Canuck76

I am well aware of the link between alcohol and anxiety. I just not sure if my anxiety is caused by my drinking or if I am self-medicating an anxiety disorder already there.

I didn't have anxiety issues until my late 20's. I drank to deal with it. A cycle I can't seem to break. I do have real problems to be anxious about.

My anxiety is worse than ever and the reason for drinking during the past 8 years or so. I am ruined financially, completely isolated, unemployed and single. Alcohol got me here but I can't handle the hopelessness. I get suicidal ideations regularly. I am very paranoid at all times. I don't sleep. I am a mess.

Dee74

I've always been anxious but I found alcohol fed my anxiety in the long run. I ended up with the anxiety I had originally and also the anxiety of wanting/needing to drink.

If your anxiety is alcohol related it should abate once you quit.
If its not, not drinking will at least stop feeding it.

D

ScottFromWI

In either case, the solution is one in the same. I am diagnosed with GAD and self medicated for decades. Of course in the end drinking makes it all worse. I also found some freedom when I quit asking “why” i am the way I am, because it really doesn’t matter as the solution is already known. Like someone said once, if your house is on fire you don’t sit around contemplating why it’s on fire...you get the heck out and you do it as fast as you can.

canguy

I found this helpful:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...er-and-anxiety

(assuming its ok to post external links)

All the best.

least

Drinking made my anxiety a lot worse. Once I got sober for good, my anxiety is manageable. What kept me chained to the bottle was that I couldn't get thru the awful hyper withdrawal anxiety, and I'd have a drink to quell the anxiety... which started the withdrawal all over again.

You have to get thru the first week. I always found the first four days were the worst. Once I got to day five, it got better.

Canuck76

I keep drinking on days long binges. Not really with any real recollection of my actions. The vagueness makes me anxious. For example, I just spent $300 this week and just have empty bottles and lost items. I was drinking vodka, I tend to blackout. I do remember drinking vodka during the day once. That spells trouble

ScottFromWI

Is your goal to quit drinking?

Canuck76

Yes, it is. I am paranoid though. These thoughts take over completely sometimes. Feeling of being watched etc. Alcohol helps stop them cold. It takes weeks of sobriety for the paranoia to clear.

I know I need AA meetings and a sponsor. I just have to keep trying.

Ghostlight1

Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist?
I did and it completely changed my life for the better. And the drinking.

DontRemember

Not that it really matters,but how do you work and take care of yourself like this? That's no way to live eithr way,bud and it will kill you AFTER it steals your life from you. Get to some meetings and do the work required to stay sober..post here before and instead of drinking. Call a therapist..go to rehab..whatever you have to do to get your life back on track.

kiki26

MissPerfumado

I was anxious and paranoid at the end of my drinking. I could barely say anything in a public speaking setting without getting extremely anxious, feeling my heart beating out of my chest, getting sweaty and even hyperventilating.

I was paranoid and thought people were talking about me at work every time they had a private meeting.

It was quite hellish, in hindsight.

When I quit, I felt much better. But after about 6 months of sobriety, the public speaking anxiety returned. Not all the time but often enough that I became anxious about whether it would surface every time I spoke up, which was just as bad!

After some reflection, I realised that this particular form of anxiety had been with me in my late 20s / early 30s at the time my alcoholic career was just taking off. I medicated it with alcohol but it caught up with me.

Alcohol is a terrible strategy for dealing with anxiety, obviously.

I began to do deep breathing exercises in public speaking settings. I also run regularly, use float tanks weekly and do yoga, and all of that helped.

After a couple more years sober, the public speaking anxiety disappeared. For now, I don't regard myself as having anxiety issues. I feel like, with a long enough period of sobriety and healthy living, I have resolved it.

Stayingsassy

My paranoia at the end of my drinking took a dark turn. Short story: I was not a sane person. Sobriety restored my clear thinking and my sanity.

It did not reverse my problems with depression.

The point is that you don’t know at this point what is actually caused by your drinking, or a condition you would contend with whether you drink or not.

It can’t be sorted out until you’ve been sober a few months. Sobriety might clear it up, or maybe you’ll need additional help.

Get sober first.

Guener

I understand your present circumstances, Canuck, and it's a very nasty place to be.

Quitting alcohol made me much better, but it did not bring full relief from my General Anxiety Disorder and Depression, I see a psychiatrist for those problems and have periodic therapy from an addiction specialist. Your anxiety and depressive thoughts may be situational or not, but it doesn't hurt to be seen about it by a professional, either way. Consider if you were feeling this way before you were drinking or as a result of it.

In any case, the booze is going to fuel the bad emotional states greatly.

Ghostlight1

Nicely put. And I agree one hundred percent.

Canuck76

My behaviour when drinking is becoming quite erratic and impulsive. I walk around a big city at night with no plan or thought. I just don't quite know what is driving me. I have to stop. I am scared for myself and safety. I remember being on a bus a few nights ago but it was like 1 or 2am and minus 20 out. Left my wallet somewhere. No reason to be out then in that weather/time

MustStop

Its the booze that causes the anxiety, then you drink more to bury it and you wake up the next day even worse. Vicious cycle. The only way to make it stop is to stop drinking. For me I would be so paranoid the day after I was scared to drive my car. And if it was really bad, I'd have a panic attack - those are scary. Feels like you are dying.

But when I'd hang up the bottle it would all be gone within a few days. The paranoia, the anxiety and even the heart burn / acid reflux.

Suzieq17

I was in the same cycle you describe. Anxiety, booze, thoughts of suicide, repeat. My messed up mind was a huge motivator for me to get sober—I just couldn’t take it anymore and knew that if I quit drinking it HAD to get better.

Newly sober, but my anxiety has definately gotten better.

In order to clean up the mess (had a post a few weeks back titled that I was a mess) —you have to put down the drink and resolve that you are done with drinking and want to get better. All the mind stuff if most likely from the drinking, and the further you get from your last drink—the better your mind will be.

Keep posting, we are here for you. Being sober is a gradual process, one day at a time. You can do this and the mess in your head will go away.

ScottFromWI

Alcohol is driving. And it's a master of making you think that it's not. Re-read the three sentences you wrote above- even in those three lines you say that you don't know what the problem is but then you state that you do. Classic addictive denial, most of us have been there.

I think at this point you are not only a danger to yourself but those around you too if you are randomly going out on the town in blackout mode. What happens if you get in a vehicle for example? To be honest I think your next call should be to an inpatient rehab facility - for your own safety and your family.

None of the other issues with your anxiety or ADHD can be solved until you stop drinking, and if you can stop drinking yourself you need to be someplace where alcohol is not an option. Once that hurdle has been cleared you can start exploring options to deal with the other problems.

Canuck76

No money for rehab. No insurance. I would check in for in-patient but I don't have 10 grand. I am pretty much detoxed already. Just need to hit up meetings etc.