TacoDude

Today I was at the condiment/salsa bar at a local taco place (yes, I know this may be a shock to some of you ) to get some accompaniments for my lunch burrito.

In the past, filling up those little salsa cups was a real pain, because more often than not, I couldn't hold the spoon or the cup very steady. It was pathetic, really, spilling salsa everywhere, hoping no one was looking at what a mess I was. The shakes affected other things as well, not the least of which was being able to write or sign my name legibly.

Today, on day 7, my hands were steady as can be. The bloating and redness on my neck and face have pretty much gone. Food tastes better, I'm more aware of subtle sounds, scents, things around me than I was 10 days ago. And I am relishing all of it. It's mind blowing how powerfully long term alcohol abuse dulls the senses.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow, day 8!

Until then, I plan on taking a long walk, a kettle bell workout, then a hot bath, then preparing a lovely meal for my wife and I.

Life is good, getting better...

lessgravity

Nice work, it's the little things. Sometimes I truly can't believe all the real pain and suffering an alcoholic good through - and that we self-inflict adds a depth to the pain. Sigh. I'm so happy to be out of those woods.

Keep it moving man. Congrats on day 7.

Leonidas

I hear ya Dude. I'm on day 7 as well. Feeling better and better each day now. Good work!

Tonymblue

That’s great. I’m happy that you’re living your life again.

Verdantia

Good on you for day 7, TacoDude (and you as well, Leonidas.) It is wonderful to notice these good physical changes that sobriety brings, and as you continue this amazing path you will see many more. When I began my sober journey 3 years ago as of Dec 23 I was a bit chunky at 145, I would get winded easily heading up flights of stairs and had blood pressure veering towards high. One of the silver linings of having wrecked my car and using my bike as transport is being on it every day, pretty much--through the wicked Florida summer to this glorious, crisp winter pleasure--since 2015 and in the process have lost 40 lbs; my blood pressure was 105/68 at the doctor's office today. My blood work is perfect including liver function now--I also used to have very low levels of sodium and potassium that could've been life-threatening--as in heart-stopping. I honestly do not know how I managed not to have killed myself and that my body is responding to all of the exercise (I also do yoga regularly) and getting strong and athletic, something I never used to be! I hope you continue posting and keeping strong in your commitment to sobriety --it is a decision you will always treasure and I wish you all the best.

Hevyn

That's wonderful news, TacoDude. It it so freeing to have it out of our system. Let the healing begin.

least

Congrats on the first of many sober weeks! Keep going, it gets better as long as you stay sober.

thomas11

Well done, stay the course and things get better and better. The food tasting better really surprised me. I love to eat.

MindfulMan

Congrats! It keeps getting better.

August252015

I love this!!! My shakes were horrific and could only be (temporarily) stopped by drinking more. I remember being a server when still drinking and if I worked lunch straight thru dinner shifts by the end of the eve I could barely write orders. No way someone else could have understood them if I had to get them to put an order in the computer. Horrible.

I too had very low levels of good stuff and very high levels of bad stuff! Continuous sobriety was the only way to get that stuff right. Now, I drink too much water (seriously, that is a thing. Just like I did w vodka.... ) and have to address that low sodium thing!

Keep going - like everyone says, it really does keep getting better.

DontRemember

I legit think everyone gets a bit of 'stage fright' when faced with filling those little pastic salsa containers. I know I was worse when withdrawing,but I'm about to go make a mess filling mine now. Sidenote: I've been waiting for 'taco Tuesday' to have tacos. Since I noticed your name last week, I've been craving tacos.

TacoDude

I was talking with my wife last night about this thread I posted. Like you, August, the only thing that made the shakes subside was more alcohol. I reached a point in the prior six months to my new recovery that all I pretty much looked forward to every day was 5:30 every night. My addiction was consuming my very life force, and I was but a pale shadow of who I once was. When I realized this, I knew I needed, but more importantly, wanted to make a change.

Last night my wife commented on how bright my eyes were, how much more alive I feel and look. Things do indeed keep getting better, even if just a tiny bit every day if we stay the course!

TacoDude

No need to wait for Tuesday for tacos....

JustTony

Shaking when trying to fill in a form, write notes, sign a golf card - just about anything that involves handwriting in front of others was deeply, deeply embarrassing. What makes it worse was that I was widely known as a person that (used to) have good handwriting.

Other things like drinking a coffee in a meeting and holding the cup with both hands .... seeing eyes watching you put it to your mouth.... knowing eyes.....

I’m on day eight (been here many times) and I hope never to go back to that shameful existence again.

OceanGuy

The sad thing is for me it has been the opposite. Since I've been in recovery, I've spooned salsa out of a jar at home and shook it back and forth so that it landed on my tacos or burritos equally (at least in my bizarre mind). Unfortunately, a relative always seems to be eyeballing me from afar when I do this, because it looks like I'm unable to hold my spoon still and have severe shakes that are splorshing the salsa all over my plate.

Ayers

I used to dread being invited for breakfast. Getting that fork to your mouth without dropping the egg, putting the coffee cup back down in the saucer - trying to do it smoothly , without a rattle - and yes, the handwriting. And here's one for the girls - try putting on eyeliner and mascara when you have the shakes - whooo - not nice!!!

MindfulMan

Shakes...one of the biggest things I don't miss. I didn't know that my entire work group had nicknamed me "Mr. Shakes" behind my back. When I found that out I stopped....for awhile. One of my year long sobriety periods about 10 years ago.

Now it's been almost 2 years continuous. Don't miss it.

Don't miss shakes, hangovers, or wondering if I was going to jail if I got behind the wheel, like, every day. Miraculous that I never got a DUI or killed someone. I did hit a parked car on my way to my final doctor appointment before I checked into rehab.

Have you ever been to Leo's Tacos on La Brea and Venice? Behind a gas station, amazing al pastor on a spit. Huge lines always, people from all over LA. Just found another good one on Arlington and Washington right off the freeway. Similar, wonder if it's an outpost.

And yes, it's great to be able to fill the cups with salsa (and pickled onions, and pico de gallo, and habanero salsa (OUCH)!

SnazzyDresser

I like your zesty style, TacoDude! I was the same way with the shaky hands, feels so great knowing that you're making progress. And many other even better things are waiting ahead for you in sobriety, TD!

August252015

530 pm? I was 530 am just to start, by the last 6 mo of my drinking. Yep, I was that person I never thought I'd be in so many ways.

And that part about clear eyes and skin and hair and...one of my favorite things that started happening in recovery! I started seeing my amazing hair gurus (hair has always been a big thing for me) a month before I quit drinking, so right at 3 yrs ago (my 3 yr anniversary is Feb 21). Yesterday when I was getting highlights I saw a little card for an Aveda product and asked about it. My dude says "that's one of the things I used on you when I was doing everything I could just to keep hair on your head!" Now, I get compliments all the time.

I struggle with stuff any healthy 42 yr old might - my thyroid has to be maintained, for example - and think I am darn lucky that what I inflicted on my poor body even puts me close to the category of "healthy 42 year old"!!! And I'm admittedly vain enough to briefly indulge in appreciation of compliments

Helps me give them to others, too!

NoGoodNamesLeft

Oh man can I relate to the shakes. In the morning, I'd avoid people for as long as possible. I'd wait for it to subside, telling myself every time, "You need to stop." But, as soon as I'd get home from work, I'd pour that glass of wine or have that beer (which inevitably turned into 4-6).

For a long time I told myself it was okay, after all, I wasn't drunk the next day--but the shakes were there to remind me I wasn't okay. "You need to stop", I'd say to myself over and over, only to repeat the same process every evening. I'd rationalize, try to live a normal life (work out, cook, eat healthy). Drink, shake, rationalize, repeat. The phony life I was living was exhausting.

After one final conversation with myself, I stopped. No more rationalizing, no more excuses. I was getting older and the effects of alcohol were catching up to me. I'm extremely thankful and though I have struggles, it's worth it. I get up in the morning with a clear head and no longer need to think about whether or not my hands are shaking.

Stick with it, we've all been through it. Your health and well being are worth it.