fini

SkyBird, i think there are MeetUp groups for various activities specifically for sober folk.
so you'd join based on something you're interested in doing, and would be hanging out with sober people and possibly find a sober community that way.

AnvilheadII

because I have a better way that works for me.

interesting, as you reported that on the 4th (4 days ago), you drank. i think when touting how your way works this is a rather important point.

AAPJ

You know Dee I started a thread along these lines.... and compared to this thread (and ones like it) it did not get much response.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-methods.html (Shared Characteristics of Different Recovery Methods)

Addy47

I like the fellowship of AA. The people in those rooms are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. It’s nice to have face to face support so I don’t feel alone. I support whatever works for people. Feeling alone is a big trigger for me so I like the meetings. :-)

ljc267

I'm not in AA and have never been to a meeting so I can't speak, at all, about the program. What I will say is that "by any means necessary". If diving head first into AA is what it takes to get you sober then do it. If eating banana a everyday except Tuesday gets you there then great. Everyone is different and require different stimuli to motivate them.

Some can motivate themselves others can not. Some need some but not a lot. The key is to do what is best for you and don't do it half ass.

SoberCAH

For those of you who don't feel AA is right for you, I wish you the best.

I'm told it's not the only way.

I went to my first AA meeting on Sunday, September 25, 1988, right after I admitted myself into treatment (on my sobriety date, September 22, 1988), and I haven't had a drink since.

I keep going to AA, I work the steps daily and I have made a lot of life changes with the help of God and AA, in that order.

I have had a very blessed life in every respect.

Not always easy, but certainly a lot better than that awful life when I walked through the door of the treatment center.

If any of you become willing to go (or return) to AA, we'll keep a seat for you and welcome you.

Dee74

Thanks for those who've shared their experience

I've been reading that thread. I agree - I wish threads like those got the audience threads like these do.


I think AAers have ample chance to correct misconceptions on SR

but, yeah - sometimes now matter how I try, its like talking to a brick wall TS....

D

Dascha

I've heard of people being forced to attend AA...by a court order. If that was the case it would never work for me. But being forced to do anything if I was reluctant would result in failure.
I've tried it in the past...voluntarily...but it didn't click for me. No big deal...move on and find something else.

In my own personal life....I'm fairly private, and I work alot of hours. Hard physical work. You won't catch me in any meetings for anything in the evenings. I'm way too tired. But I like reading on here, I find
it inspiring and it works for me...I've quit drinking and smoking for a month now. I feel so much better.

PeacefulWater12

What is working for me is a beautiful combination of posting in this and another online group, attending some online 12 step meetings, a variety of them, giving myself excellent self care, not going to places full of heavy drinkers, joining a ladies gym where I do yoga and have met a lovely bunch of gals that I socialise with.

PeacefulWater12

This!

August252015

I read thru the posts again and just wanted to see how you are doing. One post that piqued my interest was Anvilhead's (to me, straight but kind) inquiry into how your better way is working (I am not being snarky here). I am not sure how many days it is now since Anvil's quote from you and the start of this post.

Let us know how you are - there are lots of folks here contributing their good thoughts on finding what works for them - you can do it too.

AAPJ

Great post and wow… that’s a lot of sobriety! For me your last sentence was the most important. I walked out of the rooms in 2003 and did not return until 2015. One of the few things I remembered was that I would be welcome.

I do think there are more recovery options today than there were in 1988. For example, this wonderful website did not exist back then. But in the end, I think for most of us if we choose not to go with AA we need some sort of program or process. It requires work on our part no matter what recovery method(s) we choose to practice.

There is no free lunch.

Jules714

Here's a snipet of what I learned in AA; my ego is one of my biggest problems. Also; I'm not that special in my problems nor am I that important. My way wasn't working (there's an understatement!) This way works for a whole lot, now proudly, including me.
Nobody really cares if you don't want to work steps with a sponsor. It's your sobriety and while it's important to you, I'm only concerned about mine. My focus is getting myself better.
I also found a new perspective that makes me think twice about just complaining to complain. Sitting in a pitty pit. That's a mighty fine way to work myself into a drink. Today I have acceptance and I bust my bum to be a better person. I so happen to spend a lot of time with bunch of other people who showed me the way. It works for us because we work for it. It may not work for you and that's ok.

If you found a formula that keeps you sober than do that. So long as you do something. People will likely join your bandwagon when they see it works.
Kinda how AA began.

Just don't drink and keep doing whatever it is that makes you realize that drinking is not an option.
GL,
Jules
​​​​​​

Spybee007

I'm with you on the AA thing. I've been a few different times and I just flat out don't like it. I can respect it though and I also can see the benefit in being held accountable by others as well as just being around others who have been through it. You do get that here though.

The AA groups I went to, they wanted me to come back everyday and I wanted to go on my time. I also am not a religious person and there was a lot of religion talk not to mention it was at a church.

I think a certain kind of person can quit on their own. Not exactly on your own because it does take support of those in your life, but it does really come from within to have that extreme WANT to stop drinking and it is also SOLELY up to you to maintain sobriety, no one else can really stop you unless you are detained of course.

What works for me though is to constantly associate alcohol with the worst feelings, situations, scenarios and to shut down any thoughts that are on the pros side of the list. I just keep thinking of all the bad alcohol is and it becomes easier and easier to say no and move on about my day. It is one day at a time though. The ****** thing is how much society accepts alcohol.

brighterday1234