cj203

Was coming home from work today and bought a bottle of Tito's. Sat in my truck for a few minutes and just looked at it. Ended up pulling into the gas station next to the liquor store and threw the entire bottle in the dumpster. Called a buddy of mine who is not an alcoholic and he's going with me to my first AA meeting tomorrow morning. If someone would have told me a decade ago I'd be an alcoholic clown at 26 I'd have laughed in your face. I'm just tired of letting people and my own self down. Enough is enough.


Sorry for the rambling it's just been a long day.

Finalround

I would say you made a great decision throwing out the bottle. Let it be a symbolic reminder of your wretched hatred of booze.

But, if you won that inner struggle just a little sooner, you'd still have that $30 in you pocket

D122y

Cj,

I just watched a movie on prime called beautiful boy.

It reminded me that us addicts have brain damage. When we stop medication with the booze our brains flip out. We have to find ways to fill the gap and ease the physcosis.

I did bjj for 2 years. That go me through. Some folks need meds.

It took 2 years plus to really feel amazing results of sobriety routinely. Before that is was sporadic which gave me hope feeling awesome would eventually be routine.

I am still waiting. But, i feel awesome an awful lot.

Thanks.

least

Welcome to the family. You made a smart choice to stop drinking. I got sober over nine years ago and don't regret a minute of it.

I hope our support can help you stay sober for good.

listae

Welcome! You're brave; don't beat up on yourself. Alcoholism is not a character flaw; it's a disease. Alcohol is an addictive substance but you don't realize it until you stop for a while.

Ghostlight1

Don't worry, you're not rambling.
I dumped a lot of booze out in my drinking career only to buy more. They just keep making it, so good for you for dumping.
But most of all congratulations on your sober time and going to an AA meeting.
That's what it took for me.
If you're twenty six, I drank alcoholicly for longer than you've been alive.

It's been ten years sober for me and I was a bad drunk.
I'm proud of you for your willingness to get sober. And to take action.
Yes, go to AA and come here and post your thoughts.

Best to you.

Unshackled

Dumping the booze shows tremendous willpower and determination keep up the good work. The more you tell the beast no the less control it has.

Dee74

I'm really glad you threw it away CJ - let us know how you get on at AA

D

Stronger2017

cj203

So ended up going to my first AA meeting this morning. Didn't say a whole lot just sat and listened. Actually felt a little down when I left... is that normal? I don't know. Going to try another one tomorrow evening.

Ghostlight1

By feeling down, what do you mean?
I didn't speak at an AA meeting for months. Just listened, but it was enough to keep me sober.
Yep, keep going back. It can't hurt. And it's a whole lot better than drinking.
Glad you went to the meeting. I really hope they help you.

listae

There are also many young people's meetings and groups. Age is not a factor for having a problem with alcohol; sobriety also does not have anything to with age. It is about learning about the disease. I'm 47 but I went to my first AA meeting when I was 28. I kept going in and out (they call it a revolving door) because I was never convinced that I had as much a problem as others. Now, I look back and see what I missed out in life for not getting sober earlier. (Just sharing my experience.)

PurpleKnight

You can do this CJ . . . welcome to the Forum!!

PhoenixJ

NOT rambling, cj. Honest and to the point. To have an awareness of something being wrong and taking action so early in age- is a blessing. Let us know how the meeting goes. Well done, you.

cj203

I don't know just listening to some of the people with 15-20 years of sobriety under there belts and then realizing the absolute enormity of the task.

Hevyn

Hi cj. It's wonderful that you recognize what needs to happen - at your age. In my 20's I refused to admit my drinking was out of control. My entire life collapsed many years later. You'll never have to suffer through the nightmare that many of us have. Be proud of yourself. Yes, it's hard in the beginning -and we do feel overwhelmed at first. But things are going to get so much better. I hope you'll keep posting - we care.

Ghostlight1

Oh, don't worry yourself with that. I've got ten years and believe me it gets easier the longer I'm sober.
I wouldn't look years down the line, just don't drink today. It really is that simple.
Soon those days add up and it becomes second nature not to drink. For me anyway.
Hang in there cj. And take one day at a time. That I can deal with.

rascalwhiteoak

In my mid-twenties I had a strong suspicion I was addicted; things didn't gel until I was 40 however. You're ahead of the curve by taking action now.

Early sobriety is full of weirdness. You're reforming routines and associations with so much of your daily life. It's perfectly normal at this point to worry about Never Drinking Again. The key is to not give those thoughts too much airtime, as they'll eventually subside.

Stick close to SR, too. The troubling stories I read here remind me of where I've been, and the uplifting ones remind me of where I'm going. It's a great way to reinforce the decision to quit drinking.

Dee74

For me, its a lot like that old joke 'How do you eat an elephant...one bite at a time'.

I don't wake up and think today is day whatever and so many thousand to go til I shuffle off this mortal coil...

I just live each day

D

MindfulMan

Good job. You're doing all the right stuff. Supportive friends and a sobriety plan...going to AA and posting on sober recovery.

The most important step for me was Step 1. I have a problem. If I start drinking again, eventually it will take over and there will be consequences. The only power I truly have over alcohol is to say no. Just no. Not some. Not sometimes. Just no. Never. That realization took a few weeks of inpatient rehab, I started with rehab is to dry out for a month and get over the physical addiction, to let's do a few more weeks after, to 3 months, 6 months, then a year. I finally got Step 1 and realized the right answer was never.

The rest was just learning techniques to make it easier to say no, both to outside forces and that Addictive Voice.

Keep it up, you're doing great!