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elhen 01-23-2019 11:39 AM

Sometimes you just know
I said elsewhere I haven't drank for over 2 weeks now, longest for a long time. Before that I had an 8 day binge and didn't drink for 10 days.
But the last time I drank I drank for 1 day. Then I thought I'm sick of this and next day poured away the bottle of wine I had in the fridge. This is unknown for me.
I have been hospitalised several through drinking, been put in a police cell a few times, caused untold trouble with people I care about but nothing would put me off drinking more.
I don't know why I just decided enough was enough when nothing bad happened and I managed to stop after a day, but I did and I'm glad I did.

Stronger2017 01-23-2019 02:05 PM

Thatís good to hear Elhen. You really can get and stay sober if you want it enough.

August252015 01-23-2019 02:07 PM

Your title and post make me wonder - what is it you "just know"? For me, it was that I was DONE drinking. I hope that is where you are now.

Awake61 01-23-2019 02:24 PM

Very inspiring post that I relate to. Thank you so much for sharing.

WeThinkNot 01-23-2019 03:12 PM

The term used is "spontaneous sobriety" and it happened to me as well. I found the term by googling to see if anybody had the same experience I did.

On the night of April 13th 2017 I was drinking as I did every night and I was planning on doing subsequent nights for the foreseeable future. I gulped the last of my whiskey and wasn't anywhere near where I needed to be because of my astronomical tolerance. It was too late to go to the store and I didn't have any more liquor on me.

In the dark with only the TV providing some light I had a moment of clarity. I told myself I wasn't happy, I didn't want to live like this anymore, and I was finished. Somehow my gut was telling me I wasn't joking this time but that I really meant it.

How it happened to me or anybody else is anybody's guess. I kept hitting new low after new low and was on the express lane to an early grave. I thought I was a lost cause. Then just like that...poof my compulsions were gone.

Good luck on your journey.

elhen 01-23-2019 07:24 PM

Thanks for the replies guys. Yes August know I've done drinking is what I mean.
And who knew there was a name for it wethinknot? Spontaneous sobriety. Thanks for telling me what happened to you, amazing isn't it?

I don't want to get fanciful, because I'm not really sure if there is a God or not. But when I was going through the withdrawals of that 8 day binge, the time before I last drank, I was on my knees begging God, if there was one, to help me be rid of the alcohol. Like I said, that all sounds a little fanciful

Fearlessat50 01-23-2019 07:33 PM

Great, Elhen! I had a similar experience. I called it a ďhigh bottomĒ, which Iíve read about. I guess itís similar to spontaneous sobriety.

I do hope you still have some sort of recovery plan for long term, though. Even with spontaneous sobriety, itís possible to relapse if complacency sets in. I let my guard down after a year and came close to a relapse because the memory of the horrific things that happened at the end of my drinking days was starting to fade, and I had some new stressors in life too. So I had to get back to my plan and back to daily sobriety practice. Iím so glad I did!

elhen 01-23-2019 07:53 PM

This time fearless, feels different to the 1 million other times I have tried to stop drinking.
But I know it's not going to just happen by magic, staying off it.
I have found a way to fill my days, be useful and ease the loneliness through volunteering.
I also use Smart Recovery. And I have given myself permission not to obsessively worry about everything and everybody, just for one year, at first, because at times I chewed on every small thing until inside my head was unliveable. I am forcing myself to leave the past in the past and to not self indulgence by morbidly reflecting on it.
Same with the future, not morbidly projecting.
I have a healthy eating plan and do a lot of walking.
If I get really desperate, I will decorate my kitchen, as I have had the paint for a year, giving me the guilts everytime I look in the cupboard.
Plus I'm using the guided meditations on YouTube to reduce any stress build up, before it gets out of hand.

listae 01-23-2019 07:57 PM

I can really relate too. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, as the saying goes. There are many internal tolls that daily drinking takes but I didn't realize it until I stopped. You're welcome to join the January 2019 thread. It's a great group and many of stopped drinking/working on sobriety in January.

elhen 01-24-2019 01:50 AM

Thanks listae. I did look at the January thread but there are so many people on it I feel a bit intimidated just jumping in haha

August252015 01-24-2019 03:05 AM

Just out of curiosity, I looked up the phrase "spontaneous sobriety" - what I found indicates that it is getting sober without a formal program.

elhen 01-24-2019 03:35 AM

Yes . We are all different. I struggled with AA for years then found something that is working for me. I don't care what works for people as long as it works

elhen 01-24-2019 03:43 AM

I totally and utterly do NOT believe in the "we alcoholics"
Philosophy we may all have an addition to alcohol but we are not all the same
Alcohol is addictive substae no matter what the multi billion industry defending it say. It's not a personal failing

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