The Relaspe Ladder
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
The Relaspe Ladder
Ahhh..the Relaspe Ladder...I like this.
Relapse is at the top of a nine step ladder of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The lowest rung is called happy memories . "Happy memories" means that you are thinking about the good times you had while you were using. The next rung up is called "I wasn't that bad ." This occurs when you tell yourself you weren't really that bad, that your addiction was someone else's fault, that your problem was caused by anything except your disease. The next rung higher is stopping treatment. This means that you cease going to meetings, you stop practicing the steps, you don't have time to see your therapist, you stop talking to your sponsor, you don't do your daily meditation. When you stop treatment, you pretend that you can stay sober by doing nothing. The fourth rung is called high risk situations . Examples are you return to the bar that you used to frequent, you begin hanging out with your old using friends, you spend long periods of time isolating in the basement where you used to drink vodka. You put yourself in these situations not thinking that you will use there, but just to experience the feeling of being there again. The fifth rung is called, emotional imbalance . During emotional imbalance, something causes you to get really angry, irritated or otherwise emotional and you remember how your drug, drink or behavior took away the pain of the emotion. You may even get really happy and you remember how you always drank to celebrate. Now you are really getting higher on the ladder, and like any ladder, the higher you go, the more dangerous the climb. Also, the higher you go, the more committed you are to reaching the top. The sixth rung is fantasizing. Now, you are spending increasing periods of your day thinking about using for no apparent reason. Fantasizing leads to the seventh rung, getting ready to use . This means you intend to use and you plan how you are going to relapse. You tell yourself that tonight when my husband is asleep, I am going to sneak out to the Bar. You make arrangements to buy drugs. You return to the internet porn site. You get dressed to go to the casino. You think through the exact steps of where you are going to go to get your drugs, drink, or act out. On the next rung, you actually get the drugs or order the drink. You acquire the tools of relapse. On this rung, you may feel a terrible panic, and unless you reach out to someone (which is now incredibly difficult to do because you are so committed to reaching the top), you step up to the final and ninth rung which is Relapse . As you know, the Relapse rung has a crack in it and cannot bear your weight. So you come crashing down. Sometimes the crash happens immediately. Sometimes, the crack worsens over time. But since there is a crack, you will fall. If you survive the fall, you will feel guilt at having relapsed. You will resolve to stop using. And unless you get treatment, you will start the terrible climb back up the relapse ladder beginning with the first rung which is…..
To do: If you are on the Relapse Ladder, you need to get off on the lowest rung possible BY TELLING ON YOUR DISEASE! Remember there are two parties involved in a relapse. There is you and there is your disease. If you tell someone that you may be on the Relapse Ladder, you are telling on your disease, not you. So, ask yourself if you are on any of the nine rungs. If so, say to yourself, "I must get off the ladder now" five times to yourself with increasing emphasis. Then pick up the phone and tell your trusted friend, confidant, therapist, or mentor which rung of the ladder you are on and that you want to get off. (Leaving a voicemail message also works). If you can’t connect with someone, read your recovery literature, pray to your Higher Power, write down which rung you are on and list the consequences which made you want to get sober in the first place. Do something recovery oriented and don't substitute your drug of choice with another drug or bad behavior lest you start a new addiction. Then try to connect with a supportive person as soon as possible. This process works regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs. Remember, sharing with another doesn’t mean that you only reach out when you have a recognizable craving or urge to use. Sharing means that you reach out and discuss where you may be on the Relapse Ladder.
© 2016 Blitzen, LLC, all rights reserved.
Relapse is at the top of a nine step ladder of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The lowest rung is called happy memories . "Happy memories" means that you are thinking about the good times you had while you were using. The next rung up is called "I wasn't that bad ." This occurs when you tell yourself you weren't really that bad, that your addiction was someone else's fault, that your problem was caused by anything except your disease. The next rung higher is stopping treatment. This means that you cease going to meetings, you stop practicing the steps, you don't have time to see your therapist, you stop talking to your sponsor, you don't do your daily meditation. When you stop treatment, you pretend that you can stay sober by doing nothing. The fourth rung is called high risk situations . Examples are you return to the bar that you used to frequent, you begin hanging out with your old using friends, you spend long periods of time isolating in the basement where you used to drink vodka. You put yourself in these situations not thinking that you will use there, but just to experience the feeling of being there again. The fifth rung is called, emotional imbalance . During emotional imbalance, something causes you to get really angry, irritated or otherwise emotional and you remember how your drug, drink or behavior took away the pain of the emotion. You may even get really happy and you remember how you always drank to celebrate. Now you are really getting higher on the ladder, and like any ladder, the higher you go, the more dangerous the climb. Also, the higher you go, the more committed you are to reaching the top. The sixth rung is fantasizing. Now, you are spending increasing periods of your day thinking about using for no apparent reason. Fantasizing leads to the seventh rung, getting ready to use . This means you intend to use and you plan how you are going to relapse. You tell yourself that tonight when my husband is asleep, I am going to sneak out to the Bar. You make arrangements to buy drugs. You return to the internet porn site. You get dressed to go to the casino. You think through the exact steps of where you are going to go to get your drugs, drink, or act out. On the next rung, you actually get the drugs or order the drink. You acquire the tools of relapse. On this rung, you may feel a terrible panic, and unless you reach out to someone (which is now incredibly difficult to do because you are so committed to reaching the top), you step up to the final and ninth rung which is Relapse . As you know, the Relapse rung has a crack in it and cannot bear your weight. So you come crashing down. Sometimes the crash happens immediately. Sometimes, the crack worsens over time. But since there is a crack, you will fall. If you survive the fall, you will feel guilt at having relapsed. You will resolve to stop using. And unless you get treatment, you will start the terrible climb back up the relapse ladder beginning with the first rung which is…..
To do: If you are on the Relapse Ladder, you need to get off on the lowest rung possible BY TELLING ON YOUR DISEASE! Remember there are two parties involved in a relapse. There is you and there is your disease. If you tell someone that you may be on the Relapse Ladder, you are telling on your disease, not you. So, ask yourself if you are on any of the nine rungs. If so, say to yourself, "I must get off the ladder now" five times to yourself with increasing emphasis. Then pick up the phone and tell your trusted friend, confidant, therapist, or mentor which rung of the ladder you are on and that you want to get off. (Leaving a voicemail message also works). If you can’t connect with someone, read your recovery literature, pray to your Higher Power, write down which rung you are on and list the consequences which made you want to get sober in the first place. Do something recovery oriented and don't substitute your drug of choice with another drug or bad behavior lest you start a new addiction. Then try to connect with a supportive person as soon as possible. This process works regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs. Remember, sharing with another doesn’t mean that you only reach out when you have a recognizable craving or urge to use. Sharing means that you reach out and discuss where you may be on the Relapse Ladder.
© 2016 Blitzen, LLC, all rights reserved.
Last edited by Dee74; 01-02-2019 at 09:42 PM. Reason: assumed copyright
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
This is really, really good and such an accurate metaphor.
Thank you for sharing.
As my state recently legalized cannabis and is rapidly heading toward the explosion of pervasive recreational pot - I have found myself occasionally stepping onto this ladder.
While pot was never the problem for me that alcohol was - at the same time it was also a sacrifice of my life and it was co-mingled with my use of alcohol in ways that led directly to alcohol relapses in the past.
I appreciate this share, as it helps me see myself pointing mentally and emotionally in a direction that doesn't honor my sobriety and puts me at risk.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing.
As my state recently legalized cannabis and is rapidly heading toward the explosion of pervasive recreational pot - I have found myself occasionally stepping onto this ladder.
While pot was never the problem for me that alcohol was - at the same time it was also a sacrifice of my life and it was co-mingled with my use of alcohol in ways that led directly to alcohol relapses in the past.
I appreciate this share, as it helps me see myself pointing mentally and emotionally in a direction that doesn't honor my sobriety and puts me at risk.
Thank you.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Thanks, mistory - I have not heard the pre-relapse process expressed this way. It is a great way to talk to my sponsees about it - the ultimate premise being what I believe and see, that actually drinking is the last step in a relapse.
The only thing I'd add for myself is that emotional sobriety is my first rung. If I keep that in balance, I don't proceed to any of the others. That is buoyed and maintained by doing the right things (meetings, etc) and next right choices (surroundings, etc). That second part has changed and evened out as sobriety has continued for me- the freedom to go and do whatever, is true for me - AND I find that I want to do the better thing as my rule of thumb.
Thanks for sharing!
The only thing I'd add for myself is that emotional sobriety is my first rung. If I keep that in balance, I don't proceed to any of the others. That is buoyed and maintained by doing the right things (meetings, etc) and next right choices (surroundings, etc). That second part has changed and evened out as sobriety has continued for me- the freedom to go and do whatever, is true for me - AND I find that I want to do the better thing as my rule of thumb.
Thanks for sharing!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 520
I can relate to this, every step. The scarey part is I can climb several or even many steps in a very short time, so being aware is a great defence to have. I'm going to keep a copy of this with me and commit it to memory. thank you 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 6
Having been through this before, I found this to an eerily accurate description of the relapse process, at least how I experienced it. I remember hearing many times that relapses are planned....and this explains it. If you ignore the warnings in these ladder steps....you are planning a relapse whether conscious or not.
I know it, because I've done it.
Thank you.
I know it, because I've done it.
Thank you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
