Addy47

Today is day 7 sober and my depression is soooo bad. I’m literally “stuck” in a black hole & all I want to do is sleep and/or isolate. I don’t normally have depression but have had it pretty bad from drinking recently. I would say it’s definitely my “bottom” because every time I drink I get suicidal. Drinking is not worth it anymore.

I don’t want to die...I want to be happy. I just really need this early sobriety depression to lift! It’s really painful. Like excruciating. Anything you can say to give me hope would really be great.

Thank you!

MindfulMan

For me I found that I just had to get through it. When it lifted I had a strong pink cloud, then when that abated I had another month of depression.

What your feeling is totally normal, your body is healing and your brain is resetting, you're still in VERY early sobriety. Trust me, it gets easier. If it doesn't, have your doctor give you a psych referral, medication can help you get past it. It could also be that there has been underlying depression and you've been self medicating.

Breathe, and let yourself just sleep and isolate for now. It's OK. It WILL lift.

Awake61

What Mindful Man said.

Pondlady

As I'm sure you know alcohol is a depressant. I suffer from depression and besides my prescribed medication, I find keeping a healthy schedule helps a lot. I usually go to bed and get up at the same time, exercise daily and eat well.

Simple stuff, but it can make a big difference. Congrats on a sober week !!!!

Dee74

Hi Addy

While depression is pretty common in withdrawal (our brain chemistry gets messed up pretty good by years of drinking), please do see a Dr if you think you need to, or if you have a history of depression that predates the withdrawal.

I always say recoverys not meant to be endured - it's ok to ask for help

Hope you'll feel a little better tomorrow
D

MantaLady

For me exercise helped massively! Nothing serious just walking, it helps get happy chemicals flowing again, gets you out of the house and stops you obsessing or dwelling on the negatives. Every day it was so hard to get the motivation to do it but I forced myself and even some days I would be walking and every minute would be wishing I was home under the duvet hiding from the world. But, it helped more than most anything else in the first month. Hang in there Addy, it won’t always feel like this xx

Canuck76

You aren't alone Addy. I am absolutely miserable too. In my experience, it takes me about a month for low moods to improve. I guess we just have to accept it as part the healing process.

Anna

Addy, it will lift if it's caused by alcohol. Hang in there. If it persists, you can think about talking to your doctor. Try listening to some upbeat music or getting outside for a walk, if possible.

Addy47

Thank you everyone. I got out to an AA meeting tonight & it did wonders. Thank you for the great tips that I will try tomorrow. Most importantly, thanks for the HOPE.

Dee74

D

Mango212

Addy,

That's a powerful action. One day at a time. The sun rises again tomorrow.

I'm not alcoholic. I did find in my early recovery that often after a good day, a good meeting and/or getting real with my emotions my "dis-ease" within myself would get worse, like a rebound effect. What got life back into a good perspective was to use phone lists and stay in touch with my sponsor and many others in the program.

Good luck!



#lifeisgood
#livinginthesolution
#healthyconnections

Sober369

Hey Addy! I have a problem with depression, too. I just started on meds, but it takes a few weeks for them to help. I am trying to just push through and make myself do things that will help. AA helps me, too. And being outdoors for some time every day.
I think if my health improved, that would make a big difference, too, so I am trying to do things to improve my health.
It's so hard to not just go get in bed. Sometimes I feel very resentful and angry that I have to do things like go to a meeting or really anything that keeps me from vegging out in front of the TV or computer. It helps to read here and see that others are having to push themselves to do recovery things, too. And it helps to whine about it a little!

Guener

Addy, there is a lot of good input here for you on coming through the depression. I sometimes felt that it was enough to know that people cared, period. I, too, found some real relief in going to meetings despite how I was feeling at the time, leaving in a much better state than when I entered.

Mango212

Hi Addy,

How's the depression?

Have you made it to more meetings?

b0glerd69

Hi Addy,

As others have said, please seek help with the depression. I don't suffer myself but I have lived through the devastating effects of depression that has affected other members of my family.

Good luck on the sober journey and know that as you continue along the path your physical and mental health will improve and daily like gets easier and much better.

Natom

Hello Addy47,

The only advice I can give you is from my own experience. About four months ago I got up in the morning to go to work and found that I just couldn't get out of bed. Now physically I was fine and more than capable of actually getting out of bed. However, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The only way I can describe it is that 'I felt broken'. So I ended up taking some time off work and then got signed off by the doctor for about 5 weeks.

Most of those 5 weeks I couldn't get out of bed for anything other than using the bathroom. I rarely ate, I very rarely showered and I didn't leave the house other than to go to a doctors appointment. I was a complete mess and I can say with my hand on my heart that those five weeks were perhaps the worst five weeks of my life.

So the doctor prescribed me with anti-depressants but these made me feel worse before I felt better. They gave me the breathing space I needed to feel like I could start living again. I started doing counselling and daily journalling and I'm currently in a much better place.

Now I'm not telling you to go to the doctor and get a pill and everything will be ok. But I'd strongly recommend seeing a doctor and telling them how you feel. Depression is a complete pain in the arse and it loves to win. You probably feel like crap now but the only way you can defeat it is to attack it with a multi-pronged approach.

Talking to anyone, friends, family, even this forum, is a massive thing but perhaps you should consider writing your feelings down and perhaps talking to a professional.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you the best of luck. I've been there, it's crap...but you can get out of it.

Natom

Gottalife

Hi Addy,
I relate a lot to your post and Natom's above. Between drinks I used to do a lot of what I called "escape sleeping", or I would try and distract myself from the issues by reading light weight novels, another form of escape.

After a spell in a mental hospital I was staying sober on will power, but my life felt like it was fallng apart. I reached that point you described were I couldn't get out of bed either. A nurse who visited reported my living conditions as ABSOLUTE SQUALOR.

Seems it might be a bit of a characteristic of alcoholism. There was the misery of drinking but also the misery of not drinking, which always led back to a drink.

In my case some well meaning friends thought some dope would help. They said I was terrible when I drank, but dope would not affect me like that. So I took a puff and it led instantly to my drug of no choice, the only solution for my misery that had ever worked and that led to another year of hell.

In the moment, booze, a depressant, fixed the problem - not for long. If I had been suffering from depression, it ought to have made it worse. In my belief I was actually suffering from AAs spiritual malady.

Big Book page 52 " We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people " That described me to a tee.

Eventually I went to AA and had experiences similar to those you describe. First one of relief in discovering I was not alone, and later perhaps joy in discovering that I did actually have something to contribute to life and could in fact be useful. It turned out to be a rewarding way to live and as a result I have been free of the misery for many years.