Weekender Thread 1-3 February 2019
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
Welcome to Weekenders SkyBird and Sunflower and congratulations on 12 and 71 days respectively, thats great. It is tough early on but it gets easier once you become acclimatised to not drinking and it becomes the new normal.
OK, I had a good time at the Tate Gallery with the relatives. Francis Bacon must have been eating late night cheese to have dreamt these up but they are priceless.
OK, I had a good time at the Tate Gallery with the relatives. Francis Bacon must have been eating late night cheese to have dreamt these up but they are priceless.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Originally Posted by Lonewolf22 
Where's the January class went to ?
Originally Posted by Lonewolf22
Does January class continue as February class?
We'll move this thread at the end of the month so that the new monthly thread (February 2019) can take its place here in Newcomers forum.
This thread stays intact, but moves to the Daily Support forum.
Some members, especially those struggling, may prefer to move to February, but there's no rule about that at all - stay here, move, or post in both - it's really up to you
I wanted to let everyone know you're all very welcome to keep posting in this thread.
It will keep going
This thread stays intact, but moves to the Daily Support forum.
Some members, especially those struggling, may prefer to move to February, but there's no rule about that at all - stay here, move, or post in both - it's really up to you
I wanted to let everyone know you're all very welcome to keep posting in this thread.
It will keep going
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-pt-1-a-2.html
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Morning, weekenders.
I overslept, skipped my cold shower and slacking all around.
And yes, Trach, I need more coffee.
See you later)
I overslept, skipped my cold shower and slacking all around.
And yes, Trach, I need more coffee.
See you later)
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Morning weekenders,
Yesterday afternoon we had 12, 5 and 6 year olds for my one's birthday. Amazing enough no hair pulling or fist fights. Some back up was on hand to help out keep them from burning down the house and eating the dog...
Hopefully be a quite day today
Yesterday afternoon we had 12, 5 and 6 year olds for my one's birthday. Amazing enough no hair pulling or fist fights. Some back up was on hand to help out keep them from burning down the house and eating the dog...
Hopefully be a quite day today
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Good day to all, halfway through my weekend I am on the one hand looking forward to the end of it to get my mind occupied on other things, on the other I know that I could use some more rest. Mentally things have not been smooth sailing for me, nothing serious, just ideas of judging where I am today instead of accepting things for what they are. So, I am working on my acceptance, patience, mindfulness ...
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I have an original 1st edition small book written by Francis Bacon...wonder if it’s worth anything?
Spotted a job online today, part time for 2 days a weeks at the Cats Protection charity Shop as the assistant manager. Not great pay but enough, so I applied! They will probs look at my CV and discount it due to my senior corporate history but thought it was worth a shot. I’d be much happier working for a charity and supporting cats and rehoming is right up my street. We’ll see I guess 😬 x
Spotted a job online today, part time for 2 days a weeks at the Cats Protection charity Shop as the assistant manager. Not great pay but enough, so I applied! They will probs look at my CV and discount it due to my senior corporate history but thought it was worth a shot. I’d be much happier working for a charity and supporting cats and rehoming is right up my street. We’ll see I guess 😬 x
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Grocery shopping done.
Watching UFC and slacking around.
Purple - I saw ads about kitten bows on Hallmark and always thought "Who in the world watches this". Now I know))
Watching UFC and slacking around.
Purple - I saw ads about kitten bows on Hallmark and always thought "Who in the world watches this". Now I know))
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Originally Posted by MantaLady
I have an original 1st edition small book written by Francis Bacon...wonder if it’s worth anything?
Spotted a job online today, part time for 2 days a weeks at the Cats Protection charity Shop as the assistant manager. Not great pay but enough, so I applied! They will probs look at my CV and discount it due to my senior corporate history but thought it was worth a shot. I’d be much happier working for a charity and supporting cats and rehoming is right up my street. We’ll see I guess 😬 x
Spotted a job online today, part time for 2 days a weeks at the Cats Protection charity Shop as the assistant manager. Not great pay but enough, so I applied! They will probs look at my CV and discount it due to my senior corporate history but thought it was worth a shot. I’d be much happier working for a charity and supporting cats and rehoming is right up my street. We’ll see I guess 😬 x
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
That is a worry Dragon haha!! I have only happened to come across Two cats online by accident who needed rehoming....and Oliver and Alfie have been very happy with me lol x
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Ok, weekenders. Before I start my cooking and overall preparation for the productive week I need some advice from you.
14 years ago, overnight from February 3d into February 4 my mother died.
She passed away at home. I called the ER twice back then, and the second time was when they pronounced her dead.
I remember waiting for ER the second time. I understood it was over, but the mind rejected to accept the reality. So I was scared to death.
I was standing in the dark room, my forehead leaning against the cool glass of the window, snow falling and visible in the light of street lamp.
Two hours later I was dealing with police (they had to do paper work that the death wasn’t criminal) and a funeral agent.
The weather was the same as it is now - a long streak of sunless, gloomy days with wet snow falling.
I can’t say that it’s extremely emotional for me now, but a lot of sad memories invade my brain space.
I put my phone on flight mode.
And here’s I am not sure - am I doing the right thing or my old habit of shutting the world out kicks in.
For example, if my “not a date” calls I don’t know how to explain why I am moody and and little bit in some self-pity situation.
One one hand, I feel like if I share this I will attract attention and sympathy showing my pain. And I don't want that kind of attention.
And I don’t want to overidentify with my pain. I don’t want to demand from people understanding ‘Oh, you are cruel beings, you don’t realize how hard it was for me and what I’ve been through to get where I am”.
On the other hand, my pain certainly influenced my life and I can’t deny it and pretend it didn’t .
So, I am really at a loss here.
As Hawkeye said the other day it’s the entire new country for us, people in recovery - to learn how to build relationships.
Doesn’t matter how these relationships go, it’s not about the particular person, it’s about the way I approach relationships in general.
Do I keep dragging the past, no matter how “understandable” it is, in new relationships, or do I give myself permission to finally move on?
It’s really tough question. Eventually, of course, it’s for me to decide.
But I would appreciate your thoughts.
Thank you.
14 years ago, overnight from February 3d into February 4 my mother died.
She passed away at home. I called the ER twice back then, and the second time was when they pronounced her dead.
I remember waiting for ER the second time. I understood it was over, but the mind rejected to accept the reality. So I was scared to death.
I was standing in the dark room, my forehead leaning against the cool glass of the window, snow falling and visible in the light of street lamp.
Two hours later I was dealing with police (they had to do paper work that the death wasn’t criminal) and a funeral agent.
The weather was the same as it is now - a long streak of sunless, gloomy days with wet snow falling.
I can’t say that it’s extremely emotional for me now, but a lot of sad memories invade my brain space.
I put my phone on flight mode.
And here’s I am not sure - am I doing the right thing or my old habit of shutting the world out kicks in.
For example, if my “not a date” calls I don’t know how to explain why I am moody and and little bit in some self-pity situation.
One one hand, I feel like if I share this I will attract attention and sympathy showing my pain. And I don't want that kind of attention.
And I don’t want to overidentify with my pain. I don’t want to demand from people understanding ‘Oh, you are cruel beings, you don’t realize how hard it was for me and what I’ve been through to get where I am”.
On the other hand, my pain certainly influenced my life and I can’t deny it and pretend it didn’t .
So, I am really at a loss here.
As Hawkeye said the other day it’s the entire new country for us, people in recovery - to learn how to build relationships.
Doesn’t matter how these relationships go, it’s not about the particular person, it’s about the way I approach relationships in general.
Do I keep dragging the past, no matter how “understandable” it is, in new relationships, or do I give myself permission to finally move on?
It’s really tough question. Eventually, of course, it’s for me to decide.
But I would appreciate your thoughts.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 125
Feeling pretty good this Sunday afternoon! I woke up thinking about all the things I wouldn’t have been able to do this weekend if I were drinking. Long list but the jist of it is that drinking for me even if not to crazy excess leads to me not being the person I want to be for my family and myself. It such poison and I’m so glad I’ve ditched it. 88 days and not looking back!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Midnight, I'm sorry you're dealing with memories today. I've lost all my family so it does come up. Sometimes it is okay and sometimes it bothers me. These days mostly I've dealt with it, but I don't talk about it much.
Second, not-a-date probably has some sad experiences in his past too. Do you feel like you don't deserve the compassion he would show you? Or are you afraid he wouldn't show compassion? I have found unfortunately that a lot of people say the absolute worst things when they are faced with these kinds of truths. I have come to the conclusion that people who have not experienced it just don't know what to say and it comes out sideways.
I tend to not talk about it with casual acquaintances because I get the "closure" speeches and/or the "smile" commands. So I don't really share my inner grief with people who I am not sure will treat it tenderly...and those people are few and far between. If I'm feeling fragile, I'll hole up until I'm not feeling fragile. Call it isolating or call it self-care. I choose to call it self-care.
Second, not-a-date probably has some sad experiences in his past too. Do you feel like you don't deserve the compassion he would show you? Or are you afraid he wouldn't show compassion? I have found unfortunately that a lot of people say the absolute worst things when they are faced with these kinds of truths. I have come to the conclusion that people who have not experienced it just don't know what to say and it comes out sideways.
I tend to not talk about it with casual acquaintances because I get the "closure" speeches and/or the "smile" commands. So I don't really share my inner grief with people who I am not sure will treat it tenderly...and those people are few and far between. If I'm feeling fragile, I'll hole up until I'm not feeling fragile. Call it isolating or call it self-care. I choose to call it self-care.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
Welcome to Weekenders serenitynowplz and congratulations on 88 days.
Guener, it was Weekender Gilmer who said to allow yourself a few minutes of each morning for regret or remorse for things but then move on and live the rest of the day which seemed to be a good compromise between ignoring feelings completely or getting too caught up in them.
Manta if you had a First Edition by Francis Bacon the 16th Century playwright that would be worth a fortune, not sure about the painter but you are bound to be able to find out online. Good luck with the moggie protection league.
MidnightBlue, similar to Guener, I would allow youself today for thoughts about your mum but get back to living in the present day on Monday.
Enjoy the SuperBowl and Puppy bowl guys.
Guener, it was Weekender Gilmer who said to allow yourself a few minutes of each morning for regret or remorse for things but then move on and live the rest of the day which seemed to be a good compromise between ignoring feelings completely or getting too caught up in them.
Manta if you had a First Edition by Francis Bacon the 16th Century playwright that would be worth a fortune, not sure about the painter but you are bound to be able to find out online. Good luck with the moggie protection league.
MidnightBlue, similar to Guener, I would allow youself today for thoughts about your mum but get back to living in the present day on Monday.
Enjoy the SuperBowl and Puppy bowl guys.
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