriety is all I wish for you and everyone else here.
Thanks for that. I admit the most direct words are the hardest to hear but probably the best to listen to. I was mostly not in a good place to listen, and to criticize, yesterday. So sorry for that myself. Peace.
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Old 02-14-2019, 07:01 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Thanks for that. I admit the most direct words are the hardest to hear but probably the best to listen to. I was mostly not in a good place to listen, and to criticize, yesterday. So sorry for that myself. Peace.
No need to apologize man. I've been there many a time. Only thing is finding a way out of the muck, into the sun and a better life.
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Old 02-15-2019, 11:42 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I certainly relate to that feeling of being disconnected. I am lost and have been for years. Alcoholism is just one of my issues but it is the obstacle I need to eliminate first. Any progress I make can be destroyed in a moment by having that first drink. Just taking things one day at a time.
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