Highercall

lessgravity

Wrong. And, in a strange way, the life you get back and get to live once you beat the Beast, is filled with gratitude and wisdom and transcendence in ways that I'm not entirely sure those who don't have an addiction get to experience or can understand.

But it takes work. And no one is coming to save you.

suki44883

Yes, willpower alone rarely works. There is help, though and many, many people have gone on to live happy, sober lives. You can, too. You just have to be willing to do whatever is necessary.

Dee74

The misery does end - but it took acceptance for me.

Willpower didn't work for me because part of my will wanted to drink. Acceptance worked better.

Acceptance that my relationship with alcohol was toxic and that if I wanted a good life and I wanted to fill my potential I could not have a relationship with alcohol.

Stayng sober those first few monbths until I got the real me back was hard.

It was very very uncomfortable not to drink at times - but I changed my life to reflect my desire to be sober, I found support, and I used it.

There's thousands of success stories here HC - focus on those - do what they did.

There's absolutely no need to stay miserable if you don't want to

D

Finalround

There's a pill for that!

I wanted to lose weight and get in shape like I was in my 20's and 30's.

I wanted my marriage to be more like it was in the early years.

I wanted financial security so I could worry less.

I wanted to be free from the grips of alcohol.

I think I've made my point.

MantaLady

It can end HC and has for many many people.

Medication alone is not the solution to alcoholism, as I have said to you before YOU are the solution HC. The solution is having a robust recovery plan and working it, reaching out for help before you drink not after, listening to advice and putting it into action. It all starts with you, no pill will do it for you. The reason it’s not working for you is you are still looking for something external to be responsible for fixing you. True recovery comes from realising you have to be accountable and have to make and stick to good choices and decisions, you have to choose to sit with uncomfortable feelings and not pick up a drink. x

Avra

This. 100 percent.
I feel my alcoholism (in recovery) has allowed me to enjoy life on lifes terms and without the need for alcohol to make every event or occasion great. I am grateful for who I am. Its not always easy but i am glad i am who i am.

ScottFromWI

I would disagree as well. The misfortune of my addiction/alcoholism/alcohol problem ended about 6 years ago. And it ended for a lot of other people in recovery when they made the choice to do so.

The silver lining to addition is that it's 100% "curable" in the sense that you have a choice to stop drinking. You don't have a choice to just quit having cancer. You can't just decide to not have dementia anymore. Nor can you simply choose to not have HIV. But it's a fact that you can end most of the problems that are involved with drinking alcohol at any time. And you can stay quit forever if you make the choice to do so and do the necessary work to get there.

Soberwolf

That almost sounds like for every 4 months you binge there will be 3 weeks of recovery here and there - do the math on that (9 weeks sober a year) that's not bingeing HigherCall that is something that I can relate to in my past when I was in active addiction.

Your bang on the money about the tortured life bit it really was back then I was a absolute mess a young trainwreck who had completely lost his way .. I actually feel sorry for you not in a condensending way but more like I'm looking at myself

I didn't have SR when I was ******* up bad or in my 1st year of recovery I wish I did

I think some good points have been raised but especially listen to Dee74 the guy has a vast bag of knowledge and I wouldn't be where I am today without all the help I got from this place

Remember your exactly where you're supposed to be

dcg

I used to feel this way, but if what Jordan Peterson says about certain people prone to alcohol abuse is true (psychomotor stimulant response to alcohol), then it sure seems like a disease, one that increases, they think, beta-endorphin which is why naltrexone (opioid antagonist) has worked for people.

It's not like cancer, sure, but many overweight people with high blood pressure, for example, wouldn't have it if they controlled their weight and exercised, so in that regard, it's pretty similar to alcoholism - that is, both can be fixed with the correct respective choices.

Guener

I have my own thoughts about alcoholism, but those are less important than how I deal with it today.

What it means for me:

1. I cannot drink at all
2. I am not alone in my fight against alcohol
3. I treat my alcoholism as a physical threat
4. I view my alcoholism as a mental foe
5. I am not a superman
6. I am responsible for my recovery
7. I can measure my successful outcomes
8. I am not damned by my failures
9. I am worthy of the effort

I welcome any progress that the medical community makes toward relieving the suffering that alcoholics experience in coping with the physical aspects of withdrawal, with cravings, with repair of our bodies. But I know why I started to drink, and I know that it's now impossible for me to do so and be a happy, contributing person in my society. My path to recovery can be different from another's, and I must work hard to realize its success.

D122y

Hc,

So many awesome responses already. I agree most Dr.'s don't understand addiction. Throwing meds at an alky could be the same as throwing gas mixed with a few sticks of dynamite on a fire.

This place, is thus far, been my road to recovery. I am nearly 4 years without being intoxicated and there really has been no instant miracle.

There have been periods of suffering, then grace/pity/serenity, then suffering, repeated over and over. I can't expect the serenity time to continue to lengthen. That might be asking too much.

What I can do is appreciate the serene times that I have. To bask in them like warm sun rays on a cloudy day.

The whole time knowing and preparing, like a warrior, for the inevitable crave.

It is time to put on my big boy pants.

God help me.

Thanks.

Horatio48

I am that guy. Who relapsed after four months sober. It was a one week binge. I am now a month sober. Feeling down. But committed to working hard and getting it right. Back to working out. Taking the drug the therapist prescribed (or one of them - the other one made me feel lousy). Waiting for the sun to shine again. I need to be patient.

Finalround

This! This makes you a great individual and a hero to the rest of us Horatio. Keep it up. And continue to share. It helps us all

Fearlessat50

Hi HC, I am sorry you feel that way. I also relapsed. I relapsed countless times on an every two day cycle, then at 2 weeks, 3 months, six months, nine months. I’m now almost two years in. I don’t see myself ever relapsing again. I feel like a different person now. One never knows for sure, but I just don’t see it happening as long as I continue my daily sobriety practices. And I take it one day at a time

I felt the way you did in the beginning. People do relapse. Life is hard. But my perspective has changed. I wouldn’t necessarily say my alcoholism has been a blessing in disguise. But I needed to change myself and become a better person, and my alcoholism has helped me accomplish this. Without my alcoholism, I would have never experienced sobriety, not just from alcohol but from other addictions, borderline addictions and unhealthy ways of living too.

I think if you give yourself time and take it one day at a time, you will look back one day and see things differently.

tomsteve

some people can recover on will power alone. some cant.

the medical commmunity has been working for many,many years on it. there have been many solutions found- ones that require the alcoholic to act. this isnt something where theres going to be a magic pill that will get a person sober and i highly doubt there will ever be a cure. people can recover with action.

this is one instance i will compare alcoholism to cancer:
without action on my part, both would have progressed- i was, and still am, responsible for treatment of both.