lessgravity

I'm struck this morning, as I was yesterday on SR, with just how many of my fellow SR members, contemporaries of my sobriety (8.5 months, many years on this site) aren't posting here much these days. I don't need to mention names, there are many I am missing today. Many who contributed to my posts and helped get me sober. Many whose stories I read who I wanted to help as well. Many I disagreed with, many more who I was grateful to have made contact with on this path to sobriety.

I know that SR is just like the rooms in the real world. That people come and go. People get sober and don't need to be here all the time any more. Their lives get busy, work, family, etc get in the way of being active on SR.

But I also know that when I've disappeared for long stretches it was because I was thinking of drinking again, and then because I was drinking again. So I'm not entirely optimistic about many who no longer post.

Anyhow, not to be a downer on New Year's day but that's on my mind. And in the end it makes me more grateful than I ever have been to finally be sober. Thinking that others I knew might be struggling, reading about those of us here who are still in the throes of the early days with the Beast, only hardens my resolve to never drink again.

I am lucky to have found SR. Thank you everyone who is here, and who used to be. No one is coming to save us, but this site might just be of great, great aid in our paths to save ourselves.

Happy Sober New Year.

Kay25

I feel the same way. People come and go and I hope they are doing well. Thank you SR, Dee, and the November 2018 class for the support you have given me this past month.

Happy New Year!

lessgravity

Incredible amount of negative posts staying afloat here at SR today, while this one drops further and further down. Just saying.

Maybe there's a reason the people I'm missing no longer show up here.

Anna

LG, I always remember the words of CarolD, who said simply 'Members come and members go and I bless them all on their journey'. Try to focus on the positive threads if some of the threads seem negative to you.

Atlast9999

I’ve noticed that too Less. I don’t participate much because I don’t feel that 200 days gives me any wisdom to impart. But I read SR every day and find it incredibly helpful. Lots of wisdom and good advice on the boards.

soberista

Hey LG. I'm still here. I don't log on as much because sober life has got very enjoyable and busy. In 2 days I shall celebrate my first year sober. I shall post then. Let's hope that's the case for some others. I've noticed some peeps aren't around, or they've logged in some months later and then disappeared again, so I look out for them in case they need a leg up to get on the sober horse. The blood still runs in the veins of SR and the heart beats strongly. (For me the heart being Dee and Venus - always around offering kind words) Thank to them and everyone.

Happy New Year all. Xxx

Dee74

Well, I wouldn't take it personally Less

January is always the busiest month here - lots of people, hurting, raw, scared to death - wanting new starts, seeking change and looking for help and guidance from older hands like yourself

D

Dee74

Your 200 hundred days experience might just be what someone else reading today needs Atlast

D

Dropsie

Less,

Your posts are always so thoughtful and well written it is a pleasure to read them.

Happy New Year.

CupofJoe

I'm sure you've got a lot to say! A person with one day sober can encourage someone with one hour sober. And sometimes people who are new find it easier to relate to someone just starting out. We all have different things to offer, but they're all valuable, no matter what stage you're at. Everyone is important.

And, to the OP, yeah, it can be hard when you miss people, but that's the nature of this. People come and go. I just try to stay positive and focus on the people who are here and think fondly of people I haven't seen in a while. And wish peace for everyone.

Carlotta

Happy New Year

Old member here and still around and sober. I have not posted that much this year because 2018 has been incredibly busy for me. It was not a bad year but it took some grits navigating it LOL.
I also felt for some reason that I did not have much (or new) things to contribute to the board.
Anyway, not everyone who make themselves scarce relapse or think about drinking. Sometimes, we just get caught up in life.

Take care

Delilah1

Happy New Year Less!!

rascalwhiteoak

I recently scrolled through some of the past Class of Feb 2017 posts and got the same feeling. Some classmates still poke around here in other corners, some have vanished. There's barely a handful of us that still check in, but I'm one of the ones that does, so I'll take it.

Less sentimental are my feelings about the wave of newcomers I'll surely encounter at the gym tomorrow afternoon

lessgravity

It's nice to see all of you here. All good points made, especially about those newcomers in the gym.

And Dee, don't know how or wherefrom you got that Buddha in your soul but man thank you as always. Point well taken.

courage2

Hi Carlotta!!!

Thanks for this thread, Less. Reminds me to get beyond my little routines on SR. Meet some newcomers -- give back some of what's been freely given to me.

Carlotta

xxCouragexx hugs good to see you <3
Same with me. I need to log in more often, it used to be a routine for me.
If nothing else, just like you said to greet and reassure some newcomers like we got helped ourselves.

EndGameNYC

Good to see you're still sober, lg. And the same to everyone else I recognize. It's also good to see that there are many good and helpful people still doing what they do best.

But yes, people come and go, and then they don't come back. Or they do. Some often do different things after getting sober. I sometimes need to change things up every now and then, challenge myself. It could be something not fully formed, something that I'd previously dismissed or rejected, or something that I may never have considered. If I don't attend to this kind of restlessness, or if I put it off for too long, it can take me a long time to get myself going again. I don't ever know what the next thing is, the beginning of the next chapter of my life, until I'm in it.

I've still been reading what people post here for at least the past couple of years. Not every day, but usually one or two times each week, usually on the weekends.

I've missed a lot of people from SR as well. I'll never forget Robby, along with his wife towards the end. Robby carried his humanity in ways that brought out the best in him. And often in others. He had a strong voice, and he was here to help as well. There are a few others, but I've never been good with names.

I noticed at least a couple of people here who continue to do the same kinds of things they did before they stopped drinking and wonder how it is that things aren't working out for them. I'm not talking about people who are new to sobriety. It's difficult not to notice them. That's one of the saddest things to read.

People who shut themselves off from good counsel. People who convince themselves that they know best and don't take in some very simple thoughts, one of which may help to save your life. You can't know what you don't know.

I learned that if I could not ask for what I'd inevitably need -- to ask for help -- then it's unlikely that I'd know how to do ask for it when a real crisis hits. And maybe through all this I'd discover that I'm not very good at helping others. Maybe I'd learn nothing. In any case, the walk will do me good.

It's all in the doing.

Don't stop until you get there. And then get up and start something else.