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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
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In 6 hours, 45 minutes I'll be released from the sentence I received in August.
I'll have served 159 days. 152 in house arrest, which I'm grateful for.
On January 22nd I'm 11 months sober. So I'm free from all that craziness too... and grateful for it.
While the situation has been far from as bad as it could have been, I wouldn't by any stretch call it easy.
I don't really have much for words at the moment. Lots of emotion this week in anticipation of regaining my freedom.
Some guy at work the other day asked me how long I had left, I told him 3 days, he immediately responded with "so where are you going?" meaning... "where are you going to drink?"
People are people. Many can be very shallow. Having not watched any mainstream television for almost a year and being confined and alone for the last 5+ months I see very much the contrast... I see the brainwashing of all the media blitz and superficiality of the world we live in - and the people who follow it like sheep. I'm grateful for this too.
Today when I woke up I felt a deep deep sense of peace and relief. There's an inner strength too... an edge even. I'm stronger for all this. I don't fear things the way I used to.
There's more work to do.
And there's a lot of enjoyment ahead.
This one has a happy ending.
I'm grateful for that.
Thank you SR. All week in anticipation of tomorrow morning I've been reflecting on things... memories of the accident and those first few night sweat soaked nights. Waking with sore ribs and swollen elbows and knees to an empty garage, no phone, no money. Thinking at one point how close to bankruptcy I came. All the loss. All the grief. But also all the amazing support and help I received.
I broke into tears this morning for a bit. Not really sad or happy. Just a release of emotion. Feels good to be able to feel.
Thanks again.
-B
I'll have served 159 days. 152 in house arrest, which I'm grateful for.
On January 22nd I'm 11 months sober. So I'm free from all that craziness too... and grateful for it.
While the situation has been far from as bad as it could have been, I wouldn't by any stretch call it easy.
I don't really have much for words at the moment. Lots of emotion this week in anticipation of regaining my freedom.
Some guy at work the other day asked me how long I had left, I told him 3 days, he immediately responded with "so where are you going?" meaning... "where are you going to drink?"
People are people. Many can be very shallow. Having not watched any mainstream television for almost a year and being confined and alone for the last 5+ months I see very much the contrast... I see the brainwashing of all the media blitz and superficiality of the world we live in - and the people who follow it like sheep. I'm grateful for this too.
Today when I woke up I felt a deep deep sense of peace and relief. There's an inner strength too... an edge even. I'm stronger for all this. I don't fear things the way I used to.
There's more work to do.
And there's a lot of enjoyment ahead.
This one has a happy ending.
I'm grateful for that.
Thank you SR. All week in anticipation of tomorrow morning I've been reflecting on things... memories of the accident and those first few night sweat soaked nights. Waking with sore ribs and swollen elbows and knees to an empty garage, no phone, no money. Thinking at one point how close to bankruptcy I came. All the loss. All the grief. But also all the amazing support and help I received.
I broke into tears this morning for a bit. Not really sad or happy. Just a release of emotion. Feels good to be able to feel.
Thanks again.
-B
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Buckley - that is wonderful news. Thank you for posting your thoughts & feelings as your sentence comes to an end. Yes, we must never forget the harrowing events that put us in dangerous situations. We don't have to dwell on them, but they do serve a purpose. Any time I decided to test myself by drinking again - it was because the memory of past horrific episodes had grown dim. I'm glad you're reflecting on what you've been through, with optimism and gratitude. Thank you for a helpful post - and congratulations! Your relief is palpable.
Congrats on 11 months sober! Woo hoo!! 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,971
What an inspiring post! Thank you for sharing and congratulations! Sorry for what you have been through. But you’ve taken responsibility and look how far you’ve come and how much stronger you are!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Hell yeah. Really glad you joined us again man, I'm sure you have a ton on your plate, so thank you for checking in.
One of the true stories of persistence, strength and hard work on this site. Been an honor to be a part of it, you deserve all the good stuff coming your way sober.
Massive congrats. No one came to save us, may finally have saved ourselves homie. Great post.
One of the true stories of persistence, strength and hard work on this site. Been an honor to be a part of it, you deserve all the good stuff coming your way sober.
Massive congrats. No one came to save us, may finally have saved ourselves homie. Great post.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 136
You have earned this!...this freedom!...you have done a lot of work to have 11 months of sobriety...be focus to keep your freedom as life can take any of us through twist and turns in life. Every day is to fulfill a purpose on how to own and cherish every day...that’s my mindset as I wake up and I won’t let alcohol derail me any further then it already has in my life....enjoy your freedom!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I was thinking about you this week. Thank you for sharing such good thoughts about your upcoming 11 months sobriety and your release back to time on your own terms, very moving to read. May the journey ahead be fruitful.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
What depth of character you've shown through all you've been through. Life can take us down to belly lows, and you certainly paid your dues. Honor yourself with knowing you've entered a new dimension. Wishing you every blessing life has to offer. Peace be with you.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,198
Pretty much from the moments after the accident you have responded to everything in the perfect way. Thanks for sharing your situation with us, that in itself took guts. You deserve a great 2019. I hope you stick around on SR because there will be people arriving on the threads who really need your insight, even if they don't know that themselves.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Tremendous responses. Just great. Thanks.
It's done. I'm free. A mix of emotions.. to be expected.
Had a training session with a client just hours after getting free. Good that I once believed it would take a year to get back to consulting and instead it took only hours. I have a few other gigs already booked in the coming months.
Bad that I'm rushing it. I'm just now able to sit still and start the process of realizing I'm no longer wrapped up in the whole affair. It's been a long 11 months and frankly I feel like a fish out of water at the moment.
I don't really remember a time that some drama wasn't at play in my life. The last 11 months I've dealt with all the fallout from my accident. Prior to that was being mired in the emotional trainwreck and unsustainable lifestyle I was living.
It's really only right now - right at this moment - that my life sits still and is largely drama free and free from all the self imposed destruction. Honestly I don't know what to do with any of it. And I guess I don't really feel a need to do anything for a bit really.
I don't know what to do with myself.
I think I'll start by taking some advice from a good friend - a sage really. I'm going to take a shower. Physically and metaphorically wash all this grime off me. Then I'm going to listen to some quiet music and get a good night of sleep. Tomorrow morning I'm going to have a good breakfast and take a long walk.
I'm going to go wherever my feet take me, and I'm not going to ask permission to do it.
Thanks again.
-B
It's done. I'm free. A mix of emotions.. to be expected.
Had a training session with a client just hours after getting free. Good that I once believed it would take a year to get back to consulting and instead it took only hours. I have a few other gigs already booked in the coming months.
Bad that I'm rushing it. I'm just now able to sit still and start the process of realizing I'm no longer wrapped up in the whole affair. It's been a long 11 months and frankly I feel like a fish out of water at the moment.
I don't really remember a time that some drama wasn't at play in my life. The last 11 months I've dealt with all the fallout from my accident. Prior to that was being mired in the emotional trainwreck and unsustainable lifestyle I was living.
It's really only right now - right at this moment - that my life sits still and is largely drama free and free from all the self imposed destruction. Honestly I don't know what to do with any of it. And I guess I don't really feel a need to do anything for a bit really.
I don't know what to do with myself.
I think I'll start by taking some advice from a good friend - a sage really. I'm going to take a shower. Physically and metaphorically wash all this grime off me. Then I'm going to listen to some quiet music and get a good night of sleep. Tomorrow morning I'm going to have a good breakfast and take a long walk.
I'm going to go wherever my feet take me, and I'm not going to ask permission to do it.
Thanks again.
-B
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I had that same "fish out of water" feeling once I didn't have anymore legal stuff hanging over my head. I still have over a year left on my SR22 insurance. That's only $$,but it does remind me of what I did/where I was at,because of my drinking, 2yrs ago.
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