i have a bottle
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 9
i have a bottle
I have 1 year and 3 months sober but the desire to stop the repetitive and painful thinking in my head caused me to pick up a bottle just in case.
I know that my disease wants me to drink, and is using 1001 excuses to get me to do so
I think the main cause of me wanting to drink is stress over life. I am 23 and I am unsure about my direction in life
I have a sponsor and im not f'ing calling him because i want to drink and i know he'll tell me to pour it out... but at the same time there the bottle sits, unopened. i am afraid to drink because i know how destructive an influence it was before in my life. damn.
i have the desire to be honest open minded and willing rite now but i want some kind of relief!!!! i want true friends and not fake ones and to feel connected with other people. i struggle with this.
here Iam reaching out.. I am struggling guys!! I am looking for relief from this abusive mind I live with!
I know that my disease wants me to drink, and is using 1001 excuses to get me to do so
I think the main cause of me wanting to drink is stress over life. I am 23 and I am unsure about my direction in life
I have a sponsor and im not f'ing calling him because i want to drink and i know he'll tell me to pour it out... but at the same time there the bottle sits, unopened. i am afraid to drink because i know how destructive an influence it was before in my life. damn.
i have the desire to be honest open minded and willing rite now but i want some kind of relief!!!! i want true friends and not fake ones and to feel connected with other people. i struggle with this.
here Iam reaching out.. I am struggling guys!! I am looking for relief from this abusive mind I live with!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Well you reached out here so even if you are not calling your sponsor you are looking for some support.... so why give up over a year of sobriety?
We can't make you do anything. But I will say that nobody ever woke up sober and regretted not drinking the day before.
We can't make you do anything. But I will say that nobody ever woke up sober and regretted not drinking the day before.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by AAPJ 
Well you reached out here so even if you are not calling your sponsor you are looking for some support.... so why give up over a year of sobriety?
We can't make you do anything. But I will say that nobody ever woke up sober and regretted not drinking the day before.
We can't make you do anything. But I will say that nobody ever woke up sober and regretted not drinking the day before.
the reason why is i just feel so bad today. mentally, my emotions are just ones of hopelessness.
i know in the past ive felt extreme gratitude and grace, but not today
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I hear you about it being difficult to connect with real people.
But think of it this way, the first friend you need to make is to become friends with yourself first and foremost. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Currently you are torturing and taunting yourself, holding onto a bottle in the house knowing all that it brings with it. What kind of "real true friend" does that to someone? You are worthy of friendship and love and peace, but you have to start by showing yourself that kindness and respect, give yourself a break.
Until you make that hard decision that alcohol is not the answer to any of lifes questions you'll leave the door open for it, and it's currently got it's foot in the doorway stopping you from closing it. Throw the bottle, I know that is not what you want to hear but it's what you need to do, you know that, you need to shut the door.
xx
But think of it this way, the first friend you need to make is to become friends with yourself first and foremost. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Currently you are torturing and taunting yourself, holding onto a bottle in the house knowing all that it brings with it. What kind of "real true friend" does that to someone? You are worthy of friendship and love and peace, but you have to start by showing yourself that kindness and respect, give yourself a break.
Until you make that hard decision that alcohol is not the answer to any of lifes questions you'll leave the door open for it, and it's currently got it's foot in the doorway stopping you from closing it. Throw the bottle, I know that is not what you want to hear but it's what you need to do, you know that, you need to shut the door.
xx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Hi diggitydog
Exercise gets rid of my mind chatter - it needs a hell of a lot more effort than lifting a bottle to my lips - but it really works as opposed to just pushing the thoughts to one side for a while.
I put together a list of more links than any one person could use on relief and respite.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html
Drinking obviously never worked for you or you'd not have a year plus sober. Try some other things
D
Exercise gets rid of my mind chatter - it needs a hell of a lot more effort than lifting a bottle to my lips - but it really works as opposed to just pushing the thoughts to one side for a while.
I put together a list of more links than any one person could use on relief and respite.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html
Drinking obviously never worked for you or you'd not have a year plus sober. Try some other things
D
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
No amount of thinking will change how your feeling, only action can do that. Thinking keeps you drinking!!
I used to get overwhelmed with negative thoughts, lack of direction and a heavy burden of hopelessness. I got my trainers on, put on some angry music on my headphones and walked...and walked and walked! I walked with anger, determination, with purpose...the purpose being to fight those thoughts and not let them win. It was really effective for me as eventually I got tired, I wore myself out and the thoughts slowed down, it also helps reduce cortisol levels which rise when your stressed and angry. xx
I used to get overwhelmed with negative thoughts, lack of direction and a heavy burden of hopelessness. I got my trainers on, put on some angry music on my headphones and walked...and walked and walked! I walked with anger, determination, with purpose...the purpose being to fight those thoughts and not let them win. It was really effective for me as eventually I got tired, I wore myself out and the thoughts slowed down, it also helps reduce cortisol levels which rise when your stressed and angry. xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
1 year and 3 months sober is an amazing achievement
for any person that is an alcoholic living a life with a
continuous program of recovery incorporated in their
life on a continuous bases.
For many of us including yourself, we couldn't have
achieved this success if we picked up a drink of
poison and drank it. In taking a drink it would have
put us right back where we left off. Right back into
the insanity of it. On that rollercoaster of madness.
I often heard that once we have had a taste of
recovery/sobriety, that it definitely screws up
our drinking and that it will never be the same.
I am pretty sure you know what to do with
that bottle, right? Throw it away. There is no
amount of poison that could or would make
any situation in life better with it.
Im pretty sure you know exactly what you
need to do with or without your sponsor. Right?
For me, I knew I wanted and needed to remain
sober no matter what and I had to be responsibe
for it. No one was gonna come to my rescue or do
the footwork in recovery for me. To take it one
day at a time going to meetings.
To listen, learn, absorb and apply the guidelines
or steps of a recovery program to help achieve
the promises as written for us in the big book
or blue book of AA.
When not at a meeting, I have come to use SR
to stay connected to my recovery like a lifeline.
To pass on what was taught to me in the beginning
and continue to learn new ways to become the
best sober person I can possibly be in life and
others.
No, it is not always easy. So when it is tough,
we dig deeper and harder to get what is needed
for us to strengthen the foundation of our recovery
we work hard to build and live upon each day
we remain sober.
I sat behind a many a folks in meeting and
listened intentively to what they had say
and took what I learned from them and applied
it to my own life and situations.
Many had no idea how much they had and
still help me today some 28yrs sober. Folks
in here, SR continue to help me more than
they realize and for that I am truly grateful.
Im sending you support as you continue
on your journey and hope that you reach
for strength to remain sober no matter
what life throws at you.
We are here for you and all you have to
do is ask for suggestions and guidance along
the way. Stay strong, positive and most of
all sober.
for any person that is an alcoholic living a life with a
continuous program of recovery incorporated in their
life on a continuous bases.
For many of us including yourself, we couldn't have
achieved this success if we picked up a drink of
poison and drank it. In taking a drink it would have
put us right back where we left off. Right back into
the insanity of it. On that rollercoaster of madness.
I often heard that once we have had a taste of
recovery/sobriety, that it definitely screws up
our drinking and that it will never be the same.
I am pretty sure you know what to do with
that bottle, right? Throw it away. There is no
amount of poison that could or would make
any situation in life better with it.
Im pretty sure you know exactly what you
need to do with or without your sponsor. Right?
For me, I knew I wanted and needed to remain
sober no matter what and I had to be responsibe
for it. No one was gonna come to my rescue or do
the footwork in recovery for me. To take it one
day at a time going to meetings.
To listen, learn, absorb and apply the guidelines
or steps of a recovery program to help achieve
the promises as written for us in the big book
or blue book of AA.
When not at a meeting, I have come to use SR
to stay connected to my recovery like a lifeline.
To pass on what was taught to me in the beginning
and continue to learn new ways to become the
best sober person I can possibly be in life and
others.
No, it is not always easy. So when it is tough,
we dig deeper and harder to get what is needed
for us to strengthen the foundation of our recovery
we work hard to build and live upon each day
we remain sober.
I sat behind a many a folks in meeting and
listened intentively to what they had say
and took what I learned from them and applied
it to my own life and situations.
Many had no idea how much they had and
still help me today some 28yrs sober. Folks
in here, SR continue to help me more than
they realize and for that I am truly grateful.
Im sending you support as you continue
on your journey and hope that you reach
for strength to remain sober no matter
what life throws at you.
We are here for you and all you have to
do is ask for suggestions and guidance along
the way. Stay strong, positive and most of
all sober.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Dig,
When it became clear that me and every other addict has irreversible but stoppable brain damage I had a chance.
The crave is for life. Giving into it only strengthens it. I can stop the damage.
To not drink these days is 10x easier than at 1 year. The crave was still strong.
This place keeps me sober.
Hope this helps you.
Thanks for the therapy.
When it became clear that me and every other addict has irreversible but stoppable brain damage I had a chance.
The crave is for life. Giving into it only strengthens it. I can stop the damage.
To not drink these days is 10x easier than at 1 year. The crave was still strong.
This place keeps me sober.
Hope this helps you.
Thanks for the therapy.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 177
Drinking will not end the endless loom of chatter in your mind , in fact it will make it a 1001 times worse !!!! Akin to pouring petrol on a fire. You v done ridiculously good to get this far , I really hope you can find something else to distract you from drinking, you ll be so much happier tomorrow. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 205
Think through the drink. How will you feel after you have consumed the bottle?Remember why you quit drinking one year and three months ago. Go to a meeting. Ask for help at the meeting or just talk about what you are feeling. Just don't drink today. And pour out the bottle.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Go exercise, help another alcoholic, call you sponsor even though you don’t want to, cry, eat, scream into a pillow.
You will never regret not drinking. Remember if you don’t drink these feelings will pass 💕
You will never regret not drinking. Remember if you don’t drink these feelings will pass 💕
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I hope you HAVE thrown it out.
More importantly, I wonder what you are doing besides not drinking? Every day isn't great - but you know by now that drinking isn't the answer. IME, however, toughing it out or not finding and using all the support possible (from SR to IRL programs like my choice, AA) a) doesn't have to be the way you live and b) very likely won't get you thru every bad day that ever comes up.
That second proposition alone makes me want to get all the help I can.
What are you going to do? Up to you - glad you are here.
More importantly, I wonder what you are doing besides not drinking? Every day isn't great - but you know by now that drinking isn't the answer. IME, however, toughing it out or not finding and using all the support possible (from SR to IRL programs like my choice, AA) a) doesn't have to be the way you live and b) very likely won't get you thru every bad day that ever comes up.
That second proposition alone makes me want to get all the help I can.
What are you going to do? Up to you - glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
Hey —
Play the tape to the end.
If you take a drink, will you take another? Will you finish the bottle? Will you need another bottle?
What about tomorrow? How will you feel? What will you do?
Are there other things you can do instead? The gym, a video game, cooking — what hobby could help?
Good luck and let us know how you do. You can do it.
Play the tape to the end.
If you take a drink, will you take another? Will you finish the bottle? Will you need another bottle?
What about tomorrow? How will you feel? What will you do?
Are there other things you can do instead? The gym, a video game, cooking — what hobby could help?
Good luck and let us know how you do. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 38
I was in this EXACT spot about a month ago. I was thinking : sobriety isn't really worth it, I feel alone in sobriety, I had more friends when I was drinking.
It's only recently that I realized that alcohol actually doesn't solve any of that.
If you're introverted or a bit socially awkward like me, it's going to take some extra work to connect with people. Alcohol takes away our ability to connect; it doesn't add to it. It's an illusion. But I know that putting in the extra effort will be SO worth it.
I lived for years thinking that alcohol solved my problems. It actually added to them. Took me so long to see this.
It's only recently that I realized that alcohol actually doesn't solve any of that.
If you're introverted or a bit socially awkward like me, it's going to take some extra work to connect with people. Alcohol takes away our ability to connect; it doesn't add to it. It's an illusion. But I know that putting in the extra effort will be SO worth it.
I lived for years thinking that alcohol solved my problems. It actually added to them. Took me so long to see this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
"there has to be a way" is a little mind hack I find helpful when I'm feeling overwhelmed and hopeless about something.
If you're anything like me, I start shutting down and find reasons why things won't work.
For example "this is hopeless. I want to stay sober but the urges are overwhelming. I'm just going to drink again so I should just start now and get it over with.
Telling yourself "there has to be a way to get through this" allows you to be OK with not knowing, meanwhile it activates your brain to start thinking about things that might actually work, as opposed to things that do not.
I've found this helpful for anything in life, but definitely in a case like this.
If you're anything like me, I start shutting down and find reasons why things won't work.
For example "this is hopeless. I want to stay sober but the urges are overwhelming. I'm just going to drink again so I should just start now and get it over with.
Telling yourself "there has to be a way to get through this" allows you to be OK with not knowing, meanwhile it activates your brain to start thinking about things that might actually work, as opposed to things that do not.
I've found this helpful for anything in life, but definitely in a case like this.
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