Class of January 2019 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 43
Two weeks in and had some bad cravings today: "come on, you've done good, once isn't going to hurt anything." But as I said before, my AV now has the tone and look of Paulie from the Rocky movies so it's a lot easier to dismiss. Managed to get home without buying anything I shouldn't and will distract myself tonight.
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
JT i know you’re feeling better but i wanted to mention that when i read your post I immediately thought of rigorous honesty. That’s the kind of honesty that gets us through I’ve heard, so kudos!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Welcome lonewolf and JamesSquire - I hope the support and ideas here will help you guys make this time the time to quit 
Glad you're feeling a little better - my AV was forever trying to get me away from the herd in the early days...sometimes its arguments were very reasonable and persuasive...I have a natural proclivity to fight for the under dog against things like bullying, selfishness and dogmatic thinking...but I'm glad I stayed.
I think the ignore function is a useful tool - glad you're using it
D
Glad you're feeling a little better - my AV was forever trying to get me away from the herd in the early days...sometimes its arguments were very reasonable and persuasive...I have a natural proclivity to fight for the under dog against things like bullying, selfishness and dogmatic thinking...but I'm glad I stayed.
I think the ignore function is a useful tool - glad you're using it
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: K.C.MO
Posts: 425
Hello everyone, Just checking in to say good evening, Day 15. Doing good. Went to the gym for the first time in a couple of months. I am on the right track. Hope that everyone sleeps well toning, including me!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 979
Re-entered the world today and managed to stay sober for day 15, although I did get craving right after finishing work (when I would drink). I substituted for a cappuccino.
I still have bouts of crying in the morning. Is this normal?
EANx: congrats for resisting the cravings.
travelbug: congrats for getting to the gym. (A step that I keep saying that I will do.)
I still have bouts of crying in the morning. Is this normal?
EANx: congrats for resisting the cravings.
travelbug: congrats for getting to the gym. (A step that I keep saying that I will do.)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Welcome lonewolf and JamesSquire - I hope the support and ideas here will help you guys make this time the time to quit
Glad you're feeling a little better - my AV was forever trying to get me away from the herd in the early days...sometimes its arguments were very reasonable and persuasive...I have a natural proclivity to fight for the under dog against things like bullying, selfishness and dogmatic thinking...but I'm glad I stayed.
I think the ignore function is a useful tool - glad you're using it
D
Glad you're feeling a little better - my AV was forever trying to get me away from the herd in the early days...sometimes its arguments were very reasonable and persuasive...I have a natural proclivity to fight for the under dog against things like bullying, selfishness and dogmatic thinking...but I'm glad I stayed.
I think the ignore function is a useful tool - glad you're using it
D
I sometimes think of certain experiences where people have complimented me. At the time I felt almost proud. In hindsight, I wonder if they were just saying that to stroke my ego? Sort of recognising I take myself too seriously so it was easier for them to appease me rather than give me honest or constructive criticism. Like, you know when you see someone like Trump, or a movie star? I'm ashamed to say it but when I see how deluded they are, part of it I recognise in myself lol
There is some sort of black and white thinking there along the lines of 'if I'm not special I am nothing'. Regardless my thinking is deluded and at the very least, unfeasible.
God I am going to need a bloody good therapist to sort my head out lol
Anyway thanks for the lessons in your experience and your encouragement
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
Sounds like you are doing fine Listae. I can't see why crying would be a problem? I think feeling rather than repressing feelings is healthy don't you think? Just seems reasonable that you are so early in recovery and are emotional?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
hey lonewolf
I think we're all special in that noones story is exactly like mine, or yours...but I do also believe we share a common problem.
They say in AA to look for the similarities and not the differences - and although I'm not an AA member I think thats a pretty good line to follow.
I can learn from everyone here
D
I think we're all special in that noones story is exactly like mine, or yours...but I do also believe we share a common problem.
They say in AA to look for the similarities and not the differences - and although I'm not an AA member I think thats a pretty good line to follow.
I can learn from everyone here
D
Originally Posted by Lonewolf22
Funny you mention about moving away from the herd Dee. I do sometimes wonder if, either due to low self-esteem or from bitterness, from the experiences I've felt I was mistreated, I've put up a deluded defence of thinking I'm different from everyone else. Dare I even say special? It is definitely something I need to look at.
I sometimes think of certain experiences where people have complimented me. At the time I felt almost proud. In hindsight, I wonder if they were just saying that to stroke my ego? Sort of recognising I take myself too seriously so it was easier for them to appease me rather than give me honest or constructive criticism. Like, you know when you see someone like Trump, or a movie star? I'm ashamed to say it but when I see how deluded they are, part of it I recognise in myself lol
There is some sort of black and white thinking there along the lines of 'if I'm not special I am nothing'. Regardless my thinking is deluded and at the very least, unfeasible.
God I am going to need a bloody good therapist to sort my head out lol
Anyway thanks for the lessons in your experience and your encouragement
I sometimes think of certain experiences where people have complimented me. At the time I felt almost proud. In hindsight, I wonder if they were just saying that to stroke my ego? Sort of recognising I take myself too seriously so it was easier for them to appease me rather than give me honest or constructive criticism. Like, you know when you see someone like Trump, or a movie star? I'm ashamed to say it but when I see how deluded they are, part of it I recognise in myself lol
There is some sort of black and white thinking there along the lines of 'if I'm not special I am nothing'. Regardless my thinking is deluded and at the very least, unfeasible.
God I am going to need a bloody good therapist to sort my head out lol
Anyway thanks for the lessons in your experience and your encouragement
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
Yes Dee
I'm starting to feel more aware now that there is little bits of knowledge and wisdom in a lot of things. Like some things I heard people say when I was in rehab keep coming back to me. At the time they were just cliched drivel to me but now I see people say the same things and I can see them in my own context. I still feel that stubborn instant reaction in me at times but something has loosened that seems akin to feeling humbled? Realising regardless of what I agree and disagree with doesn't mean anything if I'm stuck in the rut of drinking. I'm basically like a football fan (who hasn't kicked a ball in his life) shouting at the players on the pitch, if that makes any sense? Lol It helps neither me not them.
I'm starting to feel more aware now that there is little bits of knowledge and wisdom in a lot of things. Like some things I heard people say when I was in rehab keep coming back to me. At the time they were just cliched drivel to me but now I see people say the same things and I can see them in my own context. I still feel that stubborn instant reaction in me at times but something has loosened that seems akin to feeling humbled? Realising regardless of what I agree and disagree with doesn't mean anything if I'm stuck in the rut of drinking. I'm basically like a football fan (who hasn't kicked a ball in his life) shouting at the players on the pitch, if that makes any sense? Lol It helps neither me not them.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 617
I'm frustrated at where I am at the moment.
Drinking numbs that and also numbs strong emotions.
It also adds to the pile of **** and moves things backwards not forwards and nothing gets done.
But i also know, that in order to heal and move forward,and not be frustrated at where I am, it all starts with never drinking.
Fought with my sister tonight and I have an event that causes stress but im happy with how i handled it tonight
Drinking numbs that and also numbs strong emotions.
It also adds to the pile of **** and moves things backwards not forwards and nothing gets done.
But i also know, that in order to heal and move forward,and not be frustrated at where I am, it all starts with never drinking.
Fought with my sister tonight and I have an event that causes stress but im happy with how i handled it tonight
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 16
I feel a tremendous amount better today after a really good nights sleep of about six solid hours and vivid but non-threatening dreams.
Another busy day at work and I need to visit the gym twice to make up for more laziness than was acceptable yesterday.
Regards,
JT
I feel a tremendous amount better today after a really good nights sleep of about six solid hours and vivid but non-threatening dreams.
Another busy day at work and I need to visit the gym twice to make up for more laziness than was acceptable yesterday.
Regards,
JT
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