Guener

I used my talents to make drinking simple for a long time, I was lucky at that, until it caught up to me and things became simple to the point where I could not take care of anything, including myself. It took me a long time to recover from the damage I did to my ability to do even the basics like having a roof over my head, putting food before myself, dealing with real thoughts instead of evading them, being considered trustworthy, feeling like I was living instead of dying. Alcoholism is pretty simple when you think about it, and the results are just as easily predictable unless you are in a fantasy world. But only for so long.

listae

All I know is that the extent of my hangovers, unexpected vomiting, and lack of any savings did not make my life simple. I was so gone in the malaise of either drinking or facing hangover symptoms that I did not even notice that my liver was damaged. I drank every night for twenty years. Then one day I lost the job of a lifetime. Now, I face being unemployed and approaching fifty. Yes, daily all I thought about was my next drink. I escaped my life responsibilities. I have a hard time with the stress of taking care of myself and being responsible for daily matters.

lessgravity

Hope you get through this tough stretch but like many others, I truly cannot relate. Nothing was better, everything was worse. The stress and troubles I face sober now were there the whole time I was drinking And there was nothing simple at all about the terrible internal conflict between wanting to quit drinking and live a more meaningful life v. continuing to feed the beast.

PalmerSage

If by "simple" you mean "small," I agree - but I wouldn't trade sobriety for anything.

elhen

Being a drunk is to live a selfish, self indulgent life, in my view.
I felt guilty, constantly, for wanting to opt out of reality and being of no use to anyone, infact for being of harm to everyone who loved me, dragging them down with me. And causing needless harm and problems to myself.
I do believe addiction is a brain disease at worst and malfunction at best. But people can and do overcome it. My greatest wish is to become of use on this earth to other people and good causes, just to be of some USE.
So being a drunk, ie opting out of life and living might be simpler (ie thinking only of me, me,me and serving my drive to acquire more alcohol) But it's not the person I want to be, not the life I want to live

elhen

You know we all on this earth have problems. In my youth, most of my problems were made infinity worst by my alcoholic demented father. He single handedly destroyed my ability to get out of the poverty trap I was born into with his alcohol fuelled paranoia. My first husband was an addict, but I didn't find his behaviour strange as it was normal to me. Normal became strange behaviour to me. Ingestion of a poison has become normal to our society. Alcohol is a poison. Thanks to the billion of pounds shoved into promoting this stuff as "enjoyable" it now killsv10 million people a year

PennyLane76

Hi Whisker. I'm not sure how long you have been sober? It took me awhile to feel mentally stable, but it's worth it. The obsession about when I would start drinking, how I could hide it from everyone how I could get through the day with a hangover, how could I cover up drinking related falls and accidents wasnt simple. When you are dealing with true emotions that you blunted with drinking it can be hard. You can get through it, it's worth it to live. Alcohol wants to kill us.

FreeOwl

yeah..... it was pretty simple to ignore my responsibilities, commitments and concerns by getting drunk.

Of course - ultimately that complicated things a lot more.

I can say that in sobriety - my life isn't simpler. It's complex, complicated, busy, sometimes even a little overwhelming.

But - it's awesome.

I'd take this complicated, rewarding, rich and present life over a simple drunken wasted one any day.

tomsteve

maybe its that ya cared about little else but the little else suffered because you were drunk.
being a responsible adult isnt always easy but i'll take it over being the selfish selfcentered child i was.

SoberCAH

Glad you got that off your chest, Whiskerton.

That's what we're all here for.

And we're all glad you're here.

Your depiction of the alcoholic life leaves out some critical components of my alcoholic life - namely, terror, bewilderment, frustration and despair, or, as we say in AA, the 4 horsemen of misery.

I would also add abject fear and low self-esteem to that list.

But that's just me.

My life today seems to have a lot more complexity, particularly because many people, clients and otherwise, seem to want my help these days.

I have worked 7 days straight and don't know when my next day off will be.

But my job is simple - try to learn and do God's will for me everyday (an observation also noted by the late Mother Teresa).