WhoDeyPI

Hey ya'll,

This may not be appropriate for the "Newcomers to Sobriety" area, but I still feel like a newcomer, and feel comfortable with some of the connections I've made in here, so I'm sticking with it.

I'm on day 164 of my sobriety, and have been doing well. Still haven't felt a need to attend any meetings, and haven't craved alcohol in weeks.

I'm starting to get "cocky" with my sobriety. I've been having feelings of "how was I ever even dependent on alcohol?" and "sobriety is so easy!"....

....In a way, I like feeling this way, but also am afraid that getting too "lax" might lead me to that "maybe I can just have 1" mindset.

I guess my question is: How do you keep a healthy balance between being confident in sobriety and the "new to sobriety" motivation/guard up attitude?

biminiblue

Keep reading the Day One posts. That will ruin any drinking thoughts.

Honestly, when I was done I was done.

I still never ever not ever even a little bit ever want to go back to those early days of sobriety. I was pretty jacked up. Luckily for me I didn't have to go to work or take care of anyone but me. That was bad enough and I'll never forget how awful I felt physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I'd say thank your lucky stars that you aren't struggling at the moment, but be prepared just in case.

WhoDeyPI

Good advice. So far reading my own "day 1" has kept me in check when I was having thoughts of drinking. I'm just feeling great and can't imagine going back. Hoping it stays this way, but I know the Summer will be a struggle as drinking has always been a Summer hobby.

ScottFromWI

It's a very common occurrence WhoDei - in fact I think it's almost universal that we question our decision to quit at some point. I mean yeah - it really wouldn't be too big of a deal to just have one or two, right? You've proven pretty conclusively that you have things under control now, so of course a drink or two won't be an issue at all.. NOT ;-)

I think a health balance between keeping your sobriety important but not all-consuming is a matter of what works best for you. For me, the majority of my "work" towards staying sober happens here on SR - reading and trying to help others. It keeps me grounded as I see people who where I was before I quit, but I can also try and help support them - which in turn helps me too.

If you follow a more regimented plan like recovery meetings, some folks continue them but not as frequently - but they usually don't just quit the program entirely.

I pushed support away completely early on after I had a few months of sobriety and started drinking again shortly thereafter. Stay in touch with your support, it can really help.

brighterday1234

Doris47

Heyyyyyy. This advice is something I'm going to carry right through with me. As a reminder when I'm feeling weak, today is a good day ........
Much love 🙏💖

tomsteve

i remember my last drunk( actually the day after) and know it can-and will- be worse if i rest on my laurels.
im still an alcoholic. i have alcoholism. its just dormant.

PalmerSage

I think you're very wise to recognize any potential complacency, and think ahead for ways to combat/prevent it. In my experience, it has been my undoing in the past - mostly in the sense that I've tried to do too much, too soon (such as trying to lose weight in very early recovery, thus ignoring the "H" in HALT as a trigger) and not giving my sobriety my full care and attention. Of course, it's not like that forever, but definitely in my first 6 months I made it my TOP priority, no matter what.

NerfThis

I think it's just important to remember WHY you quit, no matter how much time passes. I'm only on 190 myself, so that crippling anxiety, guilt, fear for my health that I suffered during binges is still relatively fresh in my mind, but things will change as months and years go on, so it's important to be mindful of that and never forget why I did this.

For me, I didn't quit at any rock bottom stage. I quit at a stage where I was still fully capable of drinking very little on most occasions with not even the slightest effort to moderate. Other times I'd be downing alcohol before going out to meet friends on Friday and come Monday, be shaking on the sofa desperately trying not to drink that one rum and coke that I knew would stop the anxiety and shakes. It's those few, but very alcoholic occasions that led me to quit. I always have to remind myself of those horrendous times and never fool myself into thinking that the times I moderated mean I can ever control this completely.

WhoDeyPI

I sure don't miss those days where I could barely pay for a bottle of vodka because I was shaking too hard to swipe my debit card. I remember holding my left index finger with my right hand just to steady it enough to punch in my PIN. Awful to think about.

ljc267

This post so much encapsulates how I felt when I quit and the early days of sobriety for me.

Any thought of ever drinking again are smashed by the struggle I had to endure to quit.

lessgravity

I think there's a difference in language and in kind between getting cocky "in sobriety" and "with sobriety". I would argue that the more sober I am the more thankful I am that I am sober. In that regard I am not cocky "with" my sobriety - I know it is absolutely essential to my wellbeing, my future, my life in every way. On the other hand I find myself more and more sure of myself, my thoughts, my choices - I am more confident of a person since I've put away that horrible poison that made me anxious and weak and self-doubting (for good reason!). So, in that sense, I am more cocky "in" my sobriety.

If you are thinking at all about drinking again, I'd call that (beyond just foolish ) cocky with sobriety and I would focus on that and defend against it.

There is no such thing as moderation in the end - those who need it can't, those who can don't need to.

Kid50

entropy1964

I find when I start getting cocky about anything my thinking is generally needing an adjustment.

Wow my laptop is freaking out so I think I'll stop there!