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Class of January 2019 Part 2

Old 01-11-2019, 10:51 AM
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I wanted to go out to lunch today, but I致e decided against it. I rolled the tape forward and heard my AV say that I could have a couple beers with lunch (like I always do) and then just go home no problem. (how many time must we believe the lies?) So instead I知 going to go shopping for something delish to make at home where I知 safe. I知 a little sad about it, but I know when I wake up tomorrow I値l be super happy and proud I made that decision.
I will not drink with you today
Day 18 AF
Day 11 Vape Free
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Old 01-11-2019, 11:57 AM
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Yes! I made it to part 2 lol.

Day 11.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:08 PM
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Day 8 is great, I would say that I知 about 50% better than I was 8 days ago. I知 suffering from a sinus allergy issue but used a nasal saline flush and getting better. I知 back in the gym, financial situation taken care of to sustain me for 6 weeks. Also I got an amazing job interview for next week!!! I知 so nervous but all I can do is my best right? I知 going to go all out with portfolio and dress my best. I have about a month to prepare for my wedding too. Also no nightmares just strange vivid dreams. Staying sober is the only way to ensure I continue upward.
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Old 01-11-2019, 01:10 PM
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Friday night out of the way. To be honest there was never the slightest chance I was going to drink anyway but it’s good to have another day ticked off.

I hope the Januaronis can manage to stay strong all weekend. We’ve got this so long as we are determined and pull together when times are hard.

Goodnight from this UK poster.

JT
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Old 01-11-2019, 01:44 PM
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Night, Tony. You are doing great. I think this is the month and year for us.

Great choice, Meshelly. You make our class proud and don稚 you feel good for making the right choice. Cooking a great meal sounds so much better than cooking up misery and pain by drinking.

I really hate alcohol right now. Honestly, I hope I always do. I have a close family member who is in the midst of alcoholic drinking, severely depressed, and has even contemplated suicide. This stuff is such a destroyer.

Day 12 of my new life, and I am looking forward to a sober weekend. Check in later.
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Old 01-11-2019, 01:48 PM
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Congrats to you all. Just following along and impressed at all of the early progress.
I am class of September and am just over three months. I never thought I could find sobriety again but i have and it really is better, much better.
Keep it up.
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Old 01-11-2019, 03:06 PM
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I'm very glad we've got to part 2 of this January class. Great support.
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Old 01-11-2019, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Torii View Post
Day 1, again. Was not immune to Friday.

The AV convinced me that drinking tonight wasn't a bad idea. It's incredible that I was sober and in my right mind when I listened to it.
I was often sober but I'm not sure I was ever in my right mind when the AV was able to convince me of stuff?

when the AV tries that again Torii maybe come here for a fact check?
The AV lies - drinking again is a bad idea and always is.

D
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Old 01-11-2019, 03:23 PM
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Just checking in, I have been able to stay sober. Friday is always difficult for me and there are alot of bars near my office but I was able to get on the bus. I made plans to see a movie tonight. My cravings are more intense today, but I am managing.
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Old 01-11-2019, 03:32 PM
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Hello all. Here at home with the cat on my lap. I plan on reading more of This Naked Mind tonight. It is a very interesting book.
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Old 01-11-2019, 04:32 PM
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I am definitely going to invest in The Naked Mind for my kindle.

Another successful sober Friday night completed! Had a conversation with a work colleague earlier about flavoured gin and which ones we liked etc. Made me kinda sad I can't enjoy alcohol like a normal person like I used to, however I'm not tempted to even try. Haven't really got any solid plans for this weekend so the plan is just to keep busy. Got a salon appointment in the morning, booked a gym class for after and I just need to find a way to fill up the rest of my day. I do have a few books to read that I might make a start on. I'm probably gonna be hanging out on here a lot.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:04 PM
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Day 11, Sober Friday night. I was in the kitchen make some healthy food since I am dieting as well. The AV told me that I should be enjoying a glass of wine while I cooked, Ha. No way. It made me a little sad that I couldn't, I mean chose not too. My daughter stopped by on her way home to pick up a few books for her studies. I pulled out a half empty bottle of vodka and say take this with you, I don't need the temptation around here. We are having people over tomorrow for the football game. I am confident that I will not drink. Happy Friday, ya'll. TTFN. Stay Strong!
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by JustTony View Post
Yesterday was interesting as I had my first visit since quitting again from the dreaded AV (or Evil Tony as I now call him).
I hadn't thought of giving my AV anything tangible like a name but I like the idea. I think I'll benefit from it having a body and voice as well. He's a separate guy that sounds, looks and acts like Rocky's brother in-law Paulie in the Rocky movies.

Nothing major going on this Friday night except me not drinking.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:28 PM
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Just popping in to say hello. Sober Friday nights are fantastic, but even better are hangover free Saturday mornings.
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:16 PM
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Just a quick check in... I'm still freaking soberrrrrrrrr!!! But it doesn't stop here. I hung out with my boyfriend last night completely sober for the first time ever and it was FINE. I then had a meeting today and found out a well respected person at my job is in recovery and has 7 years sober! To top it all off I've decided to go back to school to get my terminal degree. It will be something I've wanted to do for a while now and the perfect excuse to stay home on the weekends until I'm stronger in my sobriety! Day 11 ending. I have my kids this weekend so no problems staying sober this weekend. But I'm doing a solo trip to Las Vegas next weekend and my plan is to make sure I am back in my hotel room by 830/9p if not a bit earlier. Me + the night + vegas = major binging. So no! This time I will bring my laptop, work, read, research, sleep, eat any interesting foods I want, try some DAYTIME shows for once, perhaps do some light DAYTIME sight seeing, and if all else fails I will order food to my hotel room and watch movies lol. I must stay sober. I really want this year to be my year. When I think of my last few binges I just can't help but saying, WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF??? IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. I KNOW I need to get into a face to face sober community, I will feel like something is missing unless I'm in contact with at least one other person committed to their sobriety. Maybe I could check out a meeting in Las Vegas? Anyway, not that short lol. NIght all!
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Old 01-11-2019, 07:27 PM
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is it a work thing in Vegas LLG?
D
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:47 PM
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Nope, I just like to go to Vegas for fun a few times a year!
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:03 PM
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Congratulations to everyone who is still hanging with the January class! Meshelley you are inspiring! I did the bulk of my drinking at restaurants (most of my income went to eating out and drinking with food). My excuse for years was that food tastes better with alcohol. Except that I drank more than I ate every time.
Since I'm not at the point where I can go to a restaurant and not order a drink, I've been cooking at home (simple meals) for the last 11 days. I've lost 5.8 pounds since January 1 (the drinking and eating out resulted in major obesity) and I can actually taste the food a lot more. My taste buds are much more alive. I'm proud of you for going home and cooking. It helps me to hear your story.

Okay: got through day 11. Mind much clearer. Now, I have to deal with the behaviors that I'm still doing because they also became habits with daily drinking. I need a schedule. I need structure and work.

Wishing you a sober January, classmates!
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:37 PM
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Morning all . Will check in tonight afte a busy sobor day .
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:49 PM
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Day 12

Went to bed at 9pm last night and finally threw the duvet off at 5am. Crikey - that’s almost normal hours! The sleep is still broken into 90 minute to 2 hour chunks and I can only put this down to coming out of the normal REM cycles. To be honest I’ve never had this broken sleep issue go on for quite so long in the past and I’m normally getting in 6-8 hours by now. Another sign that the addiction and damage was getting worse with time?

LiveLikeGold - are you sure the Las Vegas trip is a good idea? One thing I’ve learnt about early sobreity having tried and ultimately failed (many times) is to avoid situations where everyone else close to you is boozing. It’s hard to get away with being near strangers drinking, but when it is all your regular drinking friends.... nightmare. I was supposed to go to London on my day 5. I had tickets to the football all paid for and a rendezvous set up with friends. My wife had made other plans to be with her girl friends to do some shopping in London at the same time. It really made me feel awful to cancel as they are all great people and friends but I had to tell some white lies and avoid it. I knew I was just too vulnerable. Luckily my wife is 100% behind me and despite missing out on London she gave me her unconditional support.

Which I suppose brings me on to Red78 and that I posted previously that her partner was “abusive and controlling” for not respecting her views on avoiding parties and situations that could make her drink? I know you’re reading this Red and you also know, that I know, that you haven’t replied to me or messaged me since I wrote it (Red78 and I have been in a few classes together and shared private messages of support in the past). Red - I don’t take what I wrote back and I still stand by it 100% despite the fact it seems it might have upset you? I’m not here for your boyfriend - I’m here to try and get better and support people like you that are suffering with the same addiction and misery as I am. I always try and do this sensitively but occasionally I just post it as I see it. He keeps doing this to you over and over - and no I’m not “sick of hearing it” as you said to the group, but it does make me angry with your boyfriend - and I admit - frustrated with you - because you’re intelligent, young, sensitive, kind and have loads to live for. I think you deserve to be kinder to yourself and to live your life with someone that cherishes you and respects you. That’s the last I’ll say on that.

I’ve also been thinking of the times I have failed a bit more. 50 days came to a grinding halt in late January 2018. Then a period of 54 days was scuppered by my self destruct button in mid-September 2018. What am I going to do differently this time? How must I stop that happening? You see I have a massive issue with the concept of it being a ‘slip’. I’m sorry but I think that’s just weak minded bullcrap. I don’t ‘slip’. And.... sorry.... you all don’t ‘slip’ either. We RELAPSE. We make a decision (sometimes if we’re honest it is almost PLANNED as we can feel it coming slowly but surely). But regardless of the length of the run up we DECIDE to drink. It is not an accident. It might be regrettable, upsetting, disappointing and annoying but an ‘accident’ it is not.

So what is it? Do I not ‘want it’ enough? Is that what all this ultimately comes down to? Despite everything else do I want to drink more than I want to be present in my own life and face it on its own terms? I’m not sure... I just know that I don’t want to DELIBERATELY relapse again.

Love & Support

JT
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