mariposa

I’m struggling, stressed I feel what’s the use in trying? I move to a new town, only friend I had was so critical and lashes out at me over everything so we stopped talking after she flipped out on me. My fiancé gets mad at me over the littlest things. I’m looking for work, staying sober, going to the gym, trying to budget my money. I feel like just taking off to another distant country and being done with everyone. I feel alone in my struggles. I’m treading water but not very well.

AtomicBlue

Please don’t give up mariposa. I still sometimes briefly get what I call a case of the “f*** its”. These things you mentioned are going to be difficult to navigate. You have a chance to improve things. I do know one thing that will NOT make any of it better.

ScottFromWI

Sorry you are having a rough time of it mariposa. Sounds to me like you are doing lots of things that are positive, why not try and focus on them? Maybe you fiancee is having a rough time of it too...have you considered that? Bottom line is that we can't run away from our problems though - they live inside us and come with us wherever we may go. Same thing with drinking...your addiction would love nothing more than you to have a couple drinks to relax or "take the edge off". but you know where that ends up. Plus it does nothing to solve any of your problems.

For me sometimes making a Gratitude list for the things I am thankful for helps in times like this. You could start the list. by saying that you are sober..which is probably the most important thing anyone in our shoes can have.

Rd2quit

Mariposa, I am sorry you are having a difficult time. I hope you do not decide to drink. Alcohol will not make this situation any better, it will only make it worse.

Hopeful528

I know its hard at the moment, but things are going to get better.
You will meet some new friends who share the same values and interests as you, the more you stay on this healthy course.
Keep it up. One day turns into the next.

You've got this!

Hopeful528

And Remember to BREATHE you are doing a lot of things at once.
Congratulate yourself and be good to you

BigShoe

Lots of changes! Me too. Had a wave of depression hit me today. The last one after some sober time had me thinking why be sober if I am still depressed. This time decided to see what may be on the other side. Had a bunch of food and took a deep nap. Felt better.
Keep posting. The answer is never to drink. It will not make anything better.

Delilah1

Hi Mariposa,

So glad you are here!! Try flipping to all of the good things:
-You are sober
-You are going to the gym
-You are budgeting your money
-You are in a new town, with lots to explore

Several really great things right there, and I'm sure many more!! Be proud of them.

D122y

Mari,

The world can take things from me, but only I can take away my sobriety.

I have some successes but I remember when I was actively drinking i would see folks i thought were worse off then me. I didn't know for sure, but in my sick mind, I was better off then them.

But, I thought to myself...they got me beat because they are stone sober. They are handling life sober.

Sobriety makes life easier. The av is a liar.

Thanks.

Proud2BeSober

Keep fighting. Just because today is bad doesn't mean next week or even tomorrow will be. I was in a really bad place just two-days ago - now I'm fine. Worst thing we can do is throw in the towel. Doing something that can be a potentially devastating permanent action to a temporary problem is never the answer.

Your problems as bad as they are now are temporary and can be defeated in time. Don't give up.

JustTony

Mariposa,

I hope I’m not too late. I had identical feelings yesterday. I also imagined how good it would feel to just disappear. Gratefully I was pulled back from the abyss.

I hope that you find the energy to resist.

Love and Support,

Tony

least

I hope you don't drink. Drinking only makes things worse.

WaterOx

Fantastic post.

Mariposa, try to compare yourself to who you were yesterday and forget everything else. Just imagine if you could make .05% progress every day, you'd be 126% better by the end of the year. Just a little bit, every time.

Catapillars have to crawl, inch by inch, before they become a mariposa

Dee74

Hows it going mariposa?

D

Lonewolf22

Hi Mariposa. last night I was reading a recovery plan. I'm not sure where you are in your recovery but One of things it mentioned is that you should avoid people that make you angry at the first stages.

People will tell you just not to drink and that is important, of course but you are right in being concerned about these things.
I would definitely sit your partner down and tell them that you are struggling and then getting angry at you is not helping. In any relationship that is not helpful so going through recovery, I find that to be deeply inconsiderate of them, in my honest opinion.

There is one thing understanding why someone maybe lashing out but you also have to set your own boundaries. So I think you should use your frustration to resolve this in a positive manner and speak your truth.

I say this from not knowing the full picture but just thought I'd throw it out there because sounds like you are in a difficult place.

Sending you a warm hug

Purplrks3647

(((Mariposa))) Sounds like you've got some healthy boundaries set....which makes all the difference! Keep up the awesome work

I had a "friend" like that....then found out the definition of a toxic person, and her picture may as well have been there

Hopefully your fiance will lighten up! Or else!

Sending more hugs

MantaLady

Hope you’re feeling better today Mariposa

aasharon90

Continue to work on your own recovery
program with lots of support seated in
your nearby recovery meetings. If not there
stay connected to your recovery lifeline
here in SR filled with many paving the way
with success in their own programs.

As you strengthen your own foundation
with a continuous recovery program incorporated
in all areas of your life, you will be able to
solve many of lifes situations with healthier
tools and knowledge learned along the way.

There is nothing in this world you can't
manage that alcohol wont make worse.

SnazzyDresser

Hang in there, mariposa. We all know that despair, don't let it swallow you. There's a way to carve out a sober life for yourself that's vastly preferable to going back to the poison.

noaddedsugar

Don't throw in the towel Mariposa. Drinking will not take away your worries. It might distract your mind but they are still going to be there and you're going to have to face them at some point. Have a talk with your fiance and let them know how you're feeling. You're sober and that's great. Carry on with the gym Looking for work can be a bit of a bummer but you will find something in the end and everything will come together stay strong