Struggling with trigger
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Struggling with trigger
Feeling triggered. My ex who I had bad relationship and who drinks and other addictions I think but who I share custody with tried to invite himself over New Years. He is a Liar mostly although we get on to an extent I don’t want to be around drink or a drinker. I have co dependency issues also. I said no thanks but I feel manipulated I always feel like that after convo with him. I don’t want to spend time with him kids or not. Being manipulated makes me trigger. I will spend last night of year alone on here if I need to and will bring in new year sober. Don’t know what I’m saying really except for years ago I would have had him over and drank etc because better than being alone. I won’t do that now so maybe there is progress. Still feel sad that it’s like this but all I know is that I must put my recovery first. Needed to vent as I feel emotions gripping me
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 119
Originally Posted by eve123 
Feeling triggered. My ex who I had bad relationship and who drinks and other addictions I think but who I share custody with tried to invite himself over New Years. He is a Liar mostly although we get on to an extent I don’t want to be around drink or a drinker. I have co dependency issues also. I said no thanks but I feel manipulated I always feel like that after convo with him. I don’t want to spend time with him kids or not. Being manipulated makes me trigger. I will spend last night of year alone on here if I need to and will bring in new year sober. Don’t know what I’m saying really except for years ago I would have had him over and drank etc because better than being alone. I won’t do that now so maybe there is progress. Still feel sad that it’s like this but all I know is that I must put my recovery first. Needed to vent as I feel emotions gripping me
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
I think it is progress--you said no, and are feeling the uncomfortable feelings which is how you get them to pass.
Stuffing them or drinking them away doesn't work.
This will--be patient and also proud of yourself for breaking a toxic cycle--
Stuffing them or drinking them away doesn't work.
This will--be patient and also proud of yourself for breaking a toxic cycle--
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,907
Agree with Hawkeye you should feel pride. And no one can tell you not to feel sadness but I would encourage you to focus on the beautiful gift you are giving yourself and ultimately your children by making decisions not because someone pressures you but because you are standing on your own two feet relying on your own good judgment. You’ve got this.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Eve it’s an essential part of your recovery being able to say no.
Like hawk said feel your feelings.
Learn them.
At first they ar very hightened/raw but as you grow you learn who you are and the best thing to do is love yourself whatever the feeling is you are struggling with.
Things find a nice level eventually.
You will make yourself proud when you achieve the little or large goals that all take part in making your life a better one.
Good luck you are doing great.
Like hawk said feel your feelings.
Learn them.
At first they ar very hightened/raw but as you grow you learn who you are and the best thing to do is love yourself whatever the feeling is you are struggling with.
Things find a nice level eventually.
You will make yourself proud when you achieve the little or large goals that all take part in making your life a better one.
Good luck you are doing great.
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Thanks for letting me get that out. Off to bed shortly sober and hopefully the same tomorrow. I did acctually do the opisite to my past behaviour and nothing is worth going back to. I can’t wait to start loving myself enough to not let things like this bother me. As I’m told on here that it’s only time and sobriety that will change things for me. Sadness gone I acctually said no and I meant it
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Thank you all. It feels food to do the right thing for myself and although it was hard to do that and challenge old behaviour patterns I did to it. Now for today and getting through tonight sober. I do not ever want to go back to where I was. Thankful for SR
Reality...what a concept!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: CT, USA
Posts: 1,232
Sounds like you are making an excellent choice by putting your sobriety first...that is the best thing you can do for you and your children. Play the tape forward to 1 January and think about how wonderful you will feel as opposed to wrecked with hangover. Happy New Year 🥳
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 174
"It feels food to do the right thing for myself and although it was hard to do that and challenge old behaviour patterns I did to it."
I can relate to this Eve. I am discovering the more I do it, it's getting a bit easier. And it sure feels good! Stay strong
I can relate to this Eve. I am discovering the more I do it, it's getting a bit easier. And it sure feels good! Stay strong
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