90 days dream ended - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-29-2019, 12:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 39

90 days dream ended


To save the trouble of browsing through my old posts - got sober in 2014, several detoxes. A year later got pregnant, lost my mom to cancer during pregnancy. The baby arrived safely, but I relapsed hard when he was 1.3y old (including 3 weeks inpatient rehab).
Got out of rehab, still some struggle but I promised myself that making it to 90 days sober will make a huge difference. It did! On 90th I found out I was pregnant again! So planned and prayed for!
But now that the second baby is 5 months I have relapsed again....
I am a primary caregiver not only to two young children but also to my grandma whose health declined rapidly in October.
Confesed to my husband that I have been drinking today. He didnít buy it.. he knows itís been 2 weeks, not only today.
With all the sky-high anxiety (seeing a doc, I am prescribed medication, does not really work anymore) I am at loss.
I need to stop but I am deep down into my cravings and self medicating for anxiety
Husband will leave me and take the kiddos if I donít quit..
Ugnius is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Ugnius For This Useful Post:
Anna (01-29-2019), D122y (01-30-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Doris47 (01-30-2019), Healthyandsober (01-29-2019), Magellan (01-29-2019), mnjen (01-29-2019), OtterIsland (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 12:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,155
I'm really sorry to read your story. I know from experience that I thought my anxiety meds didn't work either. It is only when I stop drinking that I feel better. I know that drinking affects the meds so they don't work and drinking makes me even more depressed and anxious.

I have a child although older and know how hard it can be when they are young. Seriously, it is so much easier when sober. There are people on here who have lost custody of their children because of drinking so please take it seriously. It can and does happen to people who really wouldn't expect it.

Have you tried AA or got other f2f support? What did you used last time to get and stay sober? Can you do that again. Maybe AVRT or SMART. You're obviosuly under such a lot of pressure and need help. Can you put the kids in nursery 1 afternoon/day and get to meetings or something.

I wish you well.
ReadyAtLast is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Doris47 (01-30-2019), mcconnth2017 (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 12:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 52,059
I'm glad you posted. Obviously, it's very important for you to get sober and remain in recovery, in order to be able to be the mother you want to be. You've been sober for long periods of time, so you know how to do it. The hard thing is to live a balanced life so that relapsing doesn't happen. But, you can come up with a plan that will help you to remain sober long-term.

I, too, self-medicated for anxiety issues. The thing is that alcohol causes more anxiety in your life and it doesn't help. You can find healthy ways to manage your anxiety and, I think you will find that you feel better.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Doris47 (01-30-2019), least (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 12:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 39
Thank you so much for the prompt support! I know I need a trip to my doc to fill a prescription or change meds but due to the amount of drinking today I surely cannot drive tomorrow (especially since I have to take the baby with me, but it does not make a difference, DUI is off the table, sure).
The only thing Iím sure of is that drinking, sneaking drinks and hiding it is too much work.
And hubby is no fool, he knows my history with alcohol, he will spot right away if I have been drinking again.
I need to do this for myself and my amazing kids!
Ugnius is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ugnius For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Doris47 (01-30-2019), Magellan (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 12:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 78
You can do this. I know how hard it is to stop. I too have two young ones. And Iím on day 2. But letís get some momentum and it will get easier with each day.
Cleopatra4 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cleopatra4 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Doris47 (01-30-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 01:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 80,653
Blog Entries: 32
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
__________________
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

least is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Doris47 (01-30-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 01:34 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 11,335
You can definitely do this, for you and for your kids. Getting in to see your doctor is a great first step, have them help you with the anxiety management.

What did you do after rehab in the past to help you stay sober? Are you home with your kiddos all day long? Are you able to schedule any time for you? That is important for recoverynas well, even just a short walk, or a class, bath, something just for you.
__________________
Delilah

ďIt is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.Ē
― Ernest Hemingway

Sobriety Date: January 1, 2016
Delilah1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Delilah1 For This Useful Post:
Doris47 (01-30-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 05:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 179,244
Blog Entries: 1
Hi and welcome back Ugnius

I think seeing the Dr would be a great first step,

Not sure where you stand on things like AA (or SMART Recovery, Lifering...any meeting based support) but is that something you'd consider to help you stop drinking and stay stopped?

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Doris47 (01-30-2019), Tetrax (01-29-2019)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:33 AM.