Mandy73

Hi. I have been struggling with my own drinking for many years, decades really being a 'functional alcoholic'. I have a little over 3 weeks sober.

My son has mental health issues compounded with serious drug amd alcohol addictions.

It's been very hard on our family as he has been residing with us (hes moving out next week). Iys been so stressful for me.

i started attending Al-anon meetings a cpl weeks ago and I just feel like a bit of a hypocrite i guess. Im thete because I love someone with a problem but Im also a recovering alcoholic.
ive only been a cpl times and dont even really feel comfortable, i feel very vulnerable. I dont know if i should be thrre but i dont knpw how to help my son and need support. Sigh
ty for listening

JustTony

Hi Mandy,

I'm not in AA - nor do I have a family member with the problems you describe.

I just wanted to welcome you to SR and say thank you for sharing your story with us.

I know there is a family and friends section on SR (never been there myself). Maybe you will meet a few people there with similar issues?

MindfulMan

I'd say take care of your own sobriety before worrying about your son's recovery. You can't really help others if you don't take care of yourself.

You've been going to al-anon to deal with your son's drinking. What is your own recovery plan?

tomsteve

there are quite a few members of AA that attend al anon.
however,al anon isnt about helping the alcoholic in our lives. its about helping those effected by someone elses drinking.

Mango212

Hi Mandy,

Congratulations on your recovery!

I wrote this today:

I'm not alcoholic. I do relate in many ways, attend occasional open AA meetings and yesterday had several AA members step in to help me through some life issues.

My Al-Anon home group is full of double winners. (AA/Al-Anon)

One day at a time. More will be revealed. The only requirement for membership in Al-anon is a problem of alcoholism with a friend or family member.

The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to quit drinking.

Higher Power tends to lead us where we're meant to be as we're willing. I typically don't know someone is a member of AA unless I go to open meetings and see my Al-Anon friends there. Anonymity is a wonderful cornerstone of all 12 step programs, along with acceptance of self and others, just as we are.

Mandy73

My desire to attend Al Anon was not so much about trying to solve my sons issues but how to find support and help for myself from others who.have been through it. Its also helping my own journey listening to how alcohol has affected others. It strengthens my resolve to remain sober.

Lonewolf22

Hi Mandy. I think you are best off finding resources online if you are not comfortable in that environment. No point fighting how you feel
I find YouTube has a growing number of blogs with people who have battled alcoholism.

I disagree with the view that you should just focus on yourself. At the end of the day he 's your son and whether you are in recovery or not, you are going to be concerned about him. Finding advice and support on the situation may help you to deal with your emotions on the matter and enable you to cope better.

If I come across any useful resources on your situation I will post it in the thread for you because I wouldn't know what to suggest to you. I've never been in your situation.

Is he getting any help at the moment, either for his mental health or addiction?

DontRemember

I started to go to Al-anon when I was still with my GF. I was waiting to have a solid footing in my own sobriety time before I went, for the same reason you metion,but after a several months of AA and with a clear mind, I just ended things instead. LOL obviously you can't do that. I did post here in the F&F section in place of al-anon support. It's a good place.

Congrats on your 3wks! I'll also say during my first 90days I was trying to 'fix' everything and everyone and I wanted it all fixed/better 'right now'. That hardly ever worked out. Once I focused on ME and MY part(s) most things fell in place,while others(my exgf for example) were a lost cause and either went away or I went away from them.

Dee74

I know many people who go to both Mandy - being an alcoholic yourself doesn't make you ineligible for alanon

Trying anything new is always a little difficult and uncomfortable, I think - if you need support, I'd keep going for sure

D