Long term alcoholic? Tried to quit and failed? If you cannot 'beat' the cravings try removing them.
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,183
Long term alcoholic? Tried to quit and failed? If you cannot 'beat' the cravings try removing them.
OK I'm sorry this is a long post but it was a really crucial issue for me and if you are reading this then it might be for you too.
I was a long term, active and fairly chronic alcoholic who had tried, REALLY TRIED, to quit but had always failed and no matter how I dressed it up it was for the same sad reason - I would suffer severe cravings every night and no matter how Iong I resisted they never let up. How long are we talking about? In 2014, my last year of drinking it was 17 and 23 days. Typing that now it seems no time at all and certainly not enough time to make going to bed sober the new normal but back then it was an eternity.
As an aside here I have always thought of myself as having strong willpower (no idea if that's true) but that meant it was crushingly disappointing to have it fail so miserably. I was paralysed with fear, I couldn't see how I could ever win the struggle against alcohol when my willpower came up so woefully short. Finding a solution was a combination of fear, luck and intuition I think.
I had better briefly profile my drinking. I drank spirits (whiskey) I drank until blackout and during the week I wouldn't begin my drinking until 9pm - the later I left it the less I would be able to drink until I passed out. Typing this is bringing back bad memories, sheesh! When I tried to quit my cravings would begin on my way home from work and just build from there, staying at full strength from about 7pm until I forced myself into bed for a largely sleepless night.
I know of other people here on SR who would start drinking much earlier in the day but consume at a slower pace throughout the day, a sip here or a swig there. I would be interested if they had any tips. My course of action was obviously tailored to myself but i'm pretty sure it can be adapted to other people's lifestyles.
So, it was quite simple really but as you can imagine, pretty hard to execute. [B]Basically I moved my entire day forward by about two hours getting up at 5am and made sure that first 2 hours contained at least an hour of walking or jogging. After that it was work as usual, commute home, prepare, cook, eat and clear up and by 8.30pm I was totally beat and ready to fall into bed. The AV would make a fleeting appearance but be trumped by my tiredness. ]Drinkers in early recovery often struggle with sleeping so it was a bonus.
There is a lot of literature on getting your mindset right to overcome the obstacles - good idea but is handy if you can reduce those obstacles too.
Incidentally here is a link to a "sticky" about dealing with cravings, it is very good.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
I was a long term, active and fairly chronic alcoholic who had tried, REALLY TRIED, to quit but had always failed and no matter how I dressed it up it was for the same sad reason - I would suffer severe cravings every night and no matter how Iong I resisted they never let up. How long are we talking about? In 2014, my last year of drinking it was 17 and 23 days. Typing that now it seems no time at all and certainly not enough time to make going to bed sober the new normal but back then it was an eternity.
As an aside here I have always thought of myself as having strong willpower (no idea if that's true) but that meant it was crushingly disappointing to have it fail so miserably. I was paralysed with fear, I couldn't see how I could ever win the struggle against alcohol when my willpower came up so woefully short. Finding a solution was a combination of fear, luck and intuition I think.
I had better briefly profile my drinking. I drank spirits (whiskey) I drank until blackout and during the week I wouldn't begin my drinking until 9pm - the later I left it the less I would be able to drink until I passed out. Typing this is bringing back bad memories, sheesh! When I tried to quit my cravings would begin on my way home from work and just build from there, staying at full strength from about 7pm until I forced myself into bed for a largely sleepless night.
I know of other people here on SR who would start drinking much earlier in the day but consume at a slower pace throughout the day, a sip here or a swig there. I would be interested if they had any tips. My course of action was obviously tailored to myself but i'm pretty sure it can be adapted to other people's lifestyles.
So, it was quite simple really but as you can imagine, pretty hard to execute. [B]Basically I moved my entire day forward by about two hours getting up at 5am and made sure that first 2 hours contained at least an hour of walking or jogging. After that it was work as usual, commute home, prepare, cook, eat and clear up and by 8.30pm I was totally beat and ready to fall into bed. The AV would make a fleeting appearance but be trumped by my tiredness. ]Drinkers in early recovery often struggle with sleeping so it was a bonus.
There is a lot of literature on getting your mindset right to overcome the obstacles - good idea but is handy if you can reduce those obstacles too.
Incidentally here is a link to a "sticky" about dealing with cravings, it is very good.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,183
It's not very sophisticated - just adding a couple of hours at zero dark thirty when there are no cravings and sleeping through a couple of hours during mid to late evening when the cravings are strongest - but it is effective. Of course the hard part is getting up early but fortunately no one is going to see how cr*p you look at that time in the morning.
Cravings are the principle weapons of addiction. If you can spike those guns it makes winning the war a lot easier.
Cravings are the principle weapons of addiction. If you can spike those guns it makes winning the war a lot easier.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I think exercise in general is good for early sobriety. I did a lot of walking and I know other people say the same. It's good for the body, mind and spirit and like you said it takes away a lot of the nervous energy and it kills a couple hours.
I combined walking with walking on really big hills - that made it hard for me and definitely helped with my anxiety, spinning thoughts and (therefore) cravings. Being totally focused on my body, physically, got me out of my head.
Combined with a good nutrition plan, my body and brain began to heal. It takes time. I drank a lot for a lot of years.
Thank God we found our way out.
I combined walking with walking on really big hills - that made it hard for me and definitely helped with my anxiety, spinning thoughts and (therefore) cravings. Being totally focused on my body, physically, got me out of my head.
Combined with a good nutrition plan, my body and brain began to heal. It takes time. I drank a lot for a lot of years.
Thank God we found our way out.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
Originally Posted by saoutchik 
As an aside here I have always thought of myself as having strong willpower (no idea if that's true) but that meant it was crushingly disappointing to have it fail so miserably. I was paralysed with fear, I couldn't see how I could ever win the struggle against alcohol when my willpower came up so woefully short. Finding a solution was a combination of fear, luck and intuition I think.
Filling the day to suppress the cravings was exhausting. I would find myself going to bed earlier all the time. Was the butt of many jokes by my kids and wife that dad was already in bed. They didn't understand what I was going through but they certainly notice and appreciate it now. Their sober dad is a ton of fun and a pretty great guy. (So they tell me)
Another great one Sao. Thanks.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Good post Saou, that a great tip. When I quit I naturally became very exausted. All I wanted to was to sleep. I loved sleeping. For the first time in forever, I was sleeping thru the night. So or me, it was the sleep that really helped to get thru those early weeks and months too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,153
Saoutchik,
This was a great opening post. Cravings are horrible. I could fight them and fight them for a couple of hours, and say to myself, "Look at me. I'm saying no to my cravings," (while focusing all my attention on my cravings). But then after patting myself on the back, I would go buy a bottle of whisky, sometimes at inflated bar prices, because the liquor store was now closed. All that back patting would go right down the drain. So did I do well for two hours of fighting, or in the end did I just wreck another night? It would have been better to ignore the cravings and do something else. And that is how I eventually did it.
The OP does suggest there are other ways to skin a cat. One of the important things I got from AA was that the meetings in my town were always at 8:00PM. This was good for me during the first few nights of withdrawal. My cravings would kick into full swing around 5:00PM. I could make it to 5:00PM without drinking, but by then the cravings would be kicking in full gear. I would start mentally getting ready for the 8:00PM meeting, which took my mind off the cravings. I use to think, "All I have to do is make it to the meeting," and this helped. At 7:00PM, I was physically in the process of putting on my shoes and combing my hair, actually engaged in getting ready, and was out the door in a half hour, because there would be other early birds hanging out waiting for the actual meeting to begin. This distraction was a big deal from me. I was looking forward to being with these people. And after the meeting, there was often a get together at a restaurant or someone's house.
The sharing part of the meeting always helped me let off steam, talking about successes or cravings, or how much I liked being there at the meeting, whatever. The meeting was over at 9:00PM and I felt an odd rejuvenation, and after a week or so, especially with an hour or two at a restaurant at the "alcoholic table," I could go home and get ready for bed, while thinking how nice (although strange) it was to be going to bed sober.
I think all the falder-rahl just took my mind off the cravings, which seemed to be more effective than sitting their fighting them like Superman, and then finally drinking after all the torment. It's better to let go of the cravings than to nurse them.
Thanks for that post, Saoutchik.
Now I'm going to read you link, and probably find out I was blathering on about something entirely different. LOL
This was a great opening post. Cravings are horrible. I could fight them and fight them for a couple of hours, and say to myself, "Look at me. I'm saying no to my cravings," (while focusing all my attention on my cravings). But then after patting myself on the back, I would go buy a bottle of whisky, sometimes at inflated bar prices, because the liquor store was now closed. All that back patting would go right down the drain. So did I do well for two hours of fighting, or in the end did I just wreck another night? It would have been better to ignore the cravings and do something else. And that is how I eventually did it.
The OP does suggest there are other ways to skin a cat. One of the important things I got from AA was that the meetings in my town were always at 8:00PM. This was good for me during the first few nights of withdrawal. My cravings would kick into full swing around 5:00PM. I could make it to 5:00PM without drinking, but by then the cravings would be kicking in full gear. I would start mentally getting ready for the 8:00PM meeting, which took my mind off the cravings. I use to think, "All I have to do is make it to the meeting," and this helped. At 7:00PM, I was physically in the process of putting on my shoes and combing my hair, actually engaged in getting ready, and was out the door in a half hour, because there would be other early birds hanging out waiting for the actual meeting to begin. This distraction was a big deal from me. I was looking forward to being with these people. And after the meeting, there was often a get together at a restaurant or someone's house.
The sharing part of the meeting always helped me let off steam, talking about successes or cravings, or how much I liked being there at the meeting, whatever. The meeting was over at 9:00PM and I felt an odd rejuvenation, and after a week or so, especially with an hour or two at a restaurant at the "alcoholic table," I could go home and get ready for bed, while thinking how nice (although strange) it was to be going to bed sober.
I think all the falder-rahl just took my mind off the cravings, which seemed to be more effective than sitting their fighting them like Superman, and then finally drinking after all the torment. It's better to let go of the cravings than to nurse them.
Thanks for that post, Saoutchik.
Now I'm going to read you link, and probably find out I was blathering on about something entirely different. LOL
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Thanks Sao for your insights. You mentioned the getting up at 5am and walking before work on the weekender thread a while back and it really stuck with me. This morning I got up at 5am, had 2 boiled eggs on toast and went swimming before work and I felt so much better for it all day. It’s going to be part of my work routine moving forward and I am already looking forward to going again tomorrow! Thanks for the tip off 
xx
xx
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
[QUOTE=saoutchik;7089440] Finding a solution was a combination of fear, luck and intuition I think.QUOTE]
I think there's another ingredient: commitment. You set your mind to creating a better life for yourself, Saoutchik. And you did it.
Thank you so much for sharing what helped you. It's so important to identify the measures that help us move beyond addiction.
Congratulations on another year of sobriety! I am so proud of you!
I think there's another ingredient: commitment. You set your mind to creating a better life for yourself, Saoutchik. And you did it.
Thank you so much for sharing what helped you. It's so important to identify the measures that help us move beyond addiction.
Congratulations on another year of sobriety! I am so proud of you!
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Posts: 3,964
I love this! I never really thought about it before, but I guess I did something similar. By adding new activities and fitting them in, structuring them on a regular basis as much as possible, I was able to stay sober. I added scheduled running to train for half marathons, yoga classes and meditation as well as therapy. All at scheduled times. Thank goodness my husband picked up the parenting slack! If I felt a craving in between, I laid down with my ear buds and fell asleep to a recovery meditation. I sure did nap a lot back then!
I think this is all good reinforcement about changing habits and routines to replace drinking rituals. And by repeating the practice over and over, life starts to change.
I think this is all good reinforcement about changing habits and routines to replace drinking rituals. And by repeating the practice over and over, life starts to change.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,807
Having a set routine is so important in beating cravings in early sobriety. I was only working part time when I first got sober, so I spent a lot of time going to IOP sessions, AA meetings, and going for long hikes. All of these things were scheduled. I also started getting up really early (5 am) even though I didn't really need to, and going to bed by 9. I still do that. I also napped a lot. Sleeping that much was not only necessary (I went through a period of near-exhaustion in the early days while I was going though withdrawal), but took up a bunch of time. The exercise I was getting helped sleep come easily.
Congratulations on 4 years, Sao!!
Congratulations on 4 years, Sao!!
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