Blogs


Notices

mom.... died

Old 01-28-2019, 10:13 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 44
mom.... died

ill explain myself later...

but shes here with me now, not physically, not an illusion

spiritually..

I am calm. and feel a sense of wierd warmth and calm.

right now as i type this things are good.. not so much before..

i have a theory regarding death, and it goes against just about everyone, but my experience so far has proved true...

ill post it diff thread..



my mom, talk to her 3-10x a week... often late... we talk


had MASSIVE stroke, about a month ago..

life changing.... she came out the other side without the abilit to speak.

I slowly began to learn, her language. And the family quickly realized that I had a distinct affect on her.

mom would listen, to me, and me only. I tell her to be nice and behave with the staff, and shed be have. I used this 'advantage' to tell mom exact what why things around her were happening. and where she was.

long story short mom ended up in hospice.

i was with mom at the very end, and mom made sure i wasnt alone in the room, a nurse was present to give mom a bath.

the pain.. i feel from losing my mom is leaps and bonds larger than losing my dad.

i dont remember losing dad to be this gut wrenching.

mind you me and dad were close. I wouldnt be, where I am today, with out my dad.

losing mom?

I pray to that ******* people call god for a heart attack at night.... my friends, close firneds say i shouldnt say that... lose both parents... then come talk to me...

im 37 years old. i cant have kids, dont go there..

i have my sister... oil and water..

i put my entire life on hold for my mom.

call it benefits to being self employed.

and now?

every future thought makes me cry.
Meatball2 is offline  
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to Meatball2 For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), aasharon90 (01-29-2019), Anna (01-29-2019), Awake61 (01-29-2019), ChloeRose63 (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Fearlessat50 (01-29-2019), Hawkeye13 (01-29-2019), Hevyn (01-29-2019), JustTony (01-28-2019), Magellan (01-29-2019), MantaLady (01-29-2019), mnjen (01-29-2019), MythOfSisyphus (01-28-2019), PhoenixJ (01-30-2019), saoutchik (01-29-2019), Soberwolf (01-29-2019), Stayingsassy (01-28-2019), Suzieq17 (01-29-2019), Upstairs (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 10:15 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
ReadyAtLast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 6,814
I am so sorry for your loss. There is a great deal of support here which will hopefully be of some comfort .
ReadyAtLast is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ReadyAtLast For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Fearlessat50 (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 10:26 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Wastinglife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,520
Lost my mom suddenly 2 months ago mate. It's been hard for me because I hadn't seen her in 2 years. First really close family member to die. Have nightmares about her dying alone in the night in palliative care. She fell in coma and I was too far away to make it. She passed out in coma and died within hours. Passed out in coma. She was riddled with cancer and no one knew.
.
Wastinglife is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Wastinglife For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Fearlessat50 (01-29-2019), Magellan (01-29-2019), Stayingsassy (01-28-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 10:51 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 186,561
Blog Entries: 1
We're here for you meatball

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Awake61 (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 10:57 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 2,959
I lost my dad ten days ago on 1/18/19. It was an enormous loss for me.

He didnít get the benefit of hospice and I wasnít there when he died. He died an hour before I got there.

Youíre not alone.
Stayingsassy is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Stayingsassy For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Magellan (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 11:02 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Dustitoffman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 332
Sorry for your loss!
Dustitoffman is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dustitoffman For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 11:10 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Earth Child
 
SerenityRiver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,000
Blog Entries: 2
((((( meatball2 ))))) am so sorry for your loss , i lost my dad 9 years ago my mother is toxic so i have lost her too but she is alive

praying for you
SerenityRiver is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SerenityRiver For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Awake61 (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 11:15 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ayers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 941
Ayers is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ayers For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 11:17 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
JustTony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,465
Sincerest condolences.

Nothing good comes from losing those that we love so much.

JT
JustTony is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JustTony For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 11:18 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 212
Blog Entries: 4
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad just before Christmas and life hasn't been the same since. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
labgirl is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to labgirl For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Stayingsassy (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-28-2019, 11:20 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 49
I'm so very sorry for your loss...
Anustart is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Anustart For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Wastinglife (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 02:15 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
My Own Muse
 
ChloeRose63's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Posts: 16,241
I lost my mom in Oct 2018.
Sorry for your loss. You have alot of support here.
ChloeRose63 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ChloeRose63 For This Useful Post:
AAPJ (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Stayingsassy (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 06:52 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 12,061
I'm so sorry Meatball, I know there are no words right now, except that we are all here to support you st this time. I lost my mom December 26th, and it was so much harder than when I lost my dad in 2010. I think there is something about losing that second parent that makes it really difficult.

I've been doing a lot of reading on grief, I ordered a few books on Amazon, I will share the titles if you're interested. I've also cried quite a bit. I spend some time each day remembering all of the amazing things about my mom.

I know how difficult the next few days will be as you say your final goodbyes. Sending you lots of love and prayers, and my very deepest sympathies.

❤️Delilah
Delilah1 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Delilah1 For This Useful Post:
Stayingsassy (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 08:26 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Suzieq17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 322
Big hugs and much love to you from me. We are here for you.
Suzieq17 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Suzieq17 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 09:27 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 2,959
I know the grief support here on SR has been wonderful for me in some of my dark moments, not wanting to burden my mom or my brother with some of this. It was a surprising place to find so much help.

I can give advice about quitting drinking but right now Iím pretty useless with helping people with their grief. Iím down in that pit too.
Stayingsassy is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Stayingsassy For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 09:41 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Upstairs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Glen Allen, Va
Posts: 2,210
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Upstairs is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Upstairs For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 09:53 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
saoutchik
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 12,994
Sorry for you loss Meatball - it sounds like you had a great relationship though which must be a comfort.
saoutchik is online now  
The Following User Says Thank You to saoutchik For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 02:41 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 44
My dad died alone.

I begged my mom, to not die alone. I wanted her to be with either me or my sister when she lets go...

I did xmas with mom that morning, just me and her and her dogs. I didnt open her presents because I wanted to wait for her.

but decided that I may lose this oppertunity to share it with mom.

I am a very hard person to buy presents for.

Mom got me a wierd gourmet coffee maker (mom used to drink a gallon a day of coffee) and 2 pairs of really nice work gloves...

those 3 gifts from mom were the hardest presents I have ever opened. I saved the label from the first one.

15 minutes afterward an aid came in to wash mom, and then, she gasped. then nothing, i told the aid we are not doing this now and sent a text to my sister to get back here... (she was at urgent care with her son) mom gasped again, I told her I love her, she opened her eyes the first time in 3 days looked right at me, with a tear in her left eye, gasped again and was gone.

She did xmas with me. she gave me a real hand squeeze after presents...

and she let go with me with her, and made sure i wasnt alone, when she went. Mom didnt want to die with me being alone in the room. She made sure I wasnt.

She went peacefully and with grace.

my sister showed up 20 minutes later.

mom spent 3 days in hospice, and my sister and cousin were basically living there with mom. I spent the last night with mom.
Meatball2 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Meatball2 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-29-2019), Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Fearlessat50 (01-29-2019), JustTony (01-29-2019), Soberwolf (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 05:09 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Bonniefloyd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 759
So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself. ❤️
Bonniefloyd is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Bonniefloyd For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019)
Old 01-29-2019, 06:06 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hawkeye13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 9,252
I'm so glad you were with her
I wasn't with my mom when she died and I am sad years later about that.

Hawkeye13 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Hawkeye13 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (01-29-2019), Stayingsassy (01-30-2019)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:47 PM.