P90

Somewhere around 30 days off alcohol. Is it ok I dont want AA or any other 12 step program? I am not a broken person and dont need to work on any steps. It even based on science and I don't think I could take it seriously because of that.

Anna

This is a list we have of recovery programs that you might find useful. 12 Step Programs work for some, but there are options:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

topspin

.

Welcome P90 !

Congrats on a strong start to ya . There are certainly alternative paths around here at Sober Recovery . The section with years of discussion about AVRT is below in *Secular Connections *

It was helpful for me back in 2013 , …. we've ( SR ) had the good fortune of several folks very experienced addressing the subtle aspects of the technique .

least

Welcome to the family. There are lots of ways to get sober for good. AA is just one way but there are others. Take a look at our Secular Connections forum for some good ideas.

Dee74

Welcome P90 and congrats on 30 days

We're not affiliated with any one method - you'll find a variety of approaches here

D

Gottalife

It is fine not to want AA. It will be there if and when you need it. In the mean time based on my own experience, it seems there are plenty of things we can try before AA. Most people only come to AA as a last resort.

I tried family doctor, counselling, rehab, and "sober house" living as the main approaches after things like will power, geographical, job and relationship changes failed. These days there are lots of different programs to try.

Zebra1275

Lots of people get sober without doing the 12 steps.

I finally went to AA and found the face to face fellowship of others very helpful. Due to my background the 12 steps were not very enlightening and I didn’t expect them to be. The only step that was really important to me was step #1 and I remind myself to follow that one every day.

lessgravity

Not everyone who is broken needs AA and many who are not have used AA to great success.

That said, welcome and congrats. I got sober with this site, AVRT/Rational Recovery and the wonderful people of AA who are always welcoming when I need a meeting to be around people like me.

MidnightBlue

Congrats on 30 days!

AA doesn't have monopoly on sobriety, everyone has his/her own toolbox to get and stay sober.

August252015

Glad you are here. Sounds like not worrying about what AA is or isn't would be good right now and looking at - even more importantly choosing to follow- some program of ACTIVE recovery is a great idea.

Folks here can share lots of experience - Dee has long term sobriety largely based on SR. lessgravity and others can talk about non-AA methods. Least always mentions practicing gratitude as a cornerstone of recovery....

I personally went to AA as a last resort because my parents wouldn't pay for anything (else, more, different, etc), and I was a near fatal case of alcoholism. Broken? Not exactly, but definitely not living the kind of whole life I have in sobriety. I consider alcoholism a disease, not a choice or a character defect (AA terminology for basic human flaws). I also use the tools of an excellent psych, meds for my mental health particularly anxiety, a relationship with my spiritual "isms," good sleep/diet/exercise, strong support of sober people and those non-alcoholics trying to live their own best lives.....lots of pieces to make my puzzle complete.

I'm also the type to read and learn - some would be even stronger investigators, so to speak - but putting that into that active work was and is the most important thing for me.

Hope you stay with us.

DriGuy

You're right. AA is not science. It's a philosophy, and not open to verification other than personal testimony, which is a form of unreliable evidence unacceptable in science.

If the AA Big Book is something that you can't take seriously, don't try to take it seriously. I disagree with much of what is intellectually verbalized in AA. You don't have to believe it because it's in the Big Book. None of Bill Wilson's ideas have undergone scientific verification. And I don't accept it as anything more than philosophical in nature. Yes, there are some axioms in the philosophy that I accept as fact, but there are only a very small few.

I ignored much of the stuff that didn't make sense to me but utilized the support and understanding I got from others in AA. This was a critical part of my recovery. For the most part, people in AA want you to succeed. They understand the problem. You will find support entirely different than what you will get from your family, friends, or your boss. You will be with a small cross section of society that has been there and gets it.

I may disagree with why people think the 12 steps work, and I'm a pretty strong willed person, but I did realize I needed outside help on a problem I had struggled with for years on my own to no avail.

Go it on your own, but if this proves unsuccessful, consider that this might not be the right way for you to deal with the issue. Be open, but not so open that you blindly accept unverified precepts. Some things are true, while others are not. More importantly, some things work, while others don't. Find what actually works through experimentation.

Guener

I don't think I can add a whole lot more to what has been said here but to say that the inputs that lead to dependence or addiction are varied, and the path out can be just as unique. There is a great deal of diversity of thought here and you can avail yourself to read SR posts on a regular basis to learn what may work for you and what you choose as means. What does seem to be common is that it takes a concerted effort to quit and more than just a desire to exit from the travails. You'll see that referred to a lot as having a plan, and there are plenty of discussions about it that are helpful. You've already made it a good way into setting aside the primary thing, and that is picking up, so nicely done!

Leonidas

Just curious, so was it AA that ultimately helped you get sober? Just asking because I don't think the 12 steps are for me either but I do now know I need outside help. I've completely accepted I can't get sober on my own but still unsure of where to go from here.

hellrzr

Believe me, NO ONE thinks the 12 steps are for them!!! Pretty much everyone goes in thinking it won't work and the steps make no sense and how they don't need to do step 4 or 5 or 9... or the ones in between.

The program only works when you get to a point that you have enough desperation to finally do what ever it will take to get better. At that point you will find a sponsor and you will listen to them and your life will get better. For me I was going to AA meetings for about a year before that happened. I went to meetings but I drank on days I didn't attend meetings and knew darn well those dumb ass steps wouldn't work for me because I wasn't some sorry ass sucker like those other people in the meetings. Well ya know what, I was a sorry ass sucker and once I got desperate enough those steps worked miracles in my life!

So I hope that you get to the point where you find the desperation to follow the program of AA with a sponsor so your life will also change in ways that you can't even imagine.

MindfulMan

I was pretty sick and pretty desperate. AA was useful in early sobriety but ultimately was a bad fit. The whole giving myself to a Higher Power jazz just didn't work, nor did the idea of working with sponsors and going to meetings for there's no my life appeal to me. The Big Book did not resonate with me either. The fellowship was useful in early sobriety, but I quickly found other groups and methods that work for me.

Which method you end up using does not matter. What does is that you have some sort of sobriety plan and use it.

DriGuy

Ultimately, it served its purpose, and I got sober, after trying:

1. controlled drinking
2. personal counseling

Was it the ultimate thing? I don't know about that, but it was the last thing I tried when I ultimately quit. No other options were available around me back then so I'm not in a position to make value comparisons. If there was a secular group which didn't embrace a specific program of recovery, especially things I could not accept as truths, I would have gone that route.

Here are helpful things to me that AA offered, and which I accept as fact. At the time, these were unknown or untried by me.

A. Alcoholism is forever
B. Abstinence must be total (forever)
C. Nightly attendance and sharing on my part, at least early on.

But face to face contact with other live alcoholics, especially the happily successful ones, seemed like it was something that had the "ultimate" quality you're asking about. And to a person, those successful members, were all adamant about items A and B above.

The happily successful members were an inspiration, and I remember desperately wanting those qualities of success and happiness. I needed to be around the winners in the group in person every day so I could express my own joy and happiness in my early successes. And their assurances that my cravings were common to everyone in early recovery were also helpful.

No one can force you to do the steps, although some will tell you that you must. I would think about how you might twist them into something personally meaningful, at least some of them. If they are not for you, you are not required to debate your position. Just ignore them, and get serious about your own personal business, which should be to get sober for the rest of your life.

SoberCAH

Glad you're here, P90.

I certainly didn't want AA, but I was in a treatment center which directed me to it for 35 days.

I have stuck with it ever since (a pretty long while) and haven't had a drink.

I also live a satisfying, rewarding life.

It's your sobriety and life, amigo, not mine.

So, you don't have to want (to go to) or AA or even attend meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, read our literature and do service work.

But I sure recommend that you give them all a try.

matrac

P90,
I am almost 6 mos sober and I did no program. I come here a lot because it keeps me grounded, I learn a lot, and I have people to share with. The moderator provides insight and helpful information and tips. The rest was all me...you can do it!
Bonnie

MindfulMan

Your "program" was Sober Recovery. It's a good one.

I didn't discover this resource until I was 40 days in, right after inpatient rehab.

For many SR is their primary or sole program.

wehav2day

HOW got me sober. Honest, Open, Willing

When I said no to things, put any conditions on my recovery, I kept going back to booze.

I finally sobered up for real when I stopped saying no. When I realized that freedom from alcohol was more important than my views or worldview or pride. When I became willing to rewrite how I live my life.

For me, a sponsor and the steps of aa gave me the framework and guidance to do that.

I know many folks who have gotten sober with or without aa. The thing they have in common is their willingness to do whatever it takes. It’s worth it.

Congrats on 30 days, may you have many more.