Today's the Day I have to change my life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 5
Today's the Day I have to change my life
Hello. I have struggled with alcohol addiction all my adult life, but currently my behaviour has become intolerable and I HAVE to change my life...I HAVE to stop drinking... not cutting down or having the odd glass of wine socially, but stopping all together, and I need help and support from people who understand what I've been going through and what I face ahead of me. Today I have to say I am a Non-Drinker, and any support you can give me will be graciously and gratefully appreciated. Thank You.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Welcome aboard the sober train topaz! You’ll find a lot of support here from some very wise and caring people at SR. I look forward to reading more of your posts. You can do this xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 5
Thank you...I really, really, really hope I can do this, and I will take any advice I can get. I almost lost the one person I love due to my addiction and appalling behaviour under the influence of alcohol. I feel such shame at the moment but I want to feel proud and strong x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 5
I do have a plan of sorts - and that's to find a place other than AA (its never really helped me before) where I can be honest about my addiction and the pain its causing and gather tools that will support me on this difficult journey. I'm looking at SMART at the moment. Any views on that organisation?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
That does sound like a plan Topaz. Good work.
I never did the SMART path, though AA wasn't really for me either. Look up Rational Recovery, found that line of thinking and methodology very useful in getting sober.
I never did the SMART path, though AA wasn't really for me either. Look up Rational Recovery, found that line of thinking and methodology very useful in getting sober.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
Good luck topaz. I quit on 30th December 2014, it will be good to share an anniversary with you.
I went to a few smart meetings, I found them really variable in their helpfulness depending on who took the meetings.
I went to a few smart meetings, I found them really variable in their helpfulness depending on who took the meetings.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
CONGRATULATIONS!
I'm 19 months in, and it's far better than I could have anticipated.
AA Step 1 was crucial to my recovery, which I suddenly got in inpatient rehab. My life was out of control ('normie' drinkers don't wake up in rehab and wonder where they are and how they got there) and I could never control my drinking.
I did a lot of 12 Step in inpatient recovery and during the 5 weeks I waited for my outpatient recovery to start. Ultimately it didn't work for me either, and I work with a modified version of Step 1. If I take one sip of alcohol the changes are nearly 100% that I will end up in that horrible state again, and the only way for me to avoid rehab in the future was to NEVER take that sip (or line, I was a cokehead as well). Without really knowing it I'd made the Big Plan in Rational Recovery terms, and the cornerstone of my recovery is that I've decided I am a nondrinker and there are absolutely no circumstances, ever, where it is OK to take that sip. SMART is along these lines, and uses cognitive methods to help maintain sobriety. Unfortunately there wasn't a good group near me, the one I found had a number of people with pretty serious psychosis related mental illness issues that weren't helpful to me (this is not true of ALL SMART groups by any means, and also there are online resources).
Inpatient therapy was dual diagnosis (dealt with a comorbid psychiatric diagnosis, in my case Bipolar II disorder and ADD), and cognitive group, medication, and individual therapy based. Cognitive work gave me lots of practical tools to deal with cravings, anxiety and depression, and was very useful. I got a referral after the 8 weeks of outpatient to a gifted therapist that does psychodynamic work and is also in 15 years of successful recovery, I still see him.
I made that decision that I was a non-drinker, and then tried every tool available to me to get and stay sober, keeping the ones that worked. If AA isn't for you, there are tons of other resources, medical, SMART, therapy, Rational Recovery, this website, etc.
Use whatever resources you have. My only suggestion is that if you're using the medical route, try to find a psychiatrist who has experience with substance abuse if you can, as primary care doctors generally don't have the training and experience to deal with mental health and substance abuse disorders.
Don't try all of this at once! Pick a place and try it, and keep going, and most importantly...don't drink. It's extremely difficult to stop on your own, but ultimately it's only you that keeps that glass from being lifted to your mouth.
Welcome to Sober Recovery and the most exciting journey of your life.
I'm 19 months in, and it's far better than I could have anticipated.
AA Step 1 was crucial to my recovery, which I suddenly got in inpatient rehab. My life was out of control ('normie' drinkers don't wake up in rehab and wonder where they are and how they got there) and I could never control my drinking.
I did a lot of 12 Step in inpatient recovery and during the 5 weeks I waited for my outpatient recovery to start. Ultimately it didn't work for me either, and I work with a modified version of Step 1. If I take one sip of alcohol the changes are nearly 100% that I will end up in that horrible state again, and the only way for me to avoid rehab in the future was to NEVER take that sip (or line, I was a cokehead as well). Without really knowing it I'd made the Big Plan in Rational Recovery terms, and the cornerstone of my recovery is that I've decided I am a nondrinker and there are absolutely no circumstances, ever, where it is OK to take that sip. SMART is along these lines, and uses cognitive methods to help maintain sobriety. Unfortunately there wasn't a good group near me, the one I found had a number of people with pretty serious psychosis related mental illness issues that weren't helpful to me (this is not true of ALL SMART groups by any means, and also there are online resources).
Inpatient therapy was dual diagnosis (dealt with a comorbid psychiatric diagnosis, in my case Bipolar II disorder and ADD), and cognitive group, medication, and individual therapy based. Cognitive work gave me lots of practical tools to deal with cravings, anxiety and depression, and was very useful. I got a referral after the 8 weeks of outpatient to a gifted therapist that does psychodynamic work and is also in 15 years of successful recovery, I still see him.
I made that decision that I was a non-drinker, and then tried every tool available to me to get and stay sober, keeping the ones that worked. If AA isn't for you, there are tons of other resources, medical, SMART, therapy, Rational Recovery, this website, etc.
Use whatever resources you have. My only suggestion is that if you're using the medical route, try to find a psychiatrist who has experience with substance abuse if you can, as primary care doctors generally don't have the training and experience to deal with mental health and substance abuse disorders.
Don't try all of this at once! Pick a place and try it, and keep going, and most importantly...don't drink. It's extremely difficult to stop on your own, but ultimately it's only you that keeps that glass from being lifted to your mouth.
Welcome to Sober Recovery and the most exciting journey of your life.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome and I'm glad you're here. You can do this! We do understand how hard it is. My suggestion is to come up with a plan that will work for you, some things you do each day that help you to recover. And, shame and guilt are often a huge part of alcoholism. Don't allow those feelings to keep you down, because they can lead you back to drinking again. Focus on what you can do right now, today. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 765
Originally Posted by MindfulMan 
CONGRATULATIONS!
I'm 19 months in, and it's far better than I could have anticipated.
AA Step 1 was crucial to my recovery, which I suddenly got in inpatient rehab. My life was out of control ('normie' drinkers don't wake up in rehab and wonder where they are and how they got there) and I could never control my drinking.
I did a lot of 12 Step in inpatient recovery and during the 5 weeks I waited for my outpatient recovery to start. Ultimately it didn't work for me either, and I work with a modified version of Step 1. If I take one sip of alcohol the changes are nearly 100% that I will end up in that horrible state again, and the only way for me to avoid rehab in the future was to NEVER take that sip (or line, I was a cokehead as well). Without really knowing it I'd made the Big Plan in Rational Recovery terms, and the cornerstone of my recovery is that I've decided I am a nondrinker and there are absolutely no circumstances, ever, where it is OK to take that sip. SMART is along these lines, and uses cognitive methods to help maintain sobriety. Unfortunately there wasn't a good group near me, the one I found had a number of people with pretty serious psychosis related mental illness issues that weren't helpful to me (this is not true of ALL SMART groups by any means, and also there are online resources).
Inpatient therapy was dual diagnosis (dealt with a comorbid psychiatric diagnosis, in my case Bipolar II disorder and ADD), and cognitive group, medication, and individual therapy based. Cognitive work gave me lots of practical tools to deal with cravings, anxiety and depression, and was very useful. I got a referral after the 8 weeks of outpatient to a gifted therapist that does psychodynamic work and is also in 15 years of successful recovery, I still see him.
I made that decision that I was a non-drinker, and then tried every tool available to me to get and stay sober, keeping the ones that worked. If AA isn't for you, there are tons of other resources, medical, SMART, therapy, Rational Recovery, this website, etc.
Use whatever resources you have. My only suggestion is that if you're using the medical route, try to find a psychiatrist who has experience with substance abuse if you can, as primary care doctors generally don't have the training and experience to deal with mental health and substance abuse disorders.
Don't try all of this at once! Pick a place and try it, and keep going, and most importantly...don't drink. It's extremely difficult to stop on your own, but ultimately it's only you that keeps that glass from being lifted to your mouth.
Welcome to Sober Recovery and the most exciting journey of your life.
I'm 19 months in, and it's far better than I could have anticipated.
AA Step 1 was crucial to my recovery, which I suddenly got in inpatient rehab. My life was out of control ('normie' drinkers don't wake up in rehab and wonder where they are and how they got there) and I could never control my drinking.
I did a lot of 12 Step in inpatient recovery and during the 5 weeks I waited for my outpatient recovery to start. Ultimately it didn't work for me either, and I work with a modified version of Step 1. If I take one sip of alcohol the changes are nearly 100% that I will end up in that horrible state again, and the only way for me to avoid rehab in the future was to NEVER take that sip (or line, I was a cokehead as well). Without really knowing it I'd made the Big Plan in Rational Recovery terms, and the cornerstone of my recovery is that I've decided I am a nondrinker and there are absolutely no circumstances, ever, where it is OK to take that sip. SMART is along these lines, and uses cognitive methods to help maintain sobriety. Unfortunately there wasn't a good group near me, the one I found had a number of people with pretty serious psychosis related mental illness issues that weren't helpful to me (this is not true of ALL SMART groups by any means, and also there are online resources).
Inpatient therapy was dual diagnosis (dealt with a comorbid psychiatric diagnosis, in my case Bipolar II disorder and ADD), and cognitive group, medication, and individual therapy based. Cognitive work gave me lots of practical tools to deal with cravings, anxiety and depression, and was very useful. I got a referral after the 8 weeks of outpatient to a gifted therapist that does psychodynamic work and is also in 15 years of successful recovery, I still see him.
I made that decision that I was a non-drinker, and then tried every tool available to me to get and stay sober, keeping the ones that worked. If AA isn't for you, there are tons of other resources, medical, SMART, therapy, Rational Recovery, this website, etc.
Use whatever resources you have. My only suggestion is that if you're using the medical route, try to find a psychiatrist who has experience with substance abuse if you can, as primary care doctors generally don't have the training and experience to deal with mental health and substance abuse disorders.
Don't try all of this at once! Pick a place and try it, and keep going, and most importantly...don't drink. It's extremely difficult to stop on your own, but ultimately it's only you that keeps that glass from being lifted to your mouth.
Welcome to Sober Recovery and the most exciting journey of your life.
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