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4th time lucky?

Old 02-08-2019, 08:25 AM
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4th time lucky?

I wasn't going to post today as I am just on the verge of heading off on a trip for a few days and won't have any internet. I won't see any responses that might come and I didn't want people to think I was ignoring them.

But, in the end, I have decided to post. I have been to SR three times before and at least two of my previous short stints can be found by looking at my old threads.

The last time was in 2017, I think. Since then life has been a patchwork of the odd month of abstinence, the odd month of moderation and some periods of excess too. In short, despite putting some work into a plan last time, I have failed in my attempts to stop drinking.

Overall, I drink less than in years gone by but still enough to cause me problems. So it is too much. Essentially my problem has not changed. I remain unable to predictably moderate my drinking and, on occasions, this leads to really bad outcomes for me, quite apart from the ongoing abrasion to my health, my relationships and my wallet.

I want to stop. I want to live differently and despite currently being a bit low on confidence I am determined to give it another go. I know that I have to try something different and next week I will be visiting an AA group and seeing a counsellor. Not things I have ever tried before.

So, though I am sorry to be back here for these reasons, it has already been very good to connect to some other members and I have been delighted to hear that they are doing well. It is encouraging to me.

So, forgive me if I don't respond to any of you for a few days. I will when I can. For now, from me on another Day 1, hello to you all and the very best of fortunes in your own journeys.
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Old 02-08-2019, 08:29 AM
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Heyyyy, welcome home 😊 I wish you much love on your journey to a brighter better future.
🙏💖
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Old 02-08-2019, 08:53 AM
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Welcome back!

I'm glad you're planning to try something different. I think that will be necessary for you to recover. Your confidence may be low right now, but have patience and it will grow.

Enjoy your time away for the next few days and know that we will be here when you return.
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Old 02-08-2019, 09:01 AM
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Glad you made the decision to come back. Welcome.
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Old 02-08-2019, 09:33 AM
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Welcome back sameold. Glad to hear you have some concrete plans to try something different this time around - that's really what it takes. Luck really doesn't help so much when it comes to getting sober I've found - but hard work does.

Perhaps before you go you could put together a sobriety "survival"kit. Maybe some books on sobriety/self improvment, some healthy snacks and drinks, etc. If you are thinking of giving AA a try the big book would be a great one to stick in your suitcase!
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:00 AM
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Hello everyone and thanks for you welcomes, your advice and your support.

My trip was an interesting one, revolving, as it did, around a big family reunion type party including lots of people I didn't know too. It was a 50th birthday for an uncle. The night was a seething mixture of feuds, tensions, flirtations, fights, social awkwardness, some fun and, as ever with that group, an almost unbelievable deluge of free booze.

But none for me. It was a strange, almost other-worldly experience being at such a booze soaked melee for many hours. After the first five minutes, I knew I wouldn't drink, once I had got past the habit moment. I felt ever less like drinking as the evening wore on and I got to observe what drunk looks like (and sounds like) from the outside.

I didn't enjoy it very much at the time. It was a very fraught occasion and it dragged. But it was interesting and, in the end, very positive for me.

So, just checking in on day 4. Thanks again everyone.
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Old 02-11-2019, 04:46 PM
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congrats on day 4 sameoldsameold

D
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Old 02-13-2019, 05:25 AM
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Thanks Dee.

Well, day 6 and I have been to my first AA meeting and first counselling session. I am not quite sure what I think of either yet!

I am sure they may both be useful if not vital tools in the box as time goes on. At present however I am in a period of trying to address a number of problems in my life which are not really alcohol related - though i have used alcohol in order to avoided addressing them previously.

I have found that I am not currently thinking about drinking but instead about how to approach these other challenges in my life. That is consuming me. So I was feeling reluctant to be talk about alcohol, or even, if I am honest, listen to others talk about it. I know it is not something that I can ignore in the long term of course but I am just accounting my own current reluctance.

I realise will need to be well prepared for when I am tested and I can only do that by considering my problem and planning properly. So I will stick with both things for now despite my current lack of enthusiasm for them.

Otherwise, I am ok. I have no cravings or anything like that but I never really do until I have the first drink!

So, I think I am doing at least some to the right things - new things I haven't tried before - and I am sober. So, over all, pretty positive.

Thanks again for the good wishes.
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Old 02-13-2019, 05:32 AM
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Welcome back.

I will be visiting an AA group and seeing a counsellor. Not things I have ever tried before.

That's what you need to do, change up your sobriety plan. Hope it works!
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Old 02-13-2019, 08:57 AM
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Gentle reminder that getting sober isn’t luck, but work. For me, I’m lucky that I’m not dead, and I’m sober because I worked at it.

It sounds like you’re doing good work. Congrats on your sober time. It gets better and it gets easier.

-b
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Old 02-13-2019, 02:04 PM
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Welcome back! Six days is a good start and it seems like you’re putting a few things in place to stop you drinking. I found weekly counseling really helped me in the first few months. We didn’t talk much about drinking but the sessions kept me accountable and focused on the way I view my life.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:47 PM
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I also started my sobriety with weekly counseling sessions with an addiction counselor. I was blessed, the counselor I was assigned to was wonderful and a huge help to me.

I also make daily visits here, to read and post and try to give back what was so freely given me when I was new.
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Old 02-14-2019, 01:12 AM
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Thanks again for all f the support and good counsel. I realise that I am not at present replying to individual comments, nor am I doing much in terms of supporting others. I am sure that it will come. But right now I am in a slightly selfish or self-centred phase as I try to wade through some of the complications that drinking has led to.
I just want you to know that I appreciate every one fo your contributions.
Day 7 today. I am doing ok.
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Old 02-15-2019, 03:55 AM
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Day 8 and it is a tough one. Very down today. Partly through the experience of facing some difficult truths and experiencing a lot of regrets .
I know it will get better....and I know it will take a while.
The good news is that I don't feel like drinking at all. The bad news is that I don't much feel like doing anything else either! Think I just need to weather this one out. I am doing alright and making steady progress in other ways. Bound to be a bit of a rollercoaster I guess!
Well, there we are, all checked in on day 8. Onward I go. Thanks again, everyone.
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Old 02-17-2019, 05:57 AM
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Just a quick check in. Life is still a challenge and I am still sober. Day 11 and I have the next 5 days planned pretty much hour by hour. So I shall keep moving along. Best to all
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Old 02-17-2019, 06:07 AM
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Much of early (and mid) sobriety is an emotional. Physical and mental roller coaster. Just make sure to have your safety harness buckled securely and ask for help when needed. The ride does end.
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Old 02-17-2019, 02:57 PM
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I think its important to try and 'do sober things', even if you don't want to - you might be surprised at how much you enjoy it

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Old 02-18-2019, 02:32 AM
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Thanks again everyone! Yes, Dee you are absolutely correct. I almost always enjoy doing sober things once I actually go and do them. I have made a number of things into drinking things over the years which can also be sober things. These include attending live sports events, going to concerts and performing as a semi-pro musician (on and off). I actually enjoy doing each much more when I am sober. Much more. But I made them into some of my biggest drinking occasions over the years. Recently I realised that, among the groups I do these things with, I was really the last one drinking heavily. I hadn't noticed before. In fact, a lot of those friends and associates barely drink now, if at all. And there was me thinking that it was inevitable I would drink on those occasions because ' everyone else would be'. And they weren't! How powerfully drinking skews our vision of what is around us.....
Thanks again for all the support. Day 12 and feeling a bit better.
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Old 02-27-2019, 04:46 AM
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I am on 20 days today, which is about as far as I normally get!
I haven't had any near misses or major desires to drink. I have been around alcohol and socialising a lot for various reasons and had no problem in declining drinks. I have had a really good time too.
I am in a phase now where I still ave a lot of pieces to pick up in my life but, having lost some of the nervous energy that drinking and hangovers bring, I am struggling a little bit to find the motivation. But I am confident I will. My daily routine still needs work which I recognise and I need to work more on some goals that are not linked directly drinking but are about improving myself and my life.
But 20 days of abstinence is a decent start and brings me to the point where I know that I need to work hard to make sure that the next step is forwards not backwards.
Very best wishes to everyone in their own journeys.
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Old 03-11-2019, 07:30 AM
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Just a quick check-in. I am still sober. Not entirely sure of the number of days now but think it is about 32. Still struggling along. I am not feeling any pull to drink but I have got an awful lot of mess to tidy up. Some days I have the energy to do a bit, some days I can manage a lot, many days none at all. But I am still seeing a counsellor and it is certainly helping.
So, still sober and still in the game.
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