Profoundly unhappy
 

Desperation is a good place to start. Stay busy and pour out anything you have today and don't get anymore. This can be your last day 1, Highercall. I'm glad you reached out.

I agree with dafunbra.
Nobody needs that amount of pain and misery to be their life.
Alcohol is too big for you.

Please don’t take the slide,
Heroes and villains have tried and died.

It can all be fixed by taking a stand.
You can do it.
Take the power back.

Who are you hurting with your drinking? Your self, most obviously. But what about the family you mention?

I don't mean this as a criticism in any way - I did plenty of damage to those I love the most with my drinking. But in the it was the leveridge that I used most to finally quit forever and for good. You're lucky to have a family, there many of us who don't have that kind of leverage to help us get sober. Focus on them and what you can do to finally take care of them in the way that you know you are able to do. Sobriety is the only way.

Why not post here before you drink? Why not go to an AA/SMART meeting when you get the urge to drink?

I havent been on here since Aug but lurk, my last post was to you in your thread.

"Originally Posted by Highercall
Hi ******

You have been posting a lot recently. Coming up with a lot of suggestions like counciling/ rehab.

You now need to take action. commit to being alcohol free for 14 days. During this time your brain chemistry should improve and allow you to think more clearly and decide what to do.

If you earn good money/ have a good pension then you have achieved in life. Most alcoholics have no job and no family.

Concentrate on the next 14 days. Good luck ����"

Since then I have noticed you always post after the event, get some exceptional advice then disappear only for the pattern to return.

If you are serious about wanting to get sober, you have to throw everything at it. Whether that is an AA meeting every day or some alternative, anything that can help get through the urges. Actions are what speak volumes not words and promises.

I was unhappy too, for a long time. And there's no need to explain how much misery that alcoholism has caused you and your family - they understand it very clearly due to your actions, so did mine.

You say you are desperate - what exactly do you mean by that? Are you willing to take action and follow some of the advice you've been given here? If not, you can expect more of the same. I'd suggest re-reading this thread that you started right before Christmas as it contains a wealth of good advice on how you might go about making some change in your life

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-solution.html

No need to explain the misery. I lived there for the last ten years of my drinking career.
I know it all to well.
I hope you can end the madness for both yourself and your family.

If you're desperate enough to get sober, are you ready to go to any length necessary? Because that's what it took me.
I was desperate, too. I couldn't drink and I couldn't not drink. What a mess I turned my life into.
But I sought help and it's been ten years since this drunk has had any alcohol.
You can do it too. Be willing.

Thanks for your post it helped me stay sober today.

As letsgetsorted said, I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Each time I binged, I suffered horrific depression and anxiety for a few days. This would eventually pass, I'd start to feel better and I'd be back to drinking with friends and foolishly thinking that I'd be able to moderate. I was unable to moderate. Well I could on some occasions, but not all.
I had to make the decision that my health and sobriety were MORE inportant than my desire to drink with friends. I stopped my pointless struggle to become the normal sensible drinker I was many years ago because I realized that version is gone and can't magically be restored.

Desperation can be useful, if its translated into action HC.
Make this time the last time.


your decision to drink brings you back again and again to the same dark place..

Choose a path of real action - follow it - and you never have to feel this way again- honestly :)

D

I'm sure you are familiar with the fable, "the boy who cried wolf"? Well...

HC, you post immediately after a binge about how awful you feel and how you need to stop the madness. You then receive a bounty of sound advise from those that have been where you are and succeeded. Yet, I never see a follow up response to any of it by you. Not until your next guilt ridden hangover.

Action needs to be taken. Try something simple, start by acknowledging and thanking those that continue to try to help you. Try a little give and take on these boards and share a little more about your troubles other than "drank again. Feel awful. Need to stop". Please, try something different. Happiness and sobriety is waiting. But it doesn't just happen.

Unlike the ending in the fable, the townspeople here, will always answer a cry for help.

I was unhappy when I was drinking. It took a few months of sobriety, and practicing gratitude every day, before the unhappiness dissipated. If you stay sober, I promise you that you will lose that awful feeling.

You need to work at staying sober. Every morning when you wake up, you remind yourself "I am an alcoholic and I must not drink today". That is very important, I have friends who still say that to themselves first thing every morning many years after their last drink. Just in case they may forget or get complacent, they remind themselves, "remember, you are an alcoholic, life may be good right now, but you're still an alcoholic".

Then go to a meeting a day. Throw yourself into AA. Listen to the stories. Exercise. Practice gratitude. Write a plan. You need to be proactive every day, not just the days when you are hungover.

I hope you're on your way to a better life, HC. There's nothing in it for us - only regret, remorse, & that terrible empty feeling. It never has to happen again.