Leonidas

Thx Lonewolf, I appreciate that.

Felt much better waking up today than it did yesterday, no doubt.

Lonewolf22

Me too. The first days into it I always look forward to sleep just to wake up and feel that little bit better

Leonidas

ya no doubt. I certainly enjoy being able to get a good solid sleep on my own now(not using booze to pass out), waking up and feeling refreshed, instead of like trash lol.

Lonewolf22

Yep, waking up just to drink to feel better again and getting more on a night just so there is stock for the next morning! Bloody torture lol
I just hope I feel a tad better tomorrow so I can go to the shop! I only have cup-a-soups to eat lol

Leonidas

Oh man, I hope you make it too. A guy needs more than a cup of soup to get by lol.

I was always a end of the day drinker so never really had those issues. I generally get all my work and errands done before drinking. However this did not prevent me from drinking a fifth of whiskey each night afterwards.

Lonewolf22

Yeah, I look at cup-a-soups are a very last resort lol it's just that panic of going to the same shop you have gone in drunk to get more drink and wondering how to react to people. I think I was trying to chat up a shop assistant a week or so ago :/ cringe lol

I'm always amazed when I hear people maintain a job whilst drinking. That must be brutal?

Leonidas

Well I work from home now these days which just gives me even more time on my hands but back when I was working full time with the city it was pretty much the same deal. Wake up, go to work, come home, get chores done and start drinking until pass out time. I had a pretty set in place routine so I never even thought of drinking until my shift was almost over.

courage2

You've written about boredom or similar a lot -- seems like you know that's the underlying problem for you. But probably (?) there's a problem below the boredom. Why are you bored? Do you find life boring... or are you un-involved in life?

Leonidas

good questions courage but I think I just really need to find more stuff to do with my time. I'm a single guy, with no kids(but 2 dogs though lol), who lives by myself and works from home so I think I just have too much time on my hands.

Lonewolf22

Yeah filling up time is a tricky one. I mean, I think if it wasn't for my anxiety and depression I'd be quite the party seeker. I think I just love the spontaneity of drinking and the revelry when I'm at a safe level of drunkenness. I find that the hardest thing to replace. Not sure if you are the same but with having anxiety I tend to avoid people so spending so much time alone just makes me want to go wild.

I sometimes listen to the drink stories of actors like Richard Harris, Oliver Reed, Michael Caine- that sort of era. And I feel a tad envious that they could drink to such an extent and still have such fun times. It is just too much of a risk for me. I sometimes go too crazy and make an absolute fool of myself. Then it isn't fun and maybe if I go out to drink ten times over a period of time, 8 of them I will black out and do something ridiculous along with feeling horrendous for days afterwards. So I get that longing for something more stimulating. Later in my recovery that is definitely the thinking I need to be careful of. So easy after a period of being sober to just think **** it, and pick up a drunk.

jryan19982

Great job on 13 days. Sounds like you found the problem in your plan which I think you knew all along. You have to keep your hands and mind busy which is very important especially in the early days. But it is very important once not drinking becomes routine and the rush of quitting is no longer there. Idle hands and idle mind killed me in a few of my failed attempts. Also I suggest giving AA a shot. I never thought it would do me any good because "it wasnt my thing" but there is a reason why it works for so many. Give it a shot; what else do you have to lose?

courage2

What's going on, Leonidas?