SkyBird

My uncle has been sober 20 years. He doesn't go to AA or work a program.

He lives alone. He isn't married. He doesn't work a demanding job. He has EVERY reason in the book to drink, and yet he doesn't.

My point is: there must be something that happens, maybe after 1 year, 5 years, 10 years in which you simply lose the desire to drink. I don't think its necessarily because of the steps or AA, but that can help for some.

So....when does that obsession go away? If I lived alone I don't see how I wouldn't drink all day every day. But when will my cravings end?

Dee74

I quit and didn't go to AA so maybe to outsiders I look a little like your uncle 'not working a programme' but the reality was it was hard work and not just for a few weeks.

For me I'd drunk as much as I wanted for 20 years and ended up drinking all day everyday so I still wanted to drink for quite some time.

Over time those the intensity of the desire got less and less until they were what I can only describe as daydream - 'wouldn't it be nice if...'

It took me at least 3 months to realise that alcohol still had had a hold on the way I thought and the things I wanted - even tho I'd been sober 90 days.

After those 90 days I became to recover my right mind but as I say I had cravings from time to time throughout my first year. The second year was much more settled.

I can't tell you when my last craving was but it was easily dismissed

I still am glad I can log in here everyday and remind myself of whats at stake if I drink again.

I hope hearing it's a hard and long process doesn't put you off - most things worth doing are both hard and long - and support really helps - and there's a ton of that here.

D

bradly22

Nine months and then I outgrew it. No more cravings.

least

I lost the desire to drink around six months to a year. It was in that time I remember realizing I wasn't thinking about drinking all the time. The best thing I did for my sobriety was to start practicing gratitude every day. That made a big difference in my attitude.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

SoberCAH

I didn't have bad cravings, with the exception of a few "no mental defense" moments, after a year or so.

But alcohol and drinking were always on my mind until about 2 1/2 years sober.

Interestingly, Bill Wilson lost his desire to drink immediately and Dr. Bob lost his at 2 1/2 years sober, like me.

Keep the faith at work hard at your recovery and the cravings will one day leave you.

Evoo

When I first gave up heavy drinking and came out of my darkest place (daily drinking and heavy withdrawals/shakes) cravings were very common. They were related to very real physiological symptoms. That took a solid week of white-knuckled sobriety for me to get over. Flu-like symptoms even, terrifying dreams, shaking and night terrors. Not fun.

(EDIT: <— I should have done the above with the consult and help of a medical professional. I did not, I do not recommend going “cold turkey” after years of heavy drinking).

The next phase was overcoming guilt over the wasting time, and being unable to “fill the space” which was otherwise drinking. These cravings were different, not a physical withdrawal necessarily, but a deep emotional/habitual withdrawal. This took much longer for me to overcome.

I had to learn to enjoy the silence, and replace drinking with new and exciting things. Personally I chose physical fitness, p90x, weight training, sports, and training for obstacle courses. Then cooking and creative hobbies like photography, history, fun/immersive video games, dating. I slowly replaced drinking buddies with friends who loved hiking and sports where “drinking” was not the central activity or reason for gathering.

Long story short — there were a lot of steps to filling the space. Alcohol leaves a void.

Sometimes — I get it — you want to shift your consciousness. I have found that things like meditation and HITT training can actually clear your head in a very similar way (but a much healthier way) than alcohol ever could.

Hope this helps and good luck on your journey .

H379

OllieOliver, thanks for a clear breakdown of different kinds of cravings. Very helpful for me who is in early recovery.

Eddiebuckle

My experience was that "craving events" became less frequent and less strong over time. I would say mostly gone after 6 months, and after a year they were very rare. But even now, nine years in I will still once or twice a year get that twinge when I am in a stressful situation or feeling emotionally overwhelmed. The solution is the same as it ever was: do something to occupy myself and in 15 minutes or so, the feeling is completely gone.

On the other hand, from what I have been told by others in recovery who relapsed in small or large ways, drinking essentially sets the clock back and it takes months again for the cravings to go away. Relapse is not a "normal" part of recovery, and time does not make us any less alcoholic than when we were drinking at our worst.

Never forget your last drink... or chances are you haven't had it yet.

SkyBird

Powerful stuff. Wow. Scary to think that maybe my last drink hasn't happened yet

Dee74

My experience leads me to believe that we absolutely have the power to choose not to drink again SkyBird.

If we're prepared to work hard I believe we can always make a choice for sobriety.

D