First AA meeting in a long time
First AA meeting in a long time
At about 8 1/2 months sober I've been noticing feelings of frustration/self-pity/isolation related to hanging out with friends and family who drink. Parties, lunches and just about everywhere I've been recently have involved booze. Not everyone getting loaded, but plenty of consumption. Wanted to be around some people who were sober and/or trying to get sober. So I looked up some meetings and went to one at lunch today.
The first meeting I tried to go to turned out to be closed - guess the school was closed for holidays. I ran into a guy out front, younger than me, and he said he was headed to a meeting across town. We hustled over in the rain. On the walk over, he told me his story, I told him mine. He has been sober for almost 2 years, 27yo, party-kid wearing all black with tattoos running down his arms. He had a loose, affable, reckless way of talking. Funny kid. I told him it was impressive that he was sober at 27- so much of life he might be able not to waste. But I could tell he had been through a tough life. Who knows what shadows lurk in the heart's of men...
I told him about how I was 8 months sober. That I am not feeling any cravings or temptation to drink, just that I wanted to be around some non-drinkers or wannabe non-drinkers.
The meeting was small. It felt good to hear the varied stories. I shared and spoke about (1st Step) the level of unmanageableness my life had descended into in the last couple years of my drinking. Not knowing what would happen, lying to everyone, finding an empty vodka bottle in my briefcase in the middle of a deposition and not knowing where I had bought it....same old. Felt good to share with confidence and calmness - as opposed to other times I've been in the rooms, barely holding back tears, so ashamed. I'm a different person now, felt very grateful to be sober and to have saved myself.
Anyhow I'm glad I went. Will try for a couple more meetings here and there when I can. Even for a non-AA'er like myself, the community, the honesty, the plainfaced support everyone has for each other - it's an amazing place.
The first meeting I tried to go to turned out to be closed - guess the school was closed for holidays. I ran into a guy out front, younger than me, and he said he was headed to a meeting across town. We hustled over in the rain. On the walk over, he told me his story, I told him mine. He has been sober for almost 2 years, 27yo, party-kid wearing all black with tattoos running down his arms. He had a loose, affable, reckless way of talking. Funny kid. I told him it was impressive that he was sober at 27- so much of life he might be able not to waste. But I could tell he had been through a tough life. Who knows what shadows lurk in the heart's of men...
I told him about how I was 8 months sober. That I am not feeling any cravings or temptation to drink, just that I wanted to be around some non-drinkers or wannabe non-drinkers.
The meeting was small. It felt good to hear the varied stories. I shared and spoke about (1st Step) the level of unmanageableness my life had descended into in the last couple years of my drinking. Not knowing what would happen, lying to everyone, finding an empty vodka bottle in my briefcase in the middle of a deposition and not knowing where I had bought it....same old. Felt good to share with confidence and calmness - as opposed to other times I've been in the rooms, barely holding back tears, so ashamed. I'm a different person now, felt very grateful to be sober and to have saved myself.
Anyhow I'm glad I went. Will try for a couple more meetings here and there when I can. Even for a non-AA'er like myself, the community, the honesty, the plainfaced support everyone has for each other - it's an amazing place.
I love my AA group. I always feel better after a meeting than I did before I walked in. There are some meetings in this town, one in particular, that I don't care for, and do not attend. But my home group rocks. There is always support there, much like here.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
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It is great to be around sober people. Especially other alcoholics in recovery. I am an AA'er anyway but by the end of Christmas day I had had enough and took myself to the AA meeting open near me and I felt instant relief when I walked through the doors. I am finding I really want to spend my time with non drinkers. Good for you x x
been quite a while since I've been to a meeting. Hoping to get to one tomorrow. Meant to make it today for my 5 year mark, but I needed to be home with our daughter because my wife worked early.
Thank you for sharing and for the reminder that - even when we've been away a while - when we return to the tables it's nearly always a gift.
Thank you for sharing and for the reminder that - even when we've been away a while - when we return to the tables it's nearly always a gift.
That's great, Less! I'm so glad you posted. I was thinking of you today and wondering how you were holding up over the holidays, since you hadn't posted in a few. You are an inspiration! I'm still struggling but really determined to break this cycle. Keep at this and don't ever look back.
Hit up another one this morning. It was a meeting of sober agnostics. It was a group that I had found many years ago that used to meet in a different location. It was a reminder of how much I was struggling back then. I'm in such a different place now, I feel very lucky to have finally turned the corner. It was a great meeting and the people there were about as interesting, varied and cool as one could ask for. I plan on going back when I can.
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