I drank
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 38
I drank
I drank, full-well knowing I shouldn't. Full well knowing that I'd be hungover and anxious miserable, I drank. I'm getting pretty sick of this game.
And you know what....alcohol just isn't doing for me what it used to. I seem to always be chasing that "first high", the elated feeling I used to get when I was younger.
And it just doesn't seem to be happening anymore.
I feel pretty good, relaxed for about 30 mins I'd say. But then I always need another drink to "keep it up."
And then, low and behold, I'm anxious and miserable and disappointed with myself the following day.
I'm pretty tired of this dance. I don't wanna pick up that first drink again, ever.
But how many times have I said that before? And how many times have I failed.
I just don't know anymore.
And you know what....alcohol just isn't doing for me what it used to. I seem to always be chasing that "first high", the elated feeling I used to get when I was younger.
And it just doesn't seem to be happening anymore.
I feel pretty good, relaxed for about 30 mins I'd say. But then I always need another drink to "keep it up."
And then, low and behold, I'm anxious and miserable and disappointed with myself the following day.
I'm pretty tired of this dance. I don't wanna pick up that first drink again, ever.
But how many times have I said that before? And how many times have I failed.
I just don't know anymore.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
I've been there many, many times. It got to be tiresome and not worth it. But, it takes strength to break the cycle. SR helps me stay on my path. I hope you find your way out. Keep posting!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I think we've all been there SkyBird. For me the solution was to accept without question that drinking was not an option. I tried desperately to try to make alcohol work for me through every possible moderation/control scenario I could. I attempted to control the frequency, amount, type, volume, time of day and just about every other conceivable way to "moderate" my consumption, but every single time I always returned to daily binge drinking. And i also got the point where I didn't even feel any good feelings when I drank - i simply had to do it to stave off withdrawals.
The good news is that the decision to quit for good is one anyone can make - doesn't matter how old you are, how much you drank, etc. The bad news is that it's hard - really hard - especially at first. But I can tell you without question that my life is far better now than when I drank alcohol - in every possible way. Yours can be too.
The good news is that the decision to quit for good is one anyone can make - doesn't matter how old you are, how much you drank, etc. The bad news is that it's hard - really hard - especially at first. But I can tell you without question that my life is far better now than when I drank alcohol - in every possible way. Yours can be too.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
The buzz from drinking is so short lived, it's actually pointless if you think about it.
You feel good for about 30 minutes, then you are just chasing the buzz as you get more and more intoxicated, lethargic, bloated, sick, incoherent, stupid.
Playing the tape forward helps me alot. I think about what happens after the first drink. I will want more, as its pointless having one drink. I'll need a bottle, once I have a bottle I might fancy carrying on, as I will have a real taste for it, so maybe two bottles of wine. I'll drink those, and then I won't remember going to sleep, and I'll wake up in the morning feeling depressed, anxious and craving more drink to make me feel better.
Or I can just not drink, and avoid all of that. Quite an easy decision when you think about it.
You feel good for about 30 minutes, then you are just chasing the buzz as you get more and more intoxicated, lethargic, bloated, sick, incoherent, stupid.
Playing the tape forward helps me alot. I think about what happens after the first drink. I will want more, as its pointless having one drink. I'll need a bottle, once I have a bottle I might fancy carrying on, as I will have a real taste for it, so maybe two bottles of wine. I'll drink those, and then I won't remember going to sleep, and I'll wake up in the morning feeling depressed, anxious and craving more drink to make me feel better.
Or I can just not drink, and avoid all of that. Quite an easy decision when you think about it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Believe that you can do this, because you can. You can decide to stop drinking now and to live a sober life. Chasing the high is pointless as you have found. Can you come up with a plan for how to get through the early days of recovery?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Originally Posted by Primativo 
The buzz from drinking is so short lived, it's actually pointless if you think about it.
You feel good for about 30 minutes, then you are just chasing the buzz as you get more and more intoxicated, lethargic, bloated, sick, incoherent, stupid.
Playing the tape forward helps me alot. I think about what happens after the first drink. I will want more, as its pointless having one drink. I'll need a bottle, once I have a bottle I might fancy carrying on, as I will have a real taste for it, so maybe two bottles of wine. I'll drink those, and then I won't remember going to sleep, and I'll wake up in the morning feeling depressed, anxious and craving more drink to make me feel better.
Or I can just not drink, and avoid all of that. Quite an easy decision when you think about it.
You feel good for about 30 minutes, then you are just chasing the buzz as you get more and more intoxicated, lethargic, bloated, sick, incoherent, stupid.
Playing the tape forward helps me alot. I think about what happens after the first drink. I will want more, as its pointless having one drink. I'll need a bottle, once I have a bottle I might fancy carrying on, as I will have a real taste for it, so maybe two bottles of wine. I'll drink those, and then I won't remember going to sleep, and I'll wake up in the morning feeling depressed, anxious and craving more drink to make me feel better.
Or I can just not drink, and avoid all of that. Quite an easy decision when you think about it.
This is exactly how my drink pattern went.
Such a pointless exercise 🙏
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I couldn't have said it better Skybird. It's the warm buzz the first 2-3 beers give me that I am always chasing and trying to maintain. However, by the 6th or 7th pint, I am intoxicated and the gloves are off. I will be drunk for days.
I cannot have that 1st pint no matter what.
I cannot have that 1st pint no matter what.
Walk on
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 68
You know you don't like it anymore and it doesn't make you happy. Make a 100% commitment to stop my friend, make new plans/hobbies/activities to replace the time you would spend drinking, make sure you don't fet bored and remove those bad influences ans dangerous enviroments. You can do it if you 100% commit and build a new life to replace the old one.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 43
Originally Posted by SkyBird
And then, low and behold, I'm anxious and miserable and disappointed with myself the following day.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ohio
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by SkyBird
I'm pretty tired of this dance. I don't wanna pick up that first drink again, ever.
But how many times have I said that before? And how many times have I failed.
I just don't know anymore.
I felt this same way when I had bulimia. Every time I would swear it would be last binge. The last purge. I'd start new tomorrow. It was the same hopeless, dissapointed feeling.
It is day 2 for me (after finding this website yesterday). I just understand what you're feeling.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 78
Early recovery feels miserable... I know. But I also know what’s on the other side. And it’s so worth it. I’m trying to get back there too. We just can’t guve up. We have to keep trying and trying until it finally sticks. I have to believe it will.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,338
Maybe look at the one year and over threads.
I’m not there yet but it’s a goal.
In my early days I lurked there a lot to see if people were really happy sober or if they were still white knuckling it.
In fact, I was so excited in my early days I posted there accidentally. Must just be a premonition😊
You got this
I’m not there yet but it’s a goal.
In my early days I lurked there a lot to see if people were really happy sober or if they were still white knuckling it.
In fact, I was so excited in my early days I posted there accidentally. Must just be a premonition😊
You got this
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