Fibro Freak

Hello All,

Would like to introduce myself and say how happy I am to find this board.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Myofacial pain in February 2004 after 6 years of going from doctor to doctor to find out why I was feeling so bad. I really got the runaround - from "it's in your head" to "your cheeks are too rosy to be sick" so after 5 years and nearly suicidal from pain I decided to self medicate myself. I started taking hydrocodone I had left over from surgery, and when I ran out I went in search on the Internet and found it was quite easy to get more there. I started off taking as prescribed, but due to tolerance and what I know now to be a lot of emotional issues started taking more and more until I was up to about 20 Norco (10/325) a day. This past August I realized I was harming my health, was having a lot of weird physical side effects, and that my entire life revolved around my next dose, my next refill, on and on. I finally broke down and went to see a pain management doctor who told me I needed to go to detox or he wouldn't treat me. I knew it was the right thing to do. I spent 7 days at what I feel was one of the worst facilities I could ever imagine, but it did get the job done. After that I went straight in to a month long pain management program to learn how to deal with pain without using pain medication - but rather using relaxation techniques, biofeedback, physical therapy, aquatic exercises and psycological counseling. I loved the program and learned a lot of valuable information - however I did realize when I got home I still had pain. I will say that a great deal of my pain disappeared after I stopped taking the high dose of narcotics, the horrific pain I was experiencing was mostly withdrawal, not pain from my condition. During the program no pain medication was allowed and after the program the pain management doctor said he would not prescribe anything for pain for me - a muscle relaxer and an anti depressant is what he typically prescribes for Fibromyalgia. I did not attend any meetings of any kind after my detox.

I went exactly two months without any pain medication of any kind but was experiencing pain that was preventing me from doing many physical activities so I decided that I could be unlike anyone else and go back on the pain medication, but at a much lower dose. I realize this could be a big mistake, I could be fooling myself - but I am taking 2 to 3 per day, and not every day - only as needed. So far it's working just fine. I consider myself lucky that one pill at a time instead of the 4 at a time I was taking before actually does help the pain and I have no cravings or desire to take more.

So - I welcome any thoughts or similar experiences anyone has had here. I realize I could end up right back where I was before - but I like to think I can control this now knowing what a bad effect the high dose was having on me. Also I have to keep into consideration I do have real pain that isn't going to go away and still can't find a doctor who takes my condition serious enough to prescribe pain medication. I'm doing the exercises and everything I learned in the program.

I'm excited to meet some people here and learn of other people who have been through this and if anyone has actually been successful in taking something in moderation that at one time they were abusing.

Time2Surrender

Hello Fibro! Welcome to SoberRecovery.I am glad you found this place.You will like it here.The people are really nice and you can get planty of suppport here.I dont have any experience with the drug you are talking about,but I have seen plenty of other people in here that do.So,have a look around and Im sure someone will be along shortly with some more advice and support.

2dayzmuse

Welcome Fibro,

Love your eyes! I just wanted to say welcome and good luck. I'm an alcoholic and have found a great amount of support here at SR. I'm sure you will as well. Stick around, read, post. We can share our ES&H together.

LeAnne

sherbear5104

Welcome to SR. There are alot of wonderful people here. You might want to check out the Narcotics Anonymous forum. Read a few post over there and see if you can identify with them. Glad to have you here.

Sherry

Time2Surrender

Fibro,while you are learning your way around in here and reading posts,you can also do a search on "Norco" and read the previous posts.I hope this helps.

Phinneas

Hi, FF, and welcome to SR. Reading your post set off lots of warning bells for me. I am concerned that you are heading down a very slippery slope. I understand that you have legitimate pain, however you are self-medicating with a highly addictive and dangerous drug that you were at one time addicted to. You do not have a legitimate Rx which means you are using the drugs inappropriately. I say these things out of great care and concern. Opiates destroyed my life and nearly killed me. I am now struggling out of overwhelming despair and pain and starting over again in recovery. I go to meetings, I have a sponsor and I work the steps. For me, an addict, I need to do these things to save my life. If I can, I would like to save you from some of the misery I experienced. Therefore, I urge you to throw those pills away and do whatever it takes to manage your pain without opiate narcotics.

Only you can know if you are an addict or not, FF. I hope you find relief and peace without these pills.

jojo

Dawn10

I echo what jojo has shared. By self medication, you are using inappropriately no matter how "controlled" you think the doses are. The fact that you posted indicates to me, at least that deep down you suspect you have an addicition problem. You seem to be a very intelligent person and have gone through some steps that are appropriate. Please consider what Jojo and I suggest:
Try an NA meeting. Great support and lots of answers are offered there.
You also indicated you had some underlying emotional issues that contribute to your using. BINGO! That was one of my big surprises. Although I started to use because of pain, I continued because I liked the way it made me feel--or not feel the pain of stuff in my life. If you are able to afford it, please try therapy. Best thing I did for me in recovery was see a therapist regularly.
Keep posting. There are many here who share your experience and can offer you hope!

Fibro Freak

Thank you all for the warm welcome and jojo and dawn - thank you for your honesty. Sometimes the truth hurts but is important to hear. I didn't realize until I actually wrote it down and read it how ridiculous it sounds. I am scheduled to see a therapist - couldn't get an appointment for 6 weeks but I am going to pursue it. I think I still have time to get this under control - I'm going to stick around here and read and learn. You all seem to be a great bunch of people and it makes me proud to read some of the success stories here and the struggles people have gone through to get sober. I know in my heart I can't let myself go back "there" but I still have a lot of issues to deal with.

Thank you again for making me feel welcome. It helps so much to know other people know exactly what you're going tthrough - I think unless you've been through it yourself it's hard to really relate.

Chy

Welcome to SR Fibro!

Phinneas

:hoo

I am jumpin' for joy, FF. I am so glad you are here and also that you are willing to see a therapist and work on your issues. We all have issues, there's no shame in that. And for me, too, there was (and still is) huge relief in surrounding myself with people who understand what it's like because they have been there too. I get that here and I get that in meetings. Keep coming back, we can help each other, OK?

jojo

Dawn10

Yeah FF!
you will not be sorry that you see a therapist. That was the best thing I could have done. My therapist is so wonderful and she herself is a recovering alcoholic, so she knew from where I was coming. I still touch base with her on and off even though I don't need weekly or even monthly sessions. But every once in awhile, I need a reality check, you know?
Until you can get there, start checking out NA meetings. You can get a different kind of support there, but just as valuable.
Dawn