DontRemember

In weight training,eating right/dieting,breakups,ect..pretty much any 'lifestyle change'.. I,recently, heard if you can "do 90 days straight and then you'll be 'cool' as long as you don't go back to the bad 'thing'.. even once". So, first thing that popped into my head was "ohh..that's why AA says try to do 90/90"..Makes sense to me..keep at it.

**I'm getting back into fitness/lifting,but when I heard that on a workout 'thing', my mind went straight to AA " **

serenitynowplz

Don’t be fooled by 90 days straight. I’ve been at five months, six months and even 9 months sober and still went back to my old ways. It sucks and I think the best strategy is to have a foolproof plan and to stick to it. I’ve learned from each of my past attempts. I recognize when I’m having thoughts that Made me say F it in times past. I try to tell on myself here as much as I can and to listen to all the good advice. Ive learned so much and it’s becoming clear that I really need structure and consistency tonstick to my goals.

DontRemember

Ya skipped the part of my post that said "IF YOU DON'T GO BACK..EVEN ONCE"..in a drinker/drugger's case, that'd be not picking up/doing the 1st drink/drug..I have over 2yrs sober now and the only thing that kept leading ME back(in the past) was picking up/doing that 1st drink.

Edit: and for me to get to 2yr+(minus 1 night) that took structure and working towards building my sober lifestyle(via a plan),just like I had structured and built my drinking lifestyle. NOTHING 'just happens'. I had to be as dedicated to my sobriety as I was my drinking.

DriGuy

90 days is a rule of thumb. I was secure well before that, but I still did something like 93 meetings in 90 days. For some it might be 365 days. But generally, 90 days clears your system, gets you past the cravings, and sets you up to start thinking your way past that first drink. Usually by then, you are on your way to a better life.

The potential tripping point for me, which I made it through, was that after clearing your system and getting past the cravings, you start to feel normal because you are no longer acting like an alcoholic. There's this false sense that you are now a normie. This is a red flag, because in your new found "normality," you can feel like you can now drink like a normie.

But if you are an alcoholic, you can't drink like a normal person. You have bought a nonrefundable ticket on a life long ride. This is where, you can't depend on your feelings as a guide, and this is why alcoholics that recover (permanent recovery) realize they must commit to total abstinence. It's the reason AA builds on a foundation of total abstinence.

I bought it, somewhat grudgingly at first, but I incorporated total abstinence into my plan from the start. I actually don't know what would happen if I tried to drink in moderation, maybe I could. I've never tried it, because after so many years of not drinking, I now know that I can attend parties, go to weddings, or do any of those things where I once thought alcohol was necessary. I now know that it's not necessary. Since I don't miss those "glorious olden days," I have no incentive to go back to drinking, even if I could do it in moderation.

There is not a single doubt in my mind about this being the better life for me.

WeThinkNot

This is the absolute truth.

The second time I quit drinking I was sober for three months. Enough time for the acute withdrawal symptoms to be gone and to feel physically normal again. "You see I'm not an alcoholic, I wouldn't be able to stop for three months if I had a problem!" Saturday night rolls around, I'm "bored", so I decide to go out drinking.

It was pathetic how plastered I got. Some people can pretend to moderate for a little while, I failed in my first evening.

Then there were more surprises waiting around the corner. I was about to graduate from a fifth of whiskey at night to drinking around the clock. Who cares right, if it gets bad enough I'll just quit again....oops. My first withdrawal was cakewalk, the second was rough, and now the third had me wondering if I was going to die.

Gee it's almost like every time you start over the drinking, hangovers, and withdrawals get exponentially worse each time. I wonder if there is a term for that?

But who knows, maybe things will be different for the OP.

JustTony

For those that don’t know it’s called ‘Kindling’

https://www.alcohol.org/effects/kindling-withdrawal/

DriGuy

Excellent article and explanation of the phenomenon.

Outonthetiles

Moderation.
Doesn't.
Work.

August252015

Just curious if you are still reading your thread, bringmeback?

ljc267

Think about this for a second. Let's say that every time you ate apples you woke up feeling terrible, full of guilt, and sick. Would you keep trying to eat just enough of them so you did not feel real sick and not so terrible or would you just stop eating them?