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Lost Friends?

Old 02-03-2019, 02:57 PM
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Lost Friends?

I was wondering if anyone has faced the very real possibility of losing friends over sobriety.

I find myself distancing myself from a good friend, if only because we often socialized via drinking. I'm trying not to feel bad about it, hoping he hasn't noticed the distance. Hoping maybe I'll get over this- but also ready to do anything I can to help my sobriety.

Anyone had any losses in the quest for sobriety? What was your experience?
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Old 02-03-2019, 03:06 PM
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I lost a good may people I considered friends when I got sober.

From the vantage point of a decade on I can see a relationship built largely or even completely on a shared love of getting wasted was probably not that great to begin with.

A very few of my drinking buddies stuck by me and even decided by themselves not to drink around me. Those are the folks I consider real friends.

I gained a lot of new friends and reconnected with old ones my drinking had driven away.

I regret nothing

D
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Old 02-03-2019, 03:08 PM
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I lost a hell of a lot of friends when I stopped for 5 months a few years ago, but we used to drink at the same pub. I got over it. When I ended up going back, the whole group were still there like it was yesterday and I was back where I started, still having the same conversations etc.

When I joined the Police in 2002,one of the interviewers asked if I'd lost friends due to joining the police. I said I had (two mates I had known since school couldn't accept my new career choice). He just said, "They weren't very good friends then were they?" He was blunt, but spot on.
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Old 02-03-2019, 05:00 PM
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Yes, it's a reality. There are other things that you lose.too.

Not one of those losses is worth everything I've gained, a better life in each and every way. You don't get the most important things, of real value and sustenance in life without work and sacrifice. The struggle is worth it.


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Old 02-03-2019, 05:07 PM
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We don't lose true friends; we just lose drinking buddies.
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Old 02-03-2019, 05:08 PM
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I lost some drinking buddies, but then again all we had in common was alcohol so I really didn’t lose much there. Certainly I had a few close acquaintances from my regular drinking establishment that I still occasionally see, but I knew them from outside the drinking world already.

But if someone were to hold my sobriety against me and not want to be my friend because of it that says a lot more about them than me. And I would have no problem moving on without a second thought.
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Old 02-03-2019, 06:21 PM
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I didn't lose any friends, as I usually drank by myself, but I did make friends with myself once I was sober for a while.
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Old 02-03-2019, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
I didn't lose any friends, as I usually drank by myself, but I did make friends with myself once I was sober for a while.
Yeah. Friends with myself. Thank you for putting words to that.
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