I'm new :)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 38
I'm new :)
Hey guys, I'm new to this site 
Need help staying sober. Can't seem to get past that 6 month mark....it's when the boredom and restlessness gets the best of me.
I'm looking for experience, strength, and hope
What do you love about being sober? How do you manage being around friends who are drinking?
I'm not terribly interested in 12-step, tried it before, cannot get on board with the higher power thing.
Happy to be here!
Need help staying sober. Can't seem to get past that 6 month mark....it's when the boredom and restlessness gets the best of me.
I'm looking for experience, strength, and hope
What do you love about being sober? How do you manage being around friends who are drinking?
I'm not terribly interested in 12-step, tried it before, cannot get on board with the higher power thing.
Happy to be here!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 985
Welcome SkyBird! I only have day 24; due to my health and the loss of a job, I had to face my daily drinking. It has given me a sense of hope that everything is not doomed. I'm on this site all the time to stay sober. I encourage you to join the January 2019 group. It's a great thread.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,441
hi and welcome skybird
getting sober was only phase one for me - phase two was building a sober life I was happy in and didn't want to leave....a life of meaning and the right balance between fun and work to keep sob er me interested
How much of phase two have you done?
D
getting sober was only phase one for me - phase two was building a sober life I was happy in and didn't want to leave....a life of meaning and the right balance between fun and work to keep sob er me interested
How much of phase two have you done?
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family, SB. The best thing I did to strengthen my sobriety was to practice gratitude every day. It gave me a whole new outlook on life. It can make you happier too.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
The best thing I did to strengthen my sobriety was to practice gratitude every day. It gave me a whole new outlook on life. It can make you happier too. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
Skybird - love the name Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
^I was thinking the same thing
Welcome Skybird
FIrstly, I wasn't quite sure how many days of sobriety you had under your belt? Wasn't sure if you were at the 6 month mark and sober but struggling or at the six month and find yourself drinking again?
I'm only on day 11 so can't really give you an experienced opinion but I can give you a general outline of how I feel.
Well like you AA doesn't resonate for me, in fact I probably don't like being part of any group. I like to be able to have the space to think independently. So, at the moment I only use this forum and it has been super helpful to me getting through each day.
I thought about this the other day actually. I thought what if somehow I stopped having access to this forum, how would I feel, and I think it would be so much harder without having soberrecovery at hand.
Now I'm not aware of your situation but I think the fact you are bored says something and most definitely you should look to build a life that isn't boring for you. Boredom means you aren't doing what you want to do, so I guess it's worth asking what would you like your life to look like and how viable is that?
I don't have any friends but being a such an early stage in recovery, there is no way I could put myself in a situation around drinkers at the moment. I'm too impulsive a person that it wouldn't take long for me to press the 'feck it' button. And I'd be so frustrated if I did that when I am starting to feel better in myself and have things in place to fix other aspects of my life.
I think maybe a lot of people in recovery find it daunting when they think of never drinking again. I remember the many times I've fell on my arse again that thought bothered me. Now though if that thought pops up I give myself reason as to why for the moment I cannot drink.
The reasons are, I feel ten times worse when I drink, dealing with hangover after hangover after hangover. I might as well throw my money away when I drink because it is ultimately a waste. I'm tired of humiliating myself and consequently feeling worthless. And I am reversing any progress that is possible by not drinking when I do drink!
Who knows in a few years I might try drinking and see how I do cope with it but at the moment I know I can't drink for a good few years, at least, when I'm in this state of mind. I have tried for years to do so and it has never ended well for me. I am no better off now than I was ten years ago and that's depressing for me. Actually another thing that worries me is recently seeing stories about what people have done when they have been drunk. I heard a story the other day about a guy who stabbed his friend when On a binge over christmas. He got sentences to 14 years in jail. And I'd be a fool to think that couldn't possibly happen to me because when I black out I don't know what the hell I'm capable of. That worry is just too stressful, I don't want to live with that anymore.
If you give your area a good search for events, groups, volunteering, organisations etc. You can sometimes be surprised by what you find
Just over the last week I've found two things in my area thAt I'm really interested in joining.
Welcome Skybird
FIrstly, I wasn't quite sure how many days of sobriety you had under your belt? Wasn't sure if you were at the 6 month mark and sober but struggling or at the six month and find yourself drinking again?
I'm only on day 11 so can't really give you an experienced opinion but I can give you a general outline of how I feel.
Well like you AA doesn't resonate for me, in fact I probably don't like being part of any group. I like to be able to have the space to think independently. So, at the moment I only use this forum and it has been super helpful to me getting through each day.
I thought about this the other day actually. I thought what if somehow I stopped having access to this forum, how would I feel, and I think it would be so much harder without having soberrecovery at hand.
Now I'm not aware of your situation but I think the fact you are bored says something and most definitely you should look to build a life that isn't boring for you. Boredom means you aren't doing what you want to do, so I guess it's worth asking what would you like your life to look like and how viable is that?
I don't have any friends but being a such an early stage in recovery, there is no way I could put myself in a situation around drinkers at the moment. I'm too impulsive a person that it wouldn't take long for me to press the 'feck it' button. And I'd be so frustrated if I did that when I am starting to feel better in myself and have things in place to fix other aspects of my life.
I think maybe a lot of people in recovery find it daunting when they think of never drinking again. I remember the many times I've fell on my arse again that thought bothered me. Now though if that thought pops up I give myself reason as to why for the moment I cannot drink.
The reasons are, I feel ten times worse when I drink, dealing with hangover after hangover after hangover. I might as well throw my money away when I drink because it is ultimately a waste. I'm tired of humiliating myself and consequently feeling worthless. And I am reversing any progress that is possible by not drinking when I do drink!
Who knows in a few years I might try drinking and see how I do cope with it but at the moment I know I can't drink for a good few years, at least, when I'm in this state of mind. I have tried for years to do so and it has never ended well for me. I am no better off now than I was ten years ago and that's depressing for me. Actually another thing that worries me is recently seeing stories about what people have done when they have been drunk. I heard a story the other day about a guy who stabbed his friend when On a binge over christmas. He got sentences to 14 years in jail. And I'd be a fool to think that couldn't possibly happen to me because when I black out I don't know what the hell I'm capable of. That worry is just too stressful, I don't want to live with that anymore.
If you give your area a good search for events, groups, volunteering, organisations etc. You can sometimes be surprised by what you find
Just over the last week I've found two things in my area thAt I'm really interested in joining.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 500
Boredom is what kills me too! When I stay busy, being sober is so easy! When nothing is going on and I'm just sitting there....trouble trouble trouble. I haven't given in to temptation yet, and don't plan on it. Just wish I could always be busy.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Surrey, UK
Posts: 222
Hello and welcome. I've not done as well as you before. The best I've managed was 5 months a few years back. I'm on day 25 today and very confident.
I used to think it was possible to go without then start having the occasional drink and that would be fine, but it doesn't work for me, so just not a drinker anymore.
I used to think it was possible to go without then start having the occasional drink and that would be fine, but it doesn't work for me, so just not a drinker anymore.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
I'm new, I've failed before many times, but this site gives me hope an strength, I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't count days anymore, it feels like I'm sacrificing something if that makes sense.
I also get bored quickly,which soon leads to a path of destruction. So for me, keeping busy is key, I wish you much love on your journey 🙏
I also get bored quickly,which soon leads to a path of destruction. So for me, keeping busy is key, I wish you much love on your journey 🙏
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome. You've found a great place for support.
I drank alcoholicly for thirty years.
I now have ten years sober.
I hit some pretty low bottoms and bounced right back into drinking, thinking it would be some how different this time after being sober for four days.
It never was different. I was back to my old ways in no time.
I managed seven months once. But I was doing my laundry and thought that would be a good time to drink. And I did for another five years.
Cunning, baffling and powerful is alcoholism.
I did go to AA. I found a higher power in the group dynamic.
Here were people, as on this forum, who were solving our common problem with drink.
I found this forum and found the same thing.
It didn't happen over night, but every time I slipped, I kept on trying. I never gave up trying.
I hope you don't, either.
Sobriety is possible no matter how low we've sank.
I wish the same for you. Save yourself some misery and quit. I did and I was a bad drunk.
So, best to you and stick around.
I drank alcoholicly for thirty years.
I now have ten years sober.
I hit some pretty low bottoms and bounced right back into drinking, thinking it would be some how different this time after being sober for four days.
It never was different. I was back to my old ways in no time.
I managed seven months once. But I was doing my laundry and thought that would be a good time to drink. And I did for another five years.
Cunning, baffling and powerful is alcoholism.
I did go to AA. I found a higher power in the group dynamic.
Here were people, as on this forum, who were solving our common problem with drink.
I found this forum and found the same thing.
It didn't happen over night, but every time I slipped, I kept on trying. I never gave up trying.
I hope you don't, either.
Sobriety is possible no matter how low we've sank.
I wish the same for you. Save yourself some misery and quit. I did and I was a bad drunk.
So, best to you and stick around.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by WhoDeyPI 
Boredom is what kills me too! When I stay busy, being sober is so easy! When nothing is going on and I'm just sitting there....trouble trouble trouble. I haven't given in to temptation yet, and don't plan on it. Just wish I could always be busy.
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