Hemispheres

Hi all, i first joined this Forum in Dec 2015 a few months after a 11 night detox in a NHS Clinic ( not sure if allowed to mention the clinic ). Brilliant..... until i came out walking home. Not missed a day without drink since. Next month same clinic/hospital for roughly only 3 nights then around 8 days further detox at home. I frightened of failing again. They wanted me in earlier but would be a discaplinary at work. Need do it this time for good has going down hill fast. The withdrawels start around 4-5am has the alcohol wears off, Terrible they are. Im a lot worse drinker than when i last went in. I love a drink but hate it too. Im currently 250 units a week. Been a problem for over 25 years. Its thinking i cannot have a drink again and me and my partner already have all inclusive holidays booked ( dreading them )

Dee74

Welcome back Hemispheres

The holiday booking doesn't sound like its going to be terribly conducive to you making it to detox in Feb - what does your partner think?

D

Hemispheres

Thanks for reading Dee74, My wife doesn`t now it really but she has an alcohol problem to has i no all the signs and its creeping up on her. She can leave it few days but when she has a drink it can be neally a 70 cl vodka in a night.

MantaLady

I think if you want to make it stick this time you need to do something different no? Your addictive thinking is telling you that you should go on the holiday when your sober self is telling you it’s not a good idea. Listen to your sober self and make different choices this time otherwise you are going to get the same results you always do. x

August252015

I'm glad you are sharing. What can you do now if detox doesn't start til Feb? It's so hard to quit - and tougher if we have to put aside others' drinking, til we accept we can't do it for them if they also have a problem - but the longer we put it off the worse it is. You've already seen the progressive worsening with repeated relapses....I wish you that kernel of determination to make this your last start.

I just do not believe we get unlimited chances. I know I don't have a relapse in me. Stay with us and seek the available IRL resources- today.

Hemispheres

ive ran out of drink few hours ago and im scared, just woken up

August252015

I'm sorry to hear this Hemispheres.

Dee74

Hi hemispheres - have you thought about posting here daily? Who knows - using support before you drink again may help you get off the booze and stay off it think?

D

DontRemember

are you planning on drinking the same until Feb? If so,ya may not make it as you 'plan'. Be it drunken decisions(law),health,ect..Why not start today since you're currently outta booze? As for the all inclusive vacations you say you "dread".. I no longer do things I dread(work excluded) that are 100% my choice to take/leave..If i think there is a good chance of me drinking, I choose to not do that 'thing' anymore.

noaddedsugar

Definitely try posting here when you are craving. I've found this site so helpful. I used to love and hate alcohol at the same time. Until I got myself in such a state where I was totally physically dependent then I just HATED it.

I haven't yet dealt with the idea I need be abstinent forever as that is daunting so I'm just trying my best to stay sober each day at a time and feeling very positive with the way it's going.

When is your holiday booked for? I can imagine sober all inclusive to be hugely challenging!

Hemispheres

Hi DontRemember
I no its wrong to say ( Yes ) im drinking the same until my Detox 5th Feb, I No this is very wrong and its an excuse to carry on next few weeks ( i no this is wrong ) and sounds has tho i could fail..!! iv e had 5 cans Carlberg Special brew but hasnt touched me has my usual brand not available :-(. Prob reason im on here. My mexico holiday is October 2019. Ive been thinking all day , after next month i wonder if i go all them months without a drink perhaps i could have a few in Mexico? Deep Down i NO I CARNT...!!!! did this in 2008 and full time when back home :-( Life is **** when you lose the right to 1 drink but life with drink is totally totally **** ...!!!

Hemispheres

Will Do noaddedsugar :-)

Hemispheres

So my detox next month ( i did go in 2015 for 11 nights ) ive now learned that now there is a no smoking poilcy including outside ( used to be allowed in the garden any time when there 2015 ). No Smoking policy , So im to give up my smoking has well as alcohol??? Thats 2 addictions in 1, Thats to much to ask

Dee74

Hi hemispheres

It's obvious you want change or you wouldn;t be here on SR - but the dominant theme of your posts seems to be a reluctance towards or fear of change?

I get that, but I really think change is necessary for a successful recovery.

I couldn't live my old life and not drink, because my old life was all about drinking.

Whether or not you go to detox is up to you - but what then?

Kudos for you for wanting to detox safely - I'm all for that but detox is not a magic wand that will take away the desire to drink .

Staying sober is gonna take hard work and long term commitment.

Not trying to scare you, just laying it out.

I think if you committed to posting here regularly (daily or more) and you read around a little it might hep you to see that no one loses out on the deal when they get sober.

Our lives change sure - but not for the worse

D

MantaLady

You haven’t lost the right to do anything. You have the right to have a drink.. You have a right to experience depression and anxiety and self loathing. You have a right to have a hangover. All these things and more you have an absolute right to have.

The thing is you also have a choice, you can choose the above and that’s your right to do so. Or you can choose you don’t want the above anymore. It’s as simple as that.

Best of luck x

Hemispheres

its come through today , i go next friday and scared coming out

thomas11

I think being scared is normal. Its probably the best decision of your life. Grab onto it and learn as much as you can.

Dee74

all the best hemispheres - try and resist the urge for a last hurrah tho - I think we have to let go of drinking sometime - may as well be now.

D

August252015

Please go.

least

I hope you can leave drinking behind and live a better sober life.