Weekend away (Stag do)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 108
Dealing with hangovers isn’t manning up. Manning up is cancelling now and putting your health and happiness first. Like others have said, what’s the point of going if odds are you won’t remember much of it anyway. It’s a no brainer. If you had some more sober time under your belt and there was actually a possibility of not drinking then I’d give it a try. Obviously you haven’t considered that to even be an option. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Sounds like you've made the decision to drink then.
It's not too late to change that.
I recently ran into someone from AA and he told me about [yet another] AA member who went back out and drank. She died. It's dangerous for alcoholics, this moderation game you're talking about.
It's not too late to change that.
I recently ran into someone from AA and he told me about [yet another] AA member who went back out and drank. She died. It's dangerous for alcoholics, this moderation game you're talking about.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by Primativo 
Yes I know I'll drink if I go. It will be in my face 24/7 for two days.
I'm going to give it a miss.
I'm going to give it a miss.
I cannot stress enough that nothing is worth more than my sobriety, no one is worth more than it, and no event - none- is worth putting it in ANY jeopardy. That means diff things for me at a few days past three years than it did at 60ish days, 1 yr, even 2 - but I never regretted a choice I made to "miss" something - and I never found anyone in my life who didn't support that to be good for me, to say the least.
I hope you will shift back from the emotional (and literal, since you bought tickets and know details of the trip already- it's still in Mar though, right??) wavering. I don't recall if you exactly said this above- but projecting ahead to say, 90 ish days sober, truly isn't much further along than you are now, so convincing yourself you will be able to stay sober then is, IMO and respectfully, a common alcoholic mind game. Or if it's in early Mar that's what a week-2 away??
Best to you for what I know you know is the right decision.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Think he means this Friday 1 March. Scary how time goes so quickly. I'm on holiday atm . All inclusive and it is harder than I expected and I had no intentions to drink. I haven't and I won't. I have a child with me. But no way could or would I stay sober on hols with a group of friends whose sole purpose is to drink
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Originally Posted by August252015
Hey Primativo....great job on 2+ mo....and here's what you said you decided on Jan 23.
I cannot stress enough that nothing is worth more than my sobriety, no one is worth more than it, and no event - none- is worth putting it in ANY jeopardy. That means diff things for me at a few days past three years than it did at 60ish days, 1 yr, even 2 - but I never regretted a choice I made to "miss" something - and I never found anyone in my life who didn't support that to be good for me, to say the least.
I hope you will shift back from the emotional (and literal, since you bought tickets and know details of the trip already- it's still in Mar though, right??) wavering. I don't recall if you exactly said this above- but projecting ahead to say, 90 ish days sober, truly isn't much further along than you are now, so convincing yourself you will be able to stay sober then is, IMO and respectfully, a common alcoholic mind game. Or if it's in early Mar that's what a week-2 away??
Best to you for what I know you know is the right decision.
I cannot stress enough that nothing is worth more than my sobriety, no one is worth more than it, and no event - none- is worth putting it in ANY jeopardy. That means diff things for me at a few days past three years than it did at 60ish days, 1 yr, even 2 - but I never regretted a choice I made to "miss" something - and I never found anyone in my life who didn't support that to be good for me, to say the least.
I hope you will shift back from the emotional (and literal, since you bought tickets and know details of the trip already- it's still in Mar though, right??) wavering. I don't recall if you exactly said this above- but projecting ahead to say, 90 ish days sober, truly isn't much further along than you are now, so convincing yourself you will be able to stay sober then is, IMO and respectfully, a common alcoholic mind game. Or if it's in early Mar that's what a week-2 away??
Best to you for what I know you know is the right decision.
Thanks. It's this Friday. I think I've made my decision to miss it, I just need to tell everyone.
I know what will happen if I go, I'll be back in the alcohol crutch again, even briefly. It's a place I don't want to go back to.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by Primativo
Thanks. It's this Friday. I think I've made my decision to miss it, I just need to tell everyone. I know what will happen if I go, I'll be back in the alcohol crutch again, even briefly. It's a place I don't want to go back to.
I know what will happen if I go, I'll be back in the alcohol crutch again, even briefly. It's a place I don't want to go back to.Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,514
I guess there's a part of you that thinks you'll be letting your friend down but under the circumtances if he is a good friend surely he'll understand why you can't go?
Stag do's always go the same way - too much drink. Which might be fun for anyone who usually drinks in moderation but it's not so good for anyone who has an addiction.
Stag do's always go the same way - too much drink. Which might be fun for anyone who usually drinks in moderation but it's not so good for anyone who has an addiction.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
If you truly want sobriety MORE than you want to drink, giving it a miss is the best decision.
As you and others have mentioned, there will always be another event like this to tempt you, so probably best not to give yourself a free pass now, as you'll only give yourself a free pass at the next one.
I am concerned that you've mentioned past relapses as if they don't really matter. A relapse is a relapse whether you drank for one day or forty. Managing to get on the wagon after each one doesn't make them less relevant. If that were the case, I could just say my quit date was February last year, with four minor relapses since. Actually I quit in July, as I've not had a drink since July.
As you and others have mentioned, there will always be another event like this to tempt you, so probably best not to give yourself a free pass now, as you'll only give yourself a free pass at the next one.
I am concerned that you've mentioned past relapses as if they don't really matter. A relapse is a relapse whether you drank for one day or forty. Managing to get on the wagon after each one doesn't make them less relevant. If that were the case, I could just say my quit date was February last year, with four minor relapses since. Actually I quit in July, as I've not had a drink since July.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Originally Posted by lessgravity
If you have even the slightest doubt about being able to remain sober then it's obvious that you have to bail. I think you know this but your post suggests some wavering
Yes I have been wavering. I still am in fact, and will do until I message the organiser and tell him. I'll do it tomorrow. I have thought about going sober, but it will be too much to ask at this time.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
