Glad to be here! Day 1 (again)
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Glad to be here! Day 1 (again)
Well....and so it goes....until it doesn't. Have gotten sober for years at a time (the last time was in Oct. 2013 when we were living it Costa Rica). Hubby got very ill and we moved back to the States for medical reasons. We had rented our house out, so while my husband was hospitalized, and I was trying to find a place to stay, my drinking kicked up a notch. (I don't remember when I started drinking again, but (of course) I was, once again convinced that I could moderate my drinking. NOT. Just in the past 6 months or so , I became a daily drinker, AGAIN. There are sooooo many reasons that I could come up with (excuses), but the reality is that I am a drunk and HAVE to quit for good. The consequences are debilitating; incomprehensible demoralization is haunting me. My kids won't talk to me anymore, and hubby has just about had it as well. So I am back again....this time to stay!
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Daily commitment, goals, communication with others, get out of the house more, no alcohol in the house......still planning....quitting smoking too. I was diagnosed with lung cancer and had surgery in Oct. 2017 and I keep cheating!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
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I am a drunk, too. And always will be. Even with ten years sober. I know for a fact I am one drink away from a drunk.
I could never moderate either. Despite my best intensions, sworn oaths and even going to AA and coming here, I drank.
It took me a while. I have no impulse control.
But when alcohol began to really affect my relationships with everyone I knew and my work I realized I am a drunk. I cannot control my drinking.
It was a long process, but even this drunk, a daily drinker, things finally started to sink in. I was beat. Alcohol won. There was no middle ground, and I had to lose everything. I was even homeless, sleeping on friends couches. Still drank.
I had to give in to a power greater than myself to stop.
Thank God I found him. I am a spiritual person, and someone had to be looking out for me while I was drinking. I was wild and lived fast.
That's all changed. I am at peace now but have to be forever vigilant.
Each day I'm given a dally reprieve from drinking.
I wish the same for you.
I could never moderate either. Despite my best intensions, sworn oaths and even going to AA and coming here, I drank.
It took me a while. I have no impulse control.
But when alcohol began to really affect my relationships with everyone I knew and my work I realized I am a drunk. I cannot control my drinking.
It was a long process, but even this drunk, a daily drinker, things finally started to sink in. I was beat. Alcohol won. There was no middle ground, and I had to lose everything. I was even homeless, sleeping on friends couches. Still drank.
I had to give in to a power greater than myself to stop.
Thank God I found him. I am a spiritual person, and someone had to be looking out for me while I was drinking. I was wild and lived fast.
That's all changed. I am at peace now but have to be forever vigilant.
Each day I'm given a dally reprieve from drinking.
I wish the same for you.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Thanks so much...fortunately I didn't lose everything (YET)....and my husband has stopped drinking too, to try to support me. I know that this is MY deal though, and I WANT to be sober (again) for me. I have ruined/abandoned too many relationships, spent money irrationally, and have made some pretty bad decisions, lately. I need to accept responsibility, consequences, and make some (more) apologies. I know that my actions and my daily living will give some credence to my apologies, but I do have a lot of garbage from the past year or two to clean up. So, for today....my plan is to be sober, productive and honest. "A daily reprieve"......
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Woke up feeling great on day 3! Yesterday was a slippery slope when hubby came home with cigarettes (since we are quitting both)....I was thinking "Where's my wine?"....BUT....I surfed through it and came out clean on the other end! Looking forward to a great day today. I am doing a favor for a friend this morning (typing up letters to his insurance company), and THEN I am having a facial at 11:30am. YAY! The last few time I have had one, I always timed my morning glass(es) of wine so that (hopefully) 1. I could drive, and 2. so I wouldn't smell like alcohol....HA! The only one I was kidding was myself! So happy not to have to think about that today!
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