"Here" looks like a good place to start
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 43
"Here" looks like a good place to start
I'm new here, I took my last drink yesterday and went to a meeting this morning. I had been hiding the amount I drink from everyone, it wasn't unusual for me to grab a wake-up beer.
My GF had gone skiing for a few days and was returning home. That morning, I drank so much I was puking before 10am but figured I would have it under control before she got back. Boy was I wrong.
Yesterday was the first time I asked anyone for help in getting sober. I look at this as the first big step I've taken, the desire to not drink has now outweighed any shame I felt about when other people would think. Whether she's willing to stick around and help is a different story.
I can't point to an event that made me believe that I've hit "rock bottom", nothing like an arrest or car accident, but based on some of the very stupid things I've done this year while under the influence, I figure it was just a matter of time. I have lost two previous GFs because of drinking and I might lose the one I've now been with longest.
I tried to quit this summer and had a week where I had four sober days.
A couple of things have struck me recently that this is a problem beyond my ability to control. The first is that my thinking has been fuzzier. The second is high blood-pressure, the third is that my consumption has increased and the fourth is that I was feeling like I wanted to be alone rather than in a relationship since then I wouldn't have to hide anything.
The one area I'm concerned about is withdrawal but I guess we'll see. I'm trying to figure out if the voice in my head saying that it's okay to have a drink if it's used for tapering purposes is logic or if it's the booze monkey trying to stay a step ahead of me.
My GF had gone skiing for a few days and was returning home. That morning, I drank so much I was puking before 10am but figured I would have it under control before she got back. Boy was I wrong.
Yesterday was the first time I asked anyone for help in getting sober. I look at this as the first big step I've taken, the desire to not drink has now outweighed any shame I felt about when other people would think. Whether she's willing to stick around and help is a different story.
I can't point to an event that made me believe that I've hit "rock bottom", nothing like an arrest or car accident, but based on some of the very stupid things I've done this year while under the influence, I figure it was just a matter of time. I have lost two previous GFs because of drinking and I might lose the one I've now been with longest.
I tried to quit this summer and had a week where I had four sober days.
A couple of things have struck me recently that this is a problem beyond my ability to control. The first is that my thinking has been fuzzier. The second is high blood-pressure, the third is that my consumption has increased and the fourth is that I was feeling like I wanted to be alone rather than in a relationship since then I wouldn't have to hide anything.
The one area I'm concerned about is withdrawal but I guess we'll see. I'm trying to figure out if the voice in my head saying that it's okay to have a drink if it's used for tapering purposes is logic or if it's the booze monkey trying to stay a step ahead of me.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,753
Welcome to the family. 
Tapering off is very hard for alcoholics to do. I'd suggest seeing your doctor for medical help to get safely thru the withdrawal. Meds can be given short term to reduce anxiety and the risk of seizures.
You'll find lots of support here.
I hope we can help you get sober for good.
Tapering off is very hard for alcoholics to do. I'd suggest seeing your doctor for medical help to get safely thru the withdrawal. Meds can be given short term to reduce anxiety and the risk of seizures. You'll find lots of support here.
I hope we can help you get sober for good. 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Welcome, and you have listed good reasons why you want to stop drinking. You will find lots of support here. It's always a good idea to have a plan in place for how you plan to stop drinking and stay sober. What will you do each day to help support your recovery? And, if you're concerned about withdrawals, do talk to your dr.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Welcome EANx and congratulations on your decision to change your life for the better. I wish you much luck on your journey.
I don't know your drinking history but I would strongly advise doing any detox without consulting a doctor. When I went through withdrawal the last time I wanted to suffer so I would be dissuaded from drinking again. I had completely underestimated how bad withdrawal was going to be. There were moments where I believed I was going to die.
I don't know your drinking history but I would strongly advise doing any detox without consulting a doctor. When I went through withdrawal the last time I wanted to suffer so I would be dissuaded from drinking again. I had completely underestimated how bad withdrawal was going to be. There were moments where I believed I was going to die.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,861
Welcome to SR! As has been said, you will receive a lot of support here. Please do see your doctor and be honest with him/her about your drinking. There are meds that can help with the withdrawals.
As far as "rock bottom," we decide when we have hit rock bottom. It doesn't have to be an event (wreck, lost job, etc.), it can be when we finally decide that we don't want to live another day as we have been living. I had a wreck and got a DWI, but I still continued drinking for another two years. I have over 10 years sober now, using SR and the great support here.
Again, welcome! You can do this!
As far as "rock bottom," we decide when we have hit rock bottom. It doesn't have to be an event (wreck, lost job, etc.), it can be when we finally decide that we don't want to live another day as we have been living. I had a wreck and got a DWI, but I still continued drinking for another two years. I have over 10 years sober now, using SR and the great support here.
Again, welcome! You can do this!
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