Today is the day
 

Good Morning everybody. Today is a great day to test my theory about being alone as a main trigger, excuse, reason to drink. Whatever we want to call it.
My wife has to work real late this evening, my kid is at school, and working later. I'm not working at the moment, and today is an off day from the gym. So today is a perfect day to go completly damn sideways. You all know what I'm talking about. But I've been giving this alot of thought, and its the only time I have drank in the last 11 months is when I am alone.
So here's my plan for the day. Lots of coffee, breakkie, newspaper. Household chores, shower, Checking in to SR alot. An afternoon walk as my wife has the vehicle. Lunch, dinner. Hockey game this evening. Some time to work on my breathing techniques, mindfulness, and gratitude will be mixed in as well. Come to think of it im pretty busy and might leave out some chores.HAHA
I have lots planned to do today which should be a good thing. Might find some time to watch Narcos. Actually I WILL find time for that. LOL
It seems weird, I used to absolutely love being alone. As I am a little introverted, and don't need people around me all the time. The quietness, the peacefulness. No kids running around, fighting etc. But the last few years have been ruined because of the alcohol. I want that back as well. I am getting so much back these days that I have lost from alcohol, that I want more and more back. After I conquer this step I'm sure there will be another step to take. But right now I need to be ok while I am by myself.
Have a great day everybody! I'll check in later.

It sounds like you are going to do just great, you have a plan and that's the most important thing. You will enjoy being alone again, it took me awhile but it does come back.

Good luck :)

Terrific. I also used to plan my drinking around being alone. I still like my alone time but now can plan to actually do something with that time. I think drinking for me changed from being something that helped me live to being something that stopped me from living. Took some time. But it eventually happened. You have a great plan. Enjoy your busy day.

You'll learn to love alone time again :)
How did you go watching football on the weekend?

D

It was fine Dee. And yesterday was fine as well. Don’t feel any different. Not really too sure how I feel. I’m extremely busy this next week so I know there won’t be any temptations at all. So I don’t really know how to feel about that. I’m feeling unsatisfied.

Learning how to be alone and what to do - what I needed to do but also liked to do!- was a great thing gained in sobriety.

Enjoy your day.

I refuse to ever go back to where I was a year ago health wise and drinking wise. And I build off that daily. So that’s a positive. I just still hate everything to do with alcohol. I hate it so much. And just because I got through yesterday all alone and managed to do it, it feels like it’s not that big of a deal. That that’s what normal is. Oh well. Today is another day so on goes the battle.

Good stuff man. As Dee said above, you'll learn to start treasuring your time alone. And I was a drinker whose later and last stage of drinking was all about me being alone - my wife and kids, my friends, my job - I did whatever I could to find alone time to feed my demons.

What I came to realize is that I was never fully alone - I was with myself, my soul, psyche, whatever term best suits. I was there with my Self and the poison, killing my aspirations, hurting my health, wasting my life. And finally not wanting that, not being able to deal anymore with the pain, panic and suffering I was causing my Self, made me stop drinking when I was alone. Might not be pc, but I manned up, righted my ship. Now that alone time, with my Self, is full of wonder, peace and opportunity.

Thanks for the honest and thoughtful post. Stay strong, it's worth it.

I’m sure it will come together. I feel more positive about the future now than I have in the past. I’m not worried about getting this figured out. I just want it done NOW. I’m impatient and that’s my problem. Everything else has been relatively easy except for this. I’m my own worst enemy. I have to be accountable to my self when I’m alone.

Patience leaves taste bitter but it's fruit is ultimately sweet (Or something like that)

You're doing great man hang in there were with you

Totally understand! These parts I highlighted- pretty much every alcoholic I know and certainly this one are the impatient sort. Especially once we get sober and can start to see and experience good sober days and experiences.

I have to be accountable to myself all the time. Perhaps especially when alone, at the start indeed, but ultimately I'm the one who has to stay in my recovery.

Recognizing the "danger" flags is a good thing you're sharing. Acting on them in the right ways to keep sober is the best thing.

You can do this. What's up for today?

Thanks August. It’s good to know I’m not totally talking out of my butt. Lol

:lmao I find that we rarely are, around here! Someone has to know whatever it is we share!!