thomas11

For what its worth I quit in October 2015, at the year mark I started feeling emotions, and yet it was only a couple months ago I spent an entire morning overflowing with emotions, tears flowing. So much stuff happened (nothing criminal, just hard knocks) while I was actively drinking I think those emotions that should have appared at the time, are surfacing later.

thomas11

double post

August252015

That's a great point by thomas11.

While I have described my recovery as pretty pink all along, and my emotional stability is strong overall, there have been moments and even short periods (like a couple days, and one recent period of about 10 days) of some kind of "down."

I am an AA person and did my 4/5 steps (resentments and sharing with another person) about 6 mo sober and shortly after just fell apart sobbing in the middle of the night when I had woken up for some reason. Emotional processing of my past, for sure. And some relief I'd gotten it out.

There was significant emotional stress in my family starting in late Sep, through the first of Dec - that was an important and celebratory day, and I CRASHED emotionally the next day. There was that 10 day period of depression where I had to use all the tools I have learned in sobriety to get back in balance.

It's a learning process as we go along and one of the things that starts out as weird, unwelcome, jarring is actually having to feel stuff. That gets better, and yet still follows the path of life and its ups and downs. All of it's better than drinking, though!

Fearlessat50

I cried a lot. I was very irritable, felt hopeless, anxious, depressed, even suicidal a couple times. I also felt restless and rushed like I was always running out of time, which was kind of strange at first. But it made sense later when I realized how much time and energy I had out into drinking and hiding it and how I was always rushing around so I could get to having that next drink and trying to never let the buzz wear off.

I think it depends on life circumstances too. Some of my emotions were due to tough family challenges. But I still deal with special needs parenting issues, and with the alcohol gone, I don’t have the same intensity of emotion. I do get upset, sometimes even have an urge to drink, but when I allow my feelings, it passes and I am more apt to just handle things proactively.

Fearlessat50

I have had that same experience too, Tomas.

WaterOx

The pink cloud is an interesting topic. The first time I quit for 6 months, the pink cloud hit after about a month sober. It took me by surprise and I didn't expect to feel so good.

Now, as I am on a new path and Day 10, I almost feel like the pink cloud came on the moment I decided to be sober again.

That's the silver lining of relapse, I suppose. You know what to expect

MLD51

I was all over the place emotionally for a while - probably a couple of months until things started to even out. I swung wildly between feeling elated to be waking up clear-headed and taking control of every day in a way I had long forgotten I knew how to do, and feeling sad, depressed, remorseful, embarrassed. Everything was amplified. Good and bad. I'd be laughing and enjoying myself one minute, and it seemed like the next minute something would hit me and I'd start to cry. As others have noted, I was also irritable. Lights were too bright, sounds were too loud, things were moving too fast. I would get easily overwhelmed and have to retreat to my bedroom and meditate or sleep. I slept a lot in the early days.

After a few months, everything started to even out and I felt almost "normal" emotionally and physically. Normal in quotes, because who knows what normal even is?

Hats

I like this topic, It reminds me of where I was 501 days ago. The emotions & feelings I felt in the 1st month were absolutely horrendous and terrifying. Thank god for my sponsor who helped me through it as I didn't have a clue on how to handle them. The biggest issue I had was the anxiety and panic attacks, they were so bad and I worked myself up over every little thing, I felt hopeless and all my problems I conjured up in my head made me feel like there was no way out. I was in such mental & emotional pain I almost admitted myself to the hospital... After getting through a few weeks, I remember a lot of crying. I would break down and cry constantly. Once again, thank god for my sponsor and others that helped me through it. Today when I look back, all that anxiety, fear & tension was a combination of withdrawal and distorted thinking. The crying, they wear tears of healing, from years of built up emotions that I kept inside and dumped alcohol in me to keep them there. Once I made it through that life seemed to improve very quickly, day by day I got better, felt better, thinking clearer and started to develop some hope. I found a god of my understanding and started into the 12 steps with the help of my sponsor.
Long story short, the beginning was a nightmare followed by a light at the end of the tunnel with hope.