Meatball2

I am by no means a religous person. My mom was, and my sister is to some extent, I am not. Many prayers were done with mom over the last 4 weeks which I was a part of out of love and respect for my mom.

many people including those around me feel that when a person dies, their spirit is bruoght up to heaven, or to whereever your religon dictates.

I have another theory, one which I didnt understand, but formed after my dad passed away 11 years ago, and which has now been fully confirmed to me as being accurate. Call me crazy.

Science has shown a person loses 7-10 grams of weight, the moment they die. Some believe this is the spirit, leaving the body. I believe this to be accurate.

I think it is up to the individual, as to where they go, and when.

In my case, a lot of wierd things happened following my dad passing that I couldnt quite put my finger on. For instance the radial arm saw in my dads shop just stopped working one day. After checking all the components and everything, there is no reason why, it wouldnt work. but it didnt.

I was using it to cut firewood probably not the safest thing I have ever done lol.


Thats just one example out of atleast 3 dozen of the wierd things that happened over the course of 2 years.

now mom passes away. My sister is on her way home from hospice, her son in the back seat and her purse on the front passenger seat and suddenly her passenger side airbag activates, signalling someone is sitting in that seat. But its just her purse. were not talking a duffle bag purse, a small 1 pound purse if that...

The thermostat in my house has been set at 55, as I was trying to conserve fuel (I am on oil heat) and wasnt home alot because I was at the hospital... well I couldnt change the temp for over 2 weeks, figured it was broken and id fix it later... Sunday night, it worked fine. I have tried several times to turn it up to 60 and it wouldnt budge. now suddenly it works? odd.

Then monday morning, mind you its winter, i live in a well insulated house so outside sounds are highly muffled...

I wake up to birds LOUDLY chirping outside my bedroom window. I havent heard birds chirp in MONTHS! And they werent there this morning.

Then last night, sitting in my office, I was pretty emotional, I felt someone was here with me. But I am alone, I live alone with my animals.

but suddenly i was calm, i wouldnt say happy, but content and feeling pretty good actually.

i was visited.

I know this all may sound like I have lost my marbles, maybe I have? but I believe a persons spirit can travel the physical world at their leisure, and stay with their loved ones, and visit them at their leisure, can do things to let us physical people know they are there with out freaking us out.... Though sometimes they do freak us out if we arent 'aware'

Its up to them, if they decide to stay with us. I feel my mom, is 'around' and is staying with us, until she is satisfied that we will be ok with out her...

My dad visits me once in a great while, but mom is here with me, I dont feel her presence at the moment but she comes around.

Now understand, I do not believe in god, I think its we wont go there.

but I do believe in spirits, because I have experienced things logic can not explain.

so thats my theory.

Dee74

Hi meatball

Like my mate Bill Shakespeare said, 'there are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy'

I don't think you're crazy. When my grandmother died I began to smell her perfume at times - fair enough I was living in her house, but I'd smell even at the office, and she'd never been there.

I saw her a lot too in crowds - or thought I did. Imagination? my way of dealing with loss? something beyond my understanding? I don;t know but it gave me comfort - I hope those thing give you comfort too.

Gotta be better than drinking right?

Did you manage to stop drinking again after that drink a few days back?

D

Bonniefloyd

Meatball2

no.

but the barrel of a gun is starting to look very welcoming..... my fear, is I wont have the freedom of that of my mom. or moms spirate will reject me

Dee74

Grief and alcohol is a bad mix man.

Please think about calling someone for some help, ok?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html

bexxed

What you’re talking about here are miracles. Don’t miss out on the other miracles to come when you greet these small ones with reception to their message - that life itself is a miracle that we choose to create. Hold on for it, please use the resource Dee posted above.

DontRemember

Dude..call/talk someone/us. I 'dealt' with the death of my grandma(that I put my life on hold to care for,for the better part of 4yrs) last year. I went to my normal poker game the next night and was trying to fight people..I was outta my head! Grief is a bltch and I had forgotten(like we all do) how hard it 'hits'. Dealing with some medical stuff with my mother now and while it does suck..I'm sober and that's what she wants for me/her/everyone... Hang in there.

JustTony

Hi Meatball,

I’ve been there. Believe me. My grief was so intense I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t eat for days (my wife said it was 4 or 5 days where I literally took a few sips of water and that was it). I found myself walking, walking, walking, walking and ending up in places in a daze and not knowing where I was. I spent hours on Google researching how to finish my own time on Earth the pain was so unbearable.

People make inane comments about grief and time etc. A persons ability to say anything sensible in such times is normally lacking....

I experienced all the phenomenons you are describing and I too do not believe in a God (in the theist sense of the word at least). But I too hope there is a spirit within us that goes on somehow? In fact it is all that drives me in in my darker moments when I hope to see the love of my life on Earth just one more time when I pass.

You’re in my thoughts.

Tony.

HTown

I have a bad sense of smell. A week or so after my wife died I woke up smelling her perfume. It woke me up. I had removed her things from the bathroom as soon as she was in Hospice so there had been no perfume for 6 weeks.

I went back to sleep and the perfume woke me up again.
Only that one night, but I knew it was her.
She has moved on now, probably already back as a baby she had much unfinished work to do.

DarklingSong

Support to you. I too find comfort that my loved ones are close by at times. I like to believe their energy is back free in the universe.

Delilah1

Hi Meatball,

My grandma died right after I graduated high school. We were very close, and I was staying in her apartment the night she died. I saw her that night, she to,d me she was okay, and she looked like she had before cancer. I can still vividly remember that moment.

When my mom died on December 26th I was positive she would visit me when I fell asleep, and I was really upset that she didn't. The next night before bed I was talking to my 11 year old and he was really upset about my mom dying. He knew my husband and I were flying back to NY the next morning for the funeral, and he was trying to process. He asked me if we can still talk tongrandma. I told him yes. He asked do we oraybtonher, and I said yes. As I kissed him goodnight he to,d me he was going to pray to grandma, I told him I was going to do the same. I went into my room and was reading on my iPad because I couldn't sleep. Suddenly I got this feeling, incanno describe, it was like a warm and cold sensation, and I felt like I was in some sort of trance. My mom said I love you. I know it was her. The next morning we were up really early, and I had old my husband dactlybwhat happened. About 20 minutes later my son came into our room and said "Mommy last night I was praying to grandma, and it got really quiet, and I could hear my heart beating, thenni got this weird feeling all over, and heard grandma says"I love you." It was almost exactly what I had felt, my husband said he wouldn't have believed me if he hadn't heard both of us describe almost the exact same thing separately.

I know lots of people have differnn beliefs, but I truly believe it was her. Maybe it took her a day to make her way from NY to California.

I hope you are able to find som support to help you get sober. I know how ha d it is right now, but I promise it is better with sobriety.

❤️Delilah

Stayingsassy

Hi meatball. Thanks for sharing.

The night of my fathers death I was in so much pain I couldn’t think. I was tense, my entire body hurt and I couldn’t stop crying. I fell asleep, and during sleep I was enveloped with an overwhelming sense of calm. There were no people in my dream. Only shifting scenes. In one, I was in a pile of blankets. In the next, I was standing in a meadow staring at the woods, with a river rushing behind me. In another, I was staring at the ocean. No people. No sounds. No feelings. Just calm. And the scenes.

I was wakened by the loudest cacophony of birds I have ever heard. It had been dreary, cloudy and quiet outside in recent weeks, but the morning after my dad’s death outside the front and back window of my bedroom there was the sound of hundreds of birds taking flight from trees. Squawking and calling and shouting birds with multitudinous flapping sounds. Then silence.

I believe he visited me.

Two nights ago around 10pm, my mom was walking in the dark down a long back room of their house. She saw something in the pool. Shocked and concerned, she went up to the window. It was a pair of mallards, male and female, floating, eyes shining back at her in the dark. It was the first time she had seen ducks in the pool in 40 years.

These things may not be signs. But they feel like signs, and they feel like signals he would send to comfort us.

My father really loved birds.

Dee74

Meatball how are you doing?

D

Delilah1

Sorry for the typos earlier, that's what I get for trying to check in and type during my lunch break!!!

Meatball, how are you doing tonight?

Cosima11

I'm not religious (don't believe in heaven or hell) but I do believe our spirits live on after death and can visit/inhabit this realm. I didn't have much personal experience with death until recently but I have had a couple experiences in my younger years with what I believed to be "spirits" of people who had either lived or died in a certain location and still frequently visited that place. Which I realize makes me sound like a complete lunatic but it is what it is.

After my sister's boyfriend died I "met" him in a dream and he showed me this bright light that I described as "bliss" when I explained it to my sister.. He was a heroin addict and I guess had told her that's why he kept going back to it.. it was bliss. So she thought maybe it meant he'd found that and was happy now. Who really knows? Not me but I do believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience here on earth.

Stayingsassy

I don’t think any of us think you sound like a complete lunatic.

I think alcoholics in recovery are much more in touch with the spiritual than most other people. We’ve been awakened, in a way.

DarklingSong

Meatball, I am thinking of you. Check in when you can.

Meraviglioso

Thinking of you Meatball, I hope you will check in.

I will share this story of a beautiful moment just at the moment of death.
My younger son is on the autism spectrum and one the characteristics of this when he was younger was that he could not stand touch in any form. He did not want to be touched or to touch anyone else. Not even by me, his mother, I could never hold him or snuggle with him or kiss him. We showed love in other ways that didn't involve touch.

He was particularly close to his great-grandmother, they had a very special relationship. She became very ill and her last moments were upon us. We had set up a hospital bed in the living room and she was there, unable to speak or move, in her very last moments. My younger son, about 4 at the time, suddenly went over to her bed, climbed up on the bed an laid with her, touched her face and gave her a kiss and then got down and walked away. She died just a short time later. Everyone who witnessed this was in shock by the beauty of the moment.

Death is really very painful but there can be some beauty surrounding the event if you look for it- just as you have witnessed for yourself.

I will be thinking of you. I hope the memories and these special moments you have experienced will give you some peace.

Delilah1

Hi Meatball,

Checking in to see how you're doing today.

Meatball2

not good. I made a new post...People say to not forget about you... yep, thats me... 16hrs a day of sleep, most days i dont eat. sleeping pills and vodka - good stuff.

My company, which is largely idle during the winter, is on the back burner. I have delegated tasks as they come forth.

this has been absolutely disasterous on my psyche